Taking My Soul
by Historia70
Summary: The point of being normal when you feel so dead inside it makes you wonder how things will ever be the same again. Helga is dealing with something that has changed her life. Now with family, friends, and the support of Dr Bliss, Helga has to find a way to get back on her own two feet. (Warning: Heavy subject matter)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Helga is 15 when the story starts. She is in her first year of High School. I'll be honest that this is semi-factual. I wrote this needing a reason to let it out of my system. This is how I have helped others by writing about past experiences, and melding it into a story. I won't get preachy. You just know that rape is bad.**

 **Please read the second A/N at the end.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Hey Arnold**

* * *

She was in the far corner of her room. Her hair hung loosely. Limp. She scrubbed her body with a wash cloth, a sponge, and ended it with a loofah. The shower was so hot that her skin begged her to stop, but she couldn't. She still felt unclean. She felt more worthless than before this nightmare happened. Her eyes were so puffy from all the crying she did, she wondered if she had any tears left. She wore really baggy clothes to hide her body away. She burned the uniform she was made to wear for a few years. If they wanted it back, they can go to hell. That's where they belonged. Her parents checked up on her, but she knew she hadn't spoke a word to them. Or did she?

Hearing a male voice outside shouting to someone, Helga tightened her knees up against her chest. Her head rested on her knees and she willed never to hear another guy right now. Her father being the exception. He was now understanding to her situation without pulling the, Pataki pride on her again. For some reason, a reason she was sure her mother had some doing with, he decided to not do that. He offered to pay for more self-defense classes. Classes he will make sure only women train you. Anything to make her comfortable. Anything to get his fighter of a daughter back. She knew that was nice of him to do. It was nice when he sat down beside her a few hours ago to wrap his arm around her shoulder to comfort her.

* * *

 _* Flashback*_

 _Private school had much bigger rules than regular public school. Helga didn't like to be regulated so heavily, but seeing as no one really knew her, she remained more quiet. Her family thought this would be better for her. They believed that with her brain she could do it. Sometimes it felt odd that even her own father started calling her by her actual name. It felt odd to have him patting her shoulder in a almost prideful way. She knew it was nice compared to when she was younger, but still odd._

 _She only had a couple of friends, but nothing as close to her old ones. With her schedule, it was hard to have that time with the PS118 crew. She hardly saw even Arnold anymore. It was something she hated, but at the same time, she needed it. She needed to move past her obsessive need for him. He was her drug of choice. A drug that could build her up or knock her down. He only knocked her down when he paid attention to another pretty face forcing her to get meaner to him. It was her way of keeping his attention. Soon, she learned not to do that. She loved him far too much to keep up with her own stupidity._

 _In this new school, she kept to herself. She had two girls she spoke with there, and a guy who couldn't get enough of flirting with her. It was a nice change for a guy to do that so she talked to him. He flirted. She would sometimes mock. He didn't seem to mind her mocking. He seemed to love it more than any other guy around. He asked her out, and she would blush. She never accepted. Oh, she wanted to, but her schedule she made for herself, kept her back. It was the schedule of not wanting to form too much attachment right now. He persisted still._

 _He persisted to the point of how her current state is right now._

 _While all classes were in session, she was in the restroom alone. As she was in the toilet stall, she finished off only faintly hearing the sound of someone else entering. She ignored it since it obviously was another girl using the bathroom. Adjusting her uniform, she was stepping out when a person slammed her back into the stall. She blacked out for a bit only coming to at the feeling of another entering inside of her. Helga's eyes flew open. She tried to push him off. She looked into the eyes of the guy who had been flirting with her. Helga hit him. She squealed till he hit her against the wall harder._

 _He took more than her virginity away that day. He took away her life. She felt dead inside. Felt her soul get ripped away. She was also dirty. Helga stayed in that bathroom not knowing what to do. Does the dead still talk to the living? Do they?_

 _She saw her panties ripped apart. She saw the blood on her legs. She had to clean that off._

 _She stumbled out of the stall to quickly clean herself up only halting to catch a glimpse of her face. Hunching over, she began to cry. Why her? No one will believe her. No one ever believed her before when she spoke the truth so this wouldn't be any different. She choked on the saliva building up in her throat. Putting her hair out of her ponytail, Helga didn't want anyone to take a gander of her face fully. She had two classes left. She could do this._

 _Can't she?_

* * *

Helga almost yanked some hair out to remove that memory, but knew it wouldn't of helped. She will be forever unclean. She won't trust another male. How could she?

* * *

 _* Flashback 2*_

 _After a few days, she couldn't take it no more. His smug face each time he observed her. His sick voice filling her ears. She hated him more than anything. He made her a ghost. He killed her inside. So she confronted him. Confronted his smug face in the quad. She yelled in his face drawing in many around her. She didn't care. Girls needed to hear this. The counselor needed to hear, but it seemed after her telling the counselor this she didn't think it was possible. They sided with the guy. Just because they didn't believe her. Helga heard the faculty talking about her and about him while she stayed inside the office. She ran out. Ran out to the buses._

 _They sent security out for her. Helga spotted them going through each bus trying to locate her. Everyone was talking inside her own bus, and she knew it was useless to hide. Helga saw them on her own bus speaking to the driver, and she swiftly took her bag to bring it out front. They made her walk all the way back to the office. It was more shame to endure. Shame because they didn't believe her. Shame to be marched back to have all her peers speak immediately behind her back. She wanted to end her life once and for all._

 _Her mom got her. Thankfully she was sober when she came. In truth, Miriam had been sober for a few years now. Miriam was called from work to get her. She lectured her, and Helga was silent till she finally told her what happened. Miriam didn't know what to say. She was processing the information. Helga wanted to run forever. Leave everyone behind. Move to a deserted island. What will Bob say?_

 _Bob yelled at her. Bob called her a slut, a whore, and does she want to open her legs up to every guy she met. Helga couldn't believe the words coming from his mouth. He never spoke like this to her before making her scream something out before dashing out the door, and going for a very long run. She thought she heard her mother yelling, but it had to be her imagination._

 _It would be 9pm when she came back softly in the house. She didn't want to speak to anyone, but when she saw her father approaching, Helga flinched holding her hands up to halt him from saying anything more horrible. Bob didn't, he grabbed her, and held her tightly against him. He apologized to her. Wished he could take it all back. Helga wished he could too. The words. What happened to her._

 _Bob wanted to know what happened so she explained it all. All the way up to how the school dragged her off like a criminal. Bob listened to every word and he said the sentence that made her cry even more heavily._

 _"You were raped."_

 _Helga collapsed against him as more tears appeared. She was choking, Bob was lifting her up to bring her to her bedroom. He was being a real father to her now. She needed her parents. She needed support._

 _She just hated guys in general._

 _As the days progressed, and she was on suspension, they put her through a whole review. They pelted her with questions all at once. Helga was becoming more frightened over adults, sans her parents. She remembered the song that was playing outside the window that moment. It was a song that will make her relive it all. She knew of this. She hated them for protecting the boy and not protecting her. They believed her to be a harlot._

* * *

Helga wanted to kill herself. She hadn't wrote since then. She stuck by her family.

"Helga?" Phoebe's voice called her gently. Her dearest friend came when she called.

Helga wasn't moving, but she saw her approaching. Saw her sit down next to her. Helga instantly wrapped her arms around her. She guessed she didn't dry out all her tears since she was sobbing uncontrollably against her shoulder.

Phoebe was stunned. She knew Helga was sensitive, but she never seen her like this before. Helga was one of those soft, but strong girls. Someone she can both admire and fear. Oh the fear isn't nothing like anyone would think it was. It was something of hoping she would never harm herself when she got bold.

"Helga, what happened? Please tell me." Phoebe almost cried herself. She wanted to protect her in ways that her own friend protected her. When Helga opened her mouth up, Phoebe's eyes went wider and wider. This wasn't the horror she was imagining. Phoebe moved her hand into her hair. "I'm never leaving you, Helga. I'll be here for you always." She promised.

Helga knew she will be. She always has been. "You are also my family." She whimpered out the truth.

Phoebe was touched with those words. Loved her deeply. "You are mines too." She meant it. She'll do everything for her. She hoped to see that smile again on her face. The smile that lit up her face.

* * *

 **A/N 2: The part in the bathroom, the conference where they pummeled her with questions, the guy acting like he did nothing wrong, the school not believing her, getting pulled off the school bus by security because I ran off, mother lecturing me, and father calling me all those things before settling down, are all me. I have felt dead for the longest time. I was 15 when it happened to me. I spent a long time talking about this. I never hold back in sharing my own experience. It helps to heal when you have people care about you. Helps to heal when you talk about it. Help others.**

 **I chose Helga to write this story. I always loved this character. I think she is a wonderfully complex character in my opinion. I do write mostly in a few other cartoon shows. This is my first Hey Arnold fanfiction story. Please forgive me on heavy content. Also forgive me if I have some grammar mistakes. This is a really hard subject to talk about at times.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I really gotta thank you for the amazing reviews. This is a scary story for me to write. Thanks Everclear for supporting me in doing this. I spotted some of my grammar mistakes in the last chapter, but oh well. You can tell my shaky mind there. Anyhow, thanks bucko's. ;)**

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Helga hardly sleeps. Hardly eats. She does shower to the point where her bones will start to show soon. Phoebe comes to visit her and she knows she doesn't breath a word about her situation. But the phone doesn't stop ringing from people at that school. It was one thing to know about the home line, but her cell phone was another deal. Not even those two "friends" knew her own cell phone.

They want to know about the juicy details of what happened, and she could only slam the phone down. Helga heard the doorbell ring, and soon the sound of her father speaking more loudly made her crawl away from that corner of the room to find that horrible social worker there. She has the worst haircut ever, and speaks with a wavering tone. The lady sees her to try to appeal to her, and it took her father to ask a simple question about marriage and children. She only spoke of divorce. Helga spoke up finally.

"I find it hilarious that you speak of how to improve the quality of life for minors when it is obvious you don't know the first thing." Helga took one step down on the staircase. "I looked it up since you all are dragging my name through the mud. Social workers have this huge divorce rate where all their own children are not living with them." She takes another step down. "I bet your ex doesn't want you to see your own kids because of how you never paid attention to them." Takes another step down. "See it is easy to spout off about right and wrong without the desire to actually practice it yourself." Another step down. "You want to separate me from my family to live in some foster home. Let's talk about the studies there." One more step down. "Many children are unhappy in them because the caregivers don't give a rats ass. It is easy pay to them. Many children end up in a home where the foster parents have their way with them or just hit them." Takes another step down. "Those homes are not properly handled or checked up on."

She sees how impressed her father was appearing, but Helga didn't wish to address him yet as she stops midway down. "I was raped by someone I knew. I wasn't beaten up by my family. Maybe I was a bit neglected early on in my life, but that isn't the case anymore. My parents support me. Love me. Ever since I turned 10, things changed around in here. So before you spout off to a family about their quality of life, maybe you should look at your own first." Turning around, Helga started walking upstairs again. "Now I know my father will take great pleasure in slamming that door in your face."

Hearing a few words from her dad, she almost smiled at the slam of the door. Walking back into her room, she slowly went back to the corner to sit back down. Hiding her head away against her knees, Helga was aware that her father entered to kiss the top of her head.

"You continue to impress me." Bob spoke in a hushed voice.

She wanted to tell him thank you, but all she could do was whimper out. She asked for her phone and when it got placed in her hand, Helga called a special number reaching a very friendly voice. "It's Helga. I really need your help." She broke down crying dropping the phone on the ground.

"Yeah, it's her father. Is there a way you can come to our house? Good. She is in no shape right now to leave the house." Bob stroked her limp hair. "We appreciate it."

Hearing her phone click off, Helga felt her father engulf her in his arms. She felt sorry for him having to try to accommodate himself in this tight space, but he wasn't complaining.

Twenty minutes later, the sound of heels were walking towards her. Helga recognized her perfume so she knew it was safe to look up at her. Dr Bliss was like a second mother to her. Bliss often told her that she thought of her like a daughter. It was a great compliment in her opinion so she didn't bother questioning her.

Dr Bliss sat down at her level so she can rest her back against the wall where the window was. "Oh Helga. Tell me what happened."

Her voice full of love and understanding made it simple for her to share everything that happened. Helga wondered if it was wise to let your face show how horrified they were with the details. Helga had a clue that this wasn't the first rape story she had heard from a patient.

"How long have you been in this corner?"

"Since I came home that night. Haven't slept on my bed at all." Helga coughed a bit from crying so much again.

"Oh? Why is that?"

She glanced at her bed with some hesitance. "I leaned against it to sleep, but when the nightmares came I went to this corner. Been sleeping here ever since."

Dr Bliss was going through something in her head. "It happened against a hard surface, but yet something soft brings it out. Why do you think that is?"

"That's where dreams come more stronger. I remember sleeping on a park bench accidently and I had no dreams. Sleeping on a desk. No dreams. I lay in my bed. Dreams. I know when I mostly dream." Licking her dry lips, Helga adjusted herself to try to get a grip on things inside her head. "I am afraid of closing my eyes. Afraid of guys now."

"That's understandable. Most take a long time to get into a relationship after this has occurred. Most become self destructive in varying ways." Helga loved that she was very caring. Very understanding. "Have you written anything as of late?"

"No. I feel that is on hold for a long time. I don't feel the desire."

"So besides your father, you don't want any male to talk to you because you can't trust them." Dr Bliss summarized.

"Even if the most trustworthy guy came up to me, I will still want to take a wide route around them." Helga told her firmly.

"Even if that person was, Arnold?"

Helga heard that tone in her voice, saw that eyebrow raise at the question. Yes, Arnold is trustworthy still, according to Phoebe, but it made her curl up into herself again. "Even if it was Arnold." Helga took a shuddering breath in while feeling the heat build up inside her. It felt dizzying to her with each time she thought of her old male friends. "He does call from time to time, and I can't take his calls right now." She felt close to passing out. "It feels hot in here."

Moving quickly, Dr Bliss opened the window up wider. "Alright, Helga, is this how you get each time you think of any guy now?" She obviously saw her nod her head. "Lay down on the floor for me, Helga. I want you to take deep cleansing breaths in and out. In and out."

Doing as instructed, Helga felt even more constricted. She took her deep breaths in and out, but felt that guys hands on her. "He's hurting me."

"Helga, he isn't here. It is just us." Dr Bliss reminded her patiently. "You are in a safe environment. Your family loves you. I love you. We will protect you, but you need to protect yourself again."

Helga had a sudden flash of the first day of pre-school and her being greeted by a very innocent Arnold. She wondered why she thought that when he is still a guy. "I want this over with." Tears streaked down the side of her face. "Why did this happen?"

"I don't know, Helga. I just know there are too many bad people wishing harm on good people. We just have to learn that they don't have the power to take over our entire life."

"It hurts so badly. Why me? I just want to live my life without issues. I know this isn't a perfect world, but I want this to end." Helga choked out as her heart was pumping too wildly now.

Dr Bliss's voice sounded alarmed by what she said. "How do you want this to end, Helga?"

"I wanna die!" She cried out flipping herself over to the side. "I already can't take the pain anymore."

There was silence from Dr Bliss till she felt her hand stroking her hair. "Don't give him the power to win, Helga. You are stronger than this. You have gone through so much already. You are a fighter. Remember to fight. One day you'll stand very strong again."

"I'm dead already. I feel like this zombie. I feel like nothing but a shell."

Hearing her phone go off, Helga recognized the music associated to that caller. It was Arnold. Remembering what day it was, she knew it was their weekly call to see how she was. She apologized to him inside her head. She was sorry that some asshole took his friend away. Not only doesn't he have his parents, he lost a friend in a horrible way.

"I know Pheebs hasn't told, Arnold about me. She'll keep it secret since I am the one who has to tell." Helga's voice was so quiet that even she had problems hearing herself. "That was him that called. He always calls on this day to see what's been happening."

"Well that is awfully nice of him. Will you tell him?"

"One day, Doc. One day. For now I don't know what to do. I know I have to eventually go to school, but I fear a panic attack. I fear a teacher will make me partner up with a guy. I fear guys will touch me. Talk to me." Helga felt her hand on her shoulder now.

"The thing I can provide for your school is an order to be made for you never to be partnered up with any guy. They will know about what happened in your old school." Helga groaned at that. Nothing like school records. "I will make sure about getting that social worker off your back. Your family life has greatly improved. It is just what is happening in your personal life."

"Can you kick her ass?"

Bliss gave off a nice chuckle there. "I'm sorry, but I cannot. You are my personal patient and I've known you since you were 9. You are an incredibly bright girl. I just can't share that I think of you as a daughter, or they will think I have favoritism towards you."

"Would there be a possible way to get every class with, Phoebe?" Sitting back up, Helga could only hope there.

She smiles to her. "I can see what I can do."

"Safety in numbers, Doc." Helga felt the need to remind her. Hearing her voicemail ring, she hoped it wasn't one of those clowns from her old school wondering what happened to her.

After Dr Bliss had to part, Helga went over to her phone to pull up her voicemail. Ten were from kids from her old school wondering what happened to her. She deleted those. One was from Phoebe. She'll call her back later. The last one was from Arnold. That one she paused to listen to. Helga got rid of her shrine a while back ago when he went out with, Lila. A relationship that was doomed as soon as it started. Two people with the same personality and same temperament are bound to go down in flames. Or in this case, cotton candy.

Taking a deep breath, she listened to the voicemail. "Hey Helga, it's Arnold. It has been three weeks and I haven't heard from you. I'm very worried about you. I wanted to come over to talk to you, but Phoebe told me it is best to give you some space due to something personal. I would of asked for more, but I know how Phoebe gets with you. She will guard any of your secrets. Look, I just miss my friend, and I want you to know that I'm thinking about you. I'm also sending you my best. You do realize how much you deserve the very best? If you don't then we'll re-educate you. Anyhow, bye for now."

Helga collapsed to the ground as heat went through her body again. When will she get over this sensation?

* * *

 **A/N 2: Man I hated the phone calls that hounded me just to ask what happened. I demanded the phone number to be changed, but my parents refused. Yeah, they may of supported me, but felt those calls would die down. Nope! I had a year of that headache before other headaches appeared.**

 **The Social Worker in this story is based on the real thing. I met my own Dr Bliss further down the road. Much further. I thought it would be nice to bring her in now.**

 **I thought it would be nice to have Bob as part of the main character. My dad turned out to be an amazing support for me in the end. My mom is supportive, but it seemed whenever I was down like that he would treat me in a way that I absolutely needed.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I just want to thank everyone for the reviews and those who are reading this.**

 **Ah yeah, the first day of school was a pain to go back to even if it was to another school.**

* * *

Helga grumbled to herself as she went through her closet for something to place on her for her first day back to a new school. Dr Bliss made the arrangements. Her schedule was the same as Phoebe's. She enlisted other protocols as well. Helga hated this. Didn't want to see people again. Why couldn't she stay home and do school online? Oh right! She has to begin her healing process. Why can't she find that guy and castrate him? That will begin the healing process a bit more faster.

Slipping into jeans and a baggy t-shirt, Helga heard her mom enter her bedroom. Her mother wished her well with a huge hug. Helga wanted to beg for her to stay home, but felt she would object. Telling her she loved her, Helga slipped past her to grab money for lunch, and run out of there to meet up with, Phoebe.

Helga ignored every guy wolf whistling her or attempting at a conversation just to reach her friend's place. Thank goodness for her, Phoebe walked out of her house just as she approached.

"Hello, Helga. How are you right now?"

Helga knew that her friend was apt in her emotions right now. "I don't want to go to school."

Phoebe watched as the bus approached them. "Oh I know, but I'll be with you so let's hope for the best."

"Have you said anything to anyone else about this? I'm still having the hardest issues dealing with the opposite sex." Seeing the bus stop right in front of them and open the doors, Helga had to have Phoebe take her hand to bring her on the bus.

"Just do what, Dr Bliss has told you to do when you feel in that situation. Use those exercises."

Watching her produce her bus pass, Helga soon did the same thing just to turn around to find most of her old classmates looking at her in surprise. Arnold being one of them. Putting her head down, Helga followed Phoebe closely to find a seat so she can sit at the window. No one said hello to her, so Helga was curious if Phoebe told them to not ask her any questions.

"Did you say something to them? I know Arnold would of said hi to me." Helga inquired softly. She was kinda glad that the busses gears were quieting her voice even more so no one else can hear.

"I only hinted that it is best for you to get your bearings until such time to converse will feel qualified to do so. Until such time is reached, you'll let them know when."

Helga felt that was satisfactory enough while she leaned against her shoulder. "What would I ever do without you, Pheebs?"

"Oh, I don't know Helga. Perhaps you would die of boredom without your ever faithful friend by your side." Helga loved her friend way too much at times.

* * *

Helga was getting a migraine from avoiding every guy around. They wanted to talk to her. Hit on her. She got that she was fresh meat to them, but she wanted to stab them to get away from her. Feeling crazy and wanting some sanctity, Helga went inside the library to hide away. Phoebe knew where she was. She always did even without her sending a text.

Breathing heavily in and out at a table, Helga felt a presence in front of her prompting her to want to run away from the gaze of, Rhonda Lloyd. The examination that she was being put under didn't feel the same that would harken to the days of gossip. This was a knowing gaze. Helga wanted to yell at her to leave her be, but was powerless in how she was feeling right now to do so. Rhonda's stare softened as she sat down across from her.

"The cousin that is living with me this year, she had to leave her own school in New York." She began to tell her story. "She left because she couldn't cope. Couldn't breath anymore. She had a hard time being around the opposite sex. She came over with her parents hope that this will help heal her." Rhonda reached out to take her hand. "My cousin was raped, Helga. Raped by a complete stranger as she was walking home. I know you are exhibiting signs right now. I kinda got that hint when, Phoebe mentioned to let you get your barrings in. I saw how you looked on the bus. Seen how she avoided the guys. This includes the boy you have been in love with. You are afraid and it is understandable that you are. I just want to tell you that you aren't alone. There are other victims out there. Some don't have people caring for them. You and my cousin are some of the lucky ones who do."

"I swear if you tell anyone, I will." Rhonda cut her off quickly enough.

Rhonda obviously understood her well enough. "I will not. Just know that you have another friend who does. Maybe it would do you good to meet with my cousin one day. She doesn't go to this school. She goes to a Catholic school instead. She went to one in New York so they don't want to divert her studies."

"Did they believe her?" Helga spotted out of the corner of her eye that Phoebe entered. "They didn't believe me. They pulled me off the bus with security and now I get harassed."

Rhonda gasped at that. "They believed her. She was lucky there. She wasn't lucky that he beat her up in the process landing her in the hospital." It looked like she was clamping her eyelids closed very hard. "I'm sorry that this happened to you. You have always been one of the strongest girls that I've known. I may of said things when we were in the same school, but I did admire you."

Accepting a sushi roll from, Phoebe, Helga enjoyed the taste of a home meal. "Thanks, Princess. Never thought I would hear those words."

"Are you putting this on trial? If so, I have a number to a great lawyer."

Even when it is a legal matter, Rhonda will pretend she studying a masterful Vera Wang or Nancy Spumoni in her presence. "I'll think about it. As it is, the school members sided quickly with the guy, and attacked me full force. It is bad to the point that I don't sleep on my bed."

"Why on Earth, not?"

"The nightmares come more heavily when I'm on my bed or just leaning against it. It is safer this way." Hearing the door open and close, Helga spotted Arnold coming in to return a book. His eyes captured her own, and feeling that dizzying heat course through her body, she looked quickly away to take some cleansing breaths.

"He really misses you. He said that he misses his Helga around. His! He actually said that. I knew that boys soft spot for you." Helga had to stop her from speaking any more. "Sorry. I just thought it would be nice for you to hear."

Helga flashed her a look that almost appeared like a smile from her eyes. "I appreciate it, but right now I can't think about that."

The conversation seemed to die down at that point leading Helga to just stew away. She felt there was a need to say something to, Rhonda. She should know. Hated her to know at the same time. Closing her eyes, Helga had to think of something to get her mind off of him. She felt the heat well up inside her to the point of getting nauseous. She couldn't breath as she felt the constrictions once more inside. She felt something cold press against her forehead, leading to some cool.

Rhonda's eyes blinked at what was happening to, Helga. She looked around furiously to see if they were the only girls in the library. They weren't the only people since Arnold was in the biography section. He was pausing with a look of worry pressed across his features. "What do we do?" Rhonda asked, Phoebe in a hushed voice.

"Take some deep cleansing breaths in and out, Helga. I'm here. Rhonda is here. You are safe with us. Remember that you are strong." Phoebe whispered into Helga's ear. "Remember everything that your doctor said. We aren't leaving you."

Her headache was turning into a migraine. Helga felt fresh pain in her back in the exact area she was slammed against the wall. She wanted to listen to Phoebe, but couldn't. She felt the pain down there as if it was happening all over again leading her to scream out. She landed on the ground to her knees feeling, Phoebe's arms surround her. She faintly heard the librarian ask if she needed help. Yes, she needed all the help she can get, lady.

Rhonda shook her head to warn, Arnold not to come any closer. His eyes were filled with worry. Rhonda saw his eyes glistening a little. She knew he had it bad for, Helga, but this was really bad. His empathy for the girl he cared about was in pain, and he was warned not to get near her.

"Do you have anything cold to place on her? She's burning up." Phoebe inquired of the librarian.

"None. You'll have to go to the nurses office for that." The librarian was chewing at her nails in worry over the young girl before her.

"He's touching me." Helga spoke low enough only for Phoebe and Rhonda to hear.

Rhonda got on the ground to her knees, she looked to her companion. Helga was indeed burning up right now. "We have to go to the nurses office now." She told Phoebe. "Helga, we need you to get up. We need to take you to the nurses office."

"Dr Bliss. I need her." Helga took her phone out of her pocket to hand to Phoebe. "She's number 7 in my directory."

Grabbing her phone, Phoebe continued to rub her back to help calm her as she went through the directory. "Greetings, my name is Phoebe Heyerdahl. Oh you know me. Yes, Helga is having a breakdown at school. Yes, we are taking her to the nurses office now." Sparing a glance to, Arnold, she tried to offer a reassuring smile, but it felt like mud slapped on her face. "Thank you very much. We'll see you soon." Hanging up, Phoebe scooted over to lift Helga's head up by her chin. "Helga, look at me. Dr Bliss will be here soon. She'll meet you in the office. Please get up for us."

Helga nodded dumbly as she slowly got up and stumbled towards Rhonda. "Sorry."

Rhonda just placed her arm around her waist to steady her. "Don't apologize. Let's get you to the nurses office now."

Arnold watched the whole ordeal. He always hated just standing by and doing nothing. Helga is in pain. She's so afraid. What did happen to her? He had a vague idea, but he couldn't go running off a hunch. She was always such a strong person. She always seemed like nothing could defeat her, but apparently something reached the seemingly indestructible force.

* * *

In his English class, Arnold saw that Phoebe was in her seat in the back. He spotted the worry etched throughout her delicate face. He kept tapping his finger against his book to the teachers annoyance. All he could think about was, Helga. How she looked in the library chilled him to the bone. He prayed for her to get better from whatever happened to her. He also wanted to embrace her. Kiss her temple.

He loved her. It was very simple how he ended up knowing how he came to this feeling. It was during his short time with, Lila. He thought she would of mocked him for going out with her, but she told him simply that he had to get it out of his system. Arnold loved how insightful she would be. How well her words would either heal him or wound him. The wound would be quickly healed though. It was a way of her pushing him in the right direction. A direction that he knew he did good just by that prideful look in her eyes. Man, he loved those eyes.

When he went out with Lila, she was the one who pointed out that life wasn't the same without Helga always around. She pointed out that the group always needed him or her around. Lila felt like she would become a distant memory. She knew she wasn't exciting or thought provoking like, Helga. She also knew about his feelings for the blonde. She made a clear note of it during their quiet break up. When Lila left to visit relatives for a month, no one noticed her absence. When Helga was gone for just a day or two. Her absence was always clearly shown. Even though she calmed down, Helga still had that power within her to make statues come alive.

Hearing the door open, Arnold glanced up to watch Helga come in to hand a note to the teacher. The teacher only said a few words to her before she quietly took her seat. Arnold spotted the tear stained cheeks. Spotted how nervous she is. Arnold wanted to hit whomever was responsible for doing this to her. This was his girl after all. It was odd to take something of ownership of a human being, but he always felt that she was his, and his alone.

Helga kept her hands clasped between her legs to keep the shakiness of them showing. She felt on her last nerve. She could literally hear him laughing in her head.

Feeling someone's eyes upon her, Helga looked up to catch, Gerald looking between her and Phoebe. She guessed that he wanted to sit next to, Phoebe. She felt the guilt there knowing his feelings for her best friend. He did looked concerned at her. It felt strange that he would feel concern for her. He always acted like he hated her, but only tolerated her for, Arnold and Phoebe's sake.

Helga could do only one thing for now. She mouthed out to him, 'I'm sorry.'

Gerald placed the tiniest of smiles on his face to mouth back, 'It's okay.'

Gerald turned back around to pretend he was paying attention to the teacher, but all he could think about was one thing: Rape.  
With his brother now a police officer, and him talking about a few victims he had encountered. Gerald heard about the signs. He just never known anyone personally who was raped. Helga was scared of every guy she saw, so it was understandable she was acting this way. He also understood that she had to say something, not be confronted. He'll keep his thoughts to himself till then. Also, he will help her out privately in case no guy takes the hint to stay away from her.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thanks for the support.**

* * *

The week was over with and what a slow week it was. Helga hid out inside her home while, Phoebe or Rhonda visited at different times. On that day she received something in the mail spotting that, Arnold sent her something. Seeing the warning not to bend it due to its fragile nature, Helga opened it up to satisfy the cat in her. Inside was a CD and a letter.

 _Dear Helga,_

 _I made this for you in hopes to bring you a smile. I know your music tastes seem to vary. I'm glad of it, but it makes me work extra hard to find other songs that I think you'll enjoy. I wrote the list down in the insert._

 _I will never make you tell me what is going on. I will sit here patiently until you are ready to. I'm hugging you mentally inside my head._

 _Love,_

 _Arnold_

"Love?" It was strange for her to see those words from him right now when before she would of placed this letter close to her heart, and whirl around. First, Rhonda told her that he calls her, 'His Helga,' and now this. Does his feelings run a little more deeper? Will she truly appreciate them again? She hoped so, but she felt that by then, he'll forget all about her. Well if he did, that just means he never did.

Making her way to her bedroom, Helga opened up the disc to place it in her player, and glanced at the list with something mysterious at the end. Hearing a Dino Spumoni song play first, Helga went to the window to sit down against the wall. She let each music selection play. Most was beautiful. Most had meaning, but the one at the end was him speaking to her.

"Hi, Helga. This is a song that I wrote myself dedicated to you, and sung by me." Arnold said almost nervously.

She heard him strumming a guitar, and she felt a smile play up on her lips. It was a song about beauty. A song about hope for love that will never die. A song that had empowerment behind it. It was poetic, and for once she didn't break down in fear. She raised herself up to cross her room to sit in front of her player. She imagined how he looked when he played. Helga knew how his handsome features always appeared when he was at peace. Besides what her family and her two friends were doing with her, Helga decided to place the song on repeat. Standing up, Helga went to her bed to test something out. She laid down on her bed for the first time in a whole month.

Maybe she won't have a nightmare.

At the Sunset Arms, Arnold hoped she enjoyed the disc he sent her. Hoped in some small way that it will help.

* * *

By Monday, it was strange to see all the girls from the old crew were around her. Helga knew they didn't know. They might of figured it out on their own, but in truth, it felt nice to feel like she had a troop around her. She felt a little safer with them around, and when she needed to head to the bathroom during class, Helga would text someone to come join her. There was no way she wanted to chance another encounter such as that.

On Tuesday, a jock came up to her as she was at the locker. Helga did her best to ignore him. Then she informed him she wasn't interested. When he persisted, and wouldn't listen to Phoebe to go away, Gerald stepped in to ask a lame question about Football. Helga had a strange clue with Gerald's look, that he had a feeling about her. Still, it was really good he did that. He was the second male from the old crew she felt she could trust.

On Wednesday, every girl in the crew, sans Sheena, were walking from the side entrance to make their way to their lockers. Helga was in between, Rhonda and Phoebe, while the remaining girls were behind them. It felt still nice with this safety. Helga spotted the guys observing them from the side. She also spotted Sheena leaning against the locker giggling away at a male flirting with her. Helga stopped from walking any further as her heart slammed into her throat. She had to swallow hard. It was him. What is he doing here?

"Sheena! Step away from him." Helga ordered firmly. Her eyes enflamed, Helga watched as her attacker slowly turned to look at her. His smug face while they looked at one another. Her fear was there, but her anger even more so. Sheena sensing the impending danger, went to her side.

The male's face smirked at, Helga. "I already had you. I don't do repeats."

Everyone in the hallway stopped everything just to watch the showdown. Helga didn't care. She'll protect other girls from him. No one may of not believed her, but it won't stop her from stopping him. "How dare you come here." She hissed out while her fists clenched. "If you are coming to this school, I will make sure you get transferred."

Letting out a huge expanse of air while chuckling, he shook his head while stepping closer. "Just dropped off someone, but maybe I'll come here. Maybe I'll decide on a repeat after all."

Helga's eyes went wide before pushing him away from her. "How dare you." Her body was on fire. That memory becoming as fresh as can be all over again. Every bit of horror. "YOU RAPED ME!" She screamed out so loud that teachers were showing up. "YOU RAPED ME YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!"

Helga didn't see him move, he was that fast when he slammed her hard against the locker. Helga felt blackness start to fold over her eyes as he slammed her again. His laughter was heard before she saw a flash of blonde appear, and a fist appear connecting to her attacker's face. Helga made out that it was, Arnold. Sweet, peace maker, Arnold. She didn't know he could punch. Helga watched the scene unfold. Saw everyone staring at her more than the downed asshole. Helga felt a repeat of that day happening again. So she did the only thing she could only think of: She ran.

Arnold heard Helga's name called out by Phoebe. He turned around to spot, Helga running out the door. Taking one final look at the monster below him, Arnold ran after, Helga.

Tears were flowing down her face while she continued to run. She was unaware of anyone following her, she just had a mission to get as far from there as possible. She hated him. Feeling raindrops pelt her, Helga wondered if Mother Nature was trying to help shield away her tears. She didn't care if she got wet. She just cared to be far away from those that wish her harm, but things did wish her harm when she tripped and fell to the ground. She choked. She was breathing hard. Hearing rushed footsteps behind her, Helga went on her rear to scamper away from whomever was rushing her. She wanted to run, but all she could do was inch away as fast as possible by going backwards on her hands and feet.

"Helga!" Arnold stopped just short of her to see nothing but fear written all over her. "It's Arnold."

Stopping, Helga considered him as the rain beat down on them harder. She thought to get up till his hand reached out for her to take, but to her it was something else making her squeak, and scamper away from him.

"Helga, please. You know I would never hurt you." He needed to keep speaking to her softly. She looked like that scared and unhappy 3 year old again.

Helga got on her feet, and without a word, she ran away from him. She's too dirty to be in his presence anymore. She's unworthy. Helga continued running till a pair of hands held her firmly on her forearms. Helga screamed at the violation. She heard footsteps rushing up to her till they stopped. "No, don't hurt me. Don't hurt me." She repeated frantically.

"Shh, poor child. It's Gertie. Arnold's grandma." Gertie didn't understand fully what was happening to the poor girl, she just spotted her running with her grandson tailing behind her.

Helga heard her voice. Heard the sweetness behind it. Helga calmed a bit to launch herself at her with her arms wrapping around for dear life.

Arnold frowned. To hear her scream to that demon about what happened to her was something he hated to hear. Of course she won't be accepting a guys help when a guy was responsible for her pain. Moving past them, Arnold spotted the love and concern in his grandmother's eyes telling them they should get dry. Heading quickly up the steps, Arnold opened the door to watch his grandmother guide her in.

"Arnold, why don't you be a dear and put some clothes in the bathroom for her so she can dry up and change." Gertie instructed. Watching him nod his head, Gertie pulled back a bit to place a gentle hand under Helga's chin to lift it up. "Let's get you upstairs so you can dry off. Arnold will give you some clothes you can borrow, and we shall dry up your own clothes."

Helga nodded dumbly as she was guided upstairs. Walking down the hallway, she saw Arnold come out of the bathroom to inform her about a fresh towel for her and clothes. Helga could only nod. Hearing the question about hot chocolate, Helga nodded her answer once again before heading into the room.

Feeling his hand getting squeezed, Arnold tried to smile at his grandmother, but he knew it looked like a tangled mess. Turning on his heel, he headed back up to his room leaving the door open, and grabbing his guitar.

Removing her clothes, Helga dried off, and slowly put on the fresh clothes. She almost smiled at the fresh scent. She smiled at the somewhat old red plaid shirt. Was this his old plaid shirt? No, it couldn't, she wouldn't be able to fit into it. Stepping out of the bathroom with her clothes, Helga heard the sound of a guitar playing in his room. She should tell him how sorry she was for acting the way she did.

Slowly she went up the stairs to hear him singing softly. He really did have a pleasant voice. Making herself known, she saw him look up to her. "Uh, I'm."

Arnold stopped her from apologizing. Getting up, he went up to her to hold out his hands. "Don't apologize to me. There isn't any need to do that. I can take your clothes down to the dryer. Do you want to stay up here or go down?"

Taking a very large breath, Helga answered knowing she had to begin somewheres with a guy. "I can stay here. I'll look through your skylight. You know if it isn't too much trouble."

"Helga, don't think that way. You will never be too much trouble. Make yourself comfortable."

Helga watched him head down the stairs quickly leaving her to figure out where to rest.

Leaving the basement, Arnold went into the kitchen to get the hot chocolate. "She's staying up there."

"What happened to the poor dear?" Gertie wondered nicely as she placed the hot chocolate and a couple of sandwiches on a tray.

Arnold had a feeling the whole town of Hillwood will know by now. "She was raped, Grandma. The guy was inside our school hitting on, Sheena. Helga came in and confronted him while sparing, Sheena. She yelled it out in the middle of the hallway and he slammed her against the lockers."

"Oh my." Gertie was shocked.

"Don't be surprised if you get a phone call from school about me. I punched him out as soon as he did that, and I chased after her."

Taking a few steps towards her brave, Kimba, Gertie touched his cheek. "You did good, Mr President. I suggest you get this to Eleanor as soon as possible."

Lifting the tray up, Arnold leaned down to kiss her on the cheek. "I will. Thanks."

Gertie was sickened at what others do to innocent people.

Coming back upstairs, Arnold saw she was laying out on the floor looking up. "I have hot chocolate and sandwiches."

Sitting up, Helga sat cross legged while he placed the tray between her and himself. She took the mug first to enjoy the warmth against her hands. Taking in the aroma, she didn't want to drink it just yet. "I can imagine what the school is thinking." She listened to the pitter patter of the rain hitting the glass above them. "I'm afraid of all males except for my dad."

Arnold watched as she took a sip of her liquid. "Would you be more comfortable on the couch?"

"I've been sleeping on the floor ever since this happened, Arnold. It is the only place where the nightmares don't happen." Placing the mug down, she grabbed the sandwich to pick bits of it to place in her mouth. "Took one pregnancy test and it is showing negative at least. My mom bought an extra one to use just in case I miss my monthly. I hope I'm really not pregnant."

"Do you mind telling me what happened. If not, I won't push you." Arnold wished he knew what to do. This isn't as simple as handling a simple scrabble. This was one of those heavy subject matters.

Swallowing her food, Helga told him everything from that day on. She wasn't bothering to look at his face since she knew it would be the same as anyone else's. When she finished, a tear dropped from her eyes. "Now that the school knows what happened to me, I guess I will be getting more phone calls."

"I can't believe they treat you like a criminal."

"Yeah well I guess that having a vagina qualifies for me to be one in their books." Who cared if that sounded cruel, it felt like the truth.

"I wish I was there for you."

"Same with my parents. Same with, Dr Bliss. Same with, Phoebe and Rhonda. I'm afraid of bathrooms now. How lovely is that? One of the girls have to accompany me." Placing her sandwich down and taking a sip of her drink, Helga placed that down as well to bring her knees up to her chest. "I'm dirty now. I'm disgusting. I take the longest hottest shower in the world, and I'm still nasty feeling. The only ones who will truly understand is another victim."

"I knew you were suffering, but I didn't know how bad it was. Helga, I'm there for you too."

"Yeah? But for how long till you tire of me?" Placing her head down on her knees, she felt her damp hair become a curtain.

Moving in front of her, but keeping in mind to keep a distance so as not to spook her, Arnold wanted her to listen. "I will never tire from you. You were the first person my age that I met, and I have a feeling you will be the last. You've always been special to me. I always felt a connection to you even in my denial when we were younger. I hated to hear that you had to leave to another school. I missed you. Why do you think I wanted those weekly calls. I needed my Helga fix."

Half of her mouth quirked up listening to that last sentence. "Your Helga fix? I didn't think I was your drug."

"You are the only drug I will take happily." Hearing her sniffle, Arnold got up quickly to grab the box of tissues to place next to her before he sat down. "Did you get the disc?"

"Yes. You really are a good singer, Arnold. Thanks. I put it on repeat and did something I hadn't done for a while. I laid down on my bed without a nightmare." Taking a tissue to blow her nose, Helga made a face at the noise she caused.

"Perhaps I'm your drug of choice." He spoke with hope.

"You always were." She wanted to ask him something. "So the love part. What do you mean?"

"Simple and also beautifully complex like yourself. I'm in love with you." Arnold confessed. "Have been for a while."

Grabbing the sandwich to at least have something in her hands, Helga had to be honest to him. "I still feel the same way about you, but with this situation that has happened to me." Her heart thumped against her rib cage hard. "It will be a long time before I will even be in a relationship, Arnold. I have such a long road ahead of me. It has been my dream for so long to hear those words from your mouth, but now with this, I can't let you wait."

Arnold took a chance to move a bit closer to her. "Helga you are worth the wait to me."

Putting her sandwich down, Helga got up on her feet instantly. "I'm tainted, Arnold! I'm disgusting and gross, and I can't ask you to wait. I won't. I appreciate what you are saying, but."

Staying where he was, he had to put it through her head somehow. "But nothing, Helga. I'm waiting for you. Right now I'm your friend first and foremost. You are still my dream girl. You are not disgusting or gross. A horrible crime happened to someone so beautiful. A crime that I wish I could of done more than just punch that ass. I would do more to make you happy."

"But Arnold, it isn't fair for you to wait. You have so much to offer."

"So do you." Standing up, Arnold would turn back time for her. He would head off that creep from doing this. He wanted to see her smiling again. "I know we are still so young, but I already know what I want. I'm with my Cecille. The girl that I fell in love with."

"When did you figure out it was me?"

"Fifth grade. You repeated something you said to me back at the restaurant. The sound of your voice. The way your eyes were so earnest towards me. It snapped into my head."

Taking a chance, she quickly hit him in the arm lightly. "And yet you still wanted little Ms Perfect." She mocked softly.

"Now didn't I tell you that she asked me out? She did and I did it to get it out of the way. Kissing my dirty socks would be more passionate than her."

Helga couldn't believed she laughed lightly at that comparison. "I guess you can't complain about Deep Voice's kiss then."

Arnold grinned at that. "Man, I wish I wasn't in shock from that confession or kiss because I regret so much in not returning that kiss now." Lifting up his remote, he went to a track that he memorized by heart to play it. "This song reminds me of you on that day. I knew you were passionate, but I didn't think it reached that point. You know how lucky any guy is for a girl to be like that towards them?"

"Well it does sound a bit too obsessive if you ask me. I mean come on! Shrines and poetry after poetry over just one person would frighten anyone."

Arnold heard the passion in that statement just now. "Uh, I do have my confession. Not only have I written that song for you, I have far more than that. This includes the very brief time I went out with, Lila. The girl with silky blonde hair, pouty lips, the bluest largest eyes I have ever witnessed, and the greatest vocal cords ever, deserved the complete dedication. Also you have a mean right hand when pitching a ball."

Helga watched as he tapped his foot in time with the music. He did look cute like this. "I guess I'll be playing your song tonight. Maybe I can get a nightmare free sleep."

"I still have your pink poetry book. I read it all the time."

She needed to speak to, Dr Bliss about him. About people knowing about her secret now. But mostly about him. Man, her 16th birthday will be depressing. Hearing her cell go off, she looked at the screen to find it was her father calling. Bringing it up to her ear, she was happy that Arnold shut the music off immediately. She told him what happened at school. Told him about running out of there. Told him about Arnold decking the ass out. Told him where she was right then.

Arnold listened to her speaking to Bob. He heard it from her voice how things have changed between them, and to hear it now made him smile just a little. She needed this kinder understanding father instead of the neglectful one. His daughter is so special.

"Alright dad, I'll wait for mom to pick me up at 4 to bring me home. I love you too." Helga sniffed as she hung up the phone.

"You can stay as long as you want here. No one will kick you out."

"Thanks Football Head."

Arnold loved and missed her calling him that. Walking over to his guitar, he grabbed it to place it in her hands. "I know you don't play, but I want you to play it however you want."

"Oh so I can play like shit. Good stuff." Helga positioned the instrument to begin playing it like a crazy fool. It felt nice to expend her energy in that way.

Arnold watched her act like someone from a heavy metal band as she ran her fingers against the cords in a haphazard way while making her head bop up and down almost violently. She made the act look so adorable.

* * *

 **A/N: After I transferred schools I didn't know anyone. I made one friends slowly, but I met this guy that was like Arnold. He was a senior and just a couple years older. He was very kind and patient with me. He was trustworthy. When I met him I saw someone I can trust. I miss that guy. His parents divorced and he had to be forced to move so quickly that I wasn't able to get his information on how to contact him. I always hoped that he is doing well.**

 **Each chapter leaves me so raw after I post it. I had to wait to post again. Normally I'm an avid updater.**


	5. Chapter 5

_Tick tock_

 _Is it really that time to face the music?_

 _Tick Tock_

 _Is there a way I can stray away?_

 _Tick Tock_

 _The feeling of me knowing I'm clothed, but feeling naked to the world._

 _Tick Tock_

 _My skin is now laying bared for all to see._

 _Tick Tock_

 _Is this the way it is always supposed to be?_

 _Tick Tock_

 _The strangeness of how I wish to naught._

 _Tick Tock_

 _My nerves are all jumbled up._

 _Tick Tock_

I _t is time to stand up for myself._

 _Tick Tock_

 _For others._

Helga opened her eyes up during her drive to school. Phoebe sat beside her in the backseat of her parents car. Helga couldn't and wouldn't take the bus today. She was running a bit behind, but not enough to be late. Phoebe didn't push things. Didn't ask what happened after she ran from school with Arnold trailing behind. Helga knew Phoebe will be patient as ever to know the answer to something so unspoken. Hearing Reba tell them to have a good day, Helga left the car slowly behind Phoebe. Kids were looking at her. Helga felt like a spotlight was all over her.

Phoebe took her wrist to lead her in. Helga walked very slowly as she narrowly avoided some guy from accidently running into her. She heard him issue a quick apology, and she couldn't tell him anything. Her tongue was caught in her throat. Helga also noticed how Phoebe led her away from the main entrance to go around the side. There she spotted all of the PS118 gang waiting for her. Helga's eyes went wider even as she gave Arnold a questioning glance.

"Helga, we all spoke about this last night, and we all know how much you need your old friends to be more beside you than before." Phoebe announced. "I know more than any how you hate to be handled in such a way, and I respect that, but in order for us to see that strong Helga that we all know. We are here for you always."

Helga hated being babied, but even she knew she needed this now. "They'll get tired of me. This is not an easy thing to handle." Helga refused to burden people.

"Helga, you were a pain in the past with the bullying, but even we have to admit that you were there for us." Gerald decided to butt in his two cents. "More for Arnold because even I know the past good deeds you have done for my main man, and Phoebe." Smiling at her with the utmost sincerity, he continued. "I figured what happened to you when I studied you closely. My brother has to help out victims, and my heart goes out to them. No one deserves this. Not even you."

"Yeah! When that guy did that to you we all wanted to jump him. To see Arnold fly in the way that he did to lay him down made us cheer and boo that guy." Sid told her.

"What happened to him after we left?" Helga was curious to know.

"Oh this is the interesting part. It is just as amazing as when I free the animals. Everyone chased that bastard out. The teachers forced him to leave. If you were there they mentioned that they'll need more security around." Curly answered. "I really don't know why they didn't call the cops. They did see you get assaulted by him."

Sheena came forward to take her hand. "I'm sorry for what happened to you, Helga, but I'm glad you came when you did. I almost said yes to him."

Feeling moisture build up in her eyes, Helga hugged her. Something good came out of that, she saved a friend from the same horror she went through. "I'm glad you're safe." Watching Arnold smile a bit more to her, Helga moved away from Sheena to approach him. "I want to hug you one day for what you done for me."

"You know it's a raincheck already." Pulling out a handkerchief, he whispered. "I love you."

Accepting the handkerchief, she wasn't surprised by the old fashioned gesture from him. "Love you."

"Are you ready to go in there?" He moved back to head to the door.

"No, but I know you guys will insist." Stepping up next to him, Helga saw everyone gathering around as she stepped through the doorway with Arnold on one side, and Phoebe to the other side. The moment they all were in, everyone in the hallway stopped to study her. "Am I naked?" She whispered.

"No, Helga, I can guarantee you that you most positively not." Phoebe responded as she took her hand.

As Helga walked along towards their lockers she heard random females congratulating her on her bravery. Another girl came up to her to say thanks for informing them since she agreed on a date with him thus canceling it after, Helga admitted to something so private.

"Nothing to be scared about. You helped them, Helga." Arnold whispered near her ear.

"Well soon all the girls will be flocking over to the guy who defended the girls honor." Helga soon spotted a girl wishing her luck while handing Arnold her number. "Told ya."

Taking the number, Arnold shredded it up. "Not interested." He was still young at 16 himself, but he was set in his plans.

"What did I tell you?" Reaching the area where their lockers were, Helga began to play with her combination lock.

"What did I tell you? Helga, I will wait forever for you."

Wanting to respond to that, she got her locker open to find nothing but notes falling down to the ground. "Crimeny. What the heck?"

Moving to the ground beside her, Arnold helped her gather the notes up only looking at a few. Most were about encouragement so far. Helga placed most on the side of her locker as she looked keenly up at, Arnold. She didn't think as she went to hug him. She guessed she managed to hug him ahead of schedule.

Phoebe watched her best friend go to hug, Arnold. A little progress was better than none in her opinion.

During the day, Helga would take a few notes at a time to read in class. They were mostly small in retrospect, but it gave her more hope. She couldn't believe the support she was receiving. She would have to show this to her parents. Only one note was longer than the rest so she kept that one aside to read for later. During lunch, she joined the crew sitting between Arnold and Phoebe. Hearing Phoebe whisper that Arnold also got a bunch of notes, Helga guessed they were from girls.

"Fan letters from the admiring public?" Helga teased him while snagging a note from his hand.

Arnold didn't care since it was the same thing from each girl. It was nice and all, but he wasn't truly interested as he took the note back from Helga, and tore it up. "Don't make me repeat what I already told you."

"Fine bucko, but you may regret your decision later." She already was meeting Dr Bliss after school to discuss things in her office today. She'll show her some of what she received in her locker. She had a feeling that it will be a positive from Bliss.

"Still not regretting it." Leaning into her ear, he whispered, "Have I told you about this amazing hug I got in the morning?"

Helga felt her cheeks grow red while she slowly ate her tapioca pudding. "Uh no, tell me about it."

"It was from this girl that I'm crazy about and I hope I receive another someday. She's incredibly special."

Helga felt strange to feel what she was going through right now. Is it wrong to have these feelings right now? She'll need to discuss this later with Bliss.

"Am I making you uncomfortable?" Arnold wondered if he overstepped his bounds with her. "I don't want to do that."

Helga needed to look him directly in the eyes. Needed to let him know that he wasn't doing no such thing. "Arnold, I trust you. You aren't making me uncomfortable. It is me that is making myself uncomfortable. I don't know how to feel about some things." Placing her hand on his, she had this strange urge to kiss him, but thought it was way too soon. "I'll fully explain myself when I get the answers today. Well at least I hope so since she is a shrink and all. I don't know, how do you think you should feel? That question always bugs me."

Chuckling, Arnold's desire to kiss her was so strong, but once again he didn't want to frighten her. "I understand. We are all here for you."

"I hate being treated with kid gloves, but I honestly do appreciate it."

After school she went immediately over to Dr Bliss's office. Stepping into the office felt like safety to her as she was immediately brought in. Choosing to sit down on the couch, Helga began to take some of the notes from her book bag to show her. They were the ones she already read so she wanted to share them. She watched at, Dr Bliss's smile grew a bit more after each note was placed aside before handing them back.

"All this because you stood up against him. Shared with the whole school what kind of person this was. I find that to be an excellent progress to your recovery." Dr Bliss stated calmy, but happily. "How do you feel about this?"

"Well once I saw a few notes I hugged Arnold."

Dr Bliss's eyes widened as she made a note of that. "You've always trusted him so it is clear that you would initiate the hug. Anything else you would like to share?"

"He shared with me how he feels about me yesterday. Like me, with all the poems I have written for him, he has written songs dedicated to me." She blushes. "I told him it will be a long time before I feel that he could have anything more with me. I didn't want him to waste his time."

"Why do you think it would be a waste of time?"

"Because what if I'm forty and that is when I want that relationship finally. He still told me he is willing to wait. I don't think it is fair."

"Helga, that is what you call; Selfless. Anyone else who claim that they love can demand the other to wait for them. It is the selfless ones who know about how to love." Bliss pointed out while standing up to cross the room to sit down next to her. "Arnold is selfless with you to want you well. To be patient for you. I've met with him before when it came to losing his parents. He is more adult, with the exception of you, than anyone else that I've met. I won't divulge everything about what he shared with me, but I will tell you a bit. Arnold holds you up on this pedestal. He knows your strengths and weaknesses, and he is blessed to have you beside him."

Heart thumping hard all over again, Helga was shocked. "He-he did?"

"Why are you so shocked? Besides what has happened to you recently, do you really think so little of yourself?" Dr Bliss did know the answer to that question, she just wanted her to clarify just in case she added something to it.

"I will do anything for him. I wanted him to have a great Christmas. I wanted him to have the float that he designed. I wanted to help him save the neighborhood. I wanted to be by his side when he found out about his parents. He would always call up to say he needed me, and I would come. As much as I wasn't a fan of, Lila, I still let him go out with her. I already knew that deep down it wouldn't last. I had nothing to worry about, but at the same time I knew I had to lessen my obsessive hold of him. I finally figured out that if he is truly meant to be with me, he'll come on his own accord." Helga stopped herself to look over to find a very sneaky smile playing up on, Bliss's face. "Oh I saw what you did there."

Getting back up, Bliss had such a playful tone to her voice. "Whatever do you mean?"

Crossing her arms over her chest, Helga could only shake her head softly. "Never mind. Right now I just want to try to keep moving forward, but I have one thought on my mind."

"What is that?"

Rubbing her hands together, Helga chewed the inside of her mouth before she responded back very nervously. "I had this urge to kiss him today. Is it too soon for anything like that?"

"It is understandable that you trust him and feel these strong emotions for him. The urge to kiss isn't a strange thing if that is what you wish to do. When it happens, it will be you that I know will initiate it. I can see that Arnold wouldn't push it past that."

"Also, all my old friends have decided to surround me. They walked in with me into the school." Pulling the letter out that was still in its envelope, she just felt the urge to touch something besides placing a killer grip on her left hand. "I hate being treated like a baby, but this time I really didn't mind."

"It is good when your friends support you. You are still one of the lucky ones." Seeing the envelope, Bliss pointed to it with her manured finger. "What is that?"

"I don't know. I know it is a larger letter, but other than that, I have no clue." Perhaps it is best if she did read it now since if it was someone threatening her, at least she had Bliss here for her. Opening it up, Helga began to read it.

 _Helga,_

 _I may not be like Arnold, but I know I'm devoted if even more than that._  
 _I loved you from the beginning with how you can always express yourself._  
 _I knew your personality more than anyone before Phoebe became your best friend._  
 _I loved sneaking up to you to capture you in mid prose._  
 _The way your eyes lit up and your heart was so easily heard._  
 _He's lucky to have your devotion and I confess how I feel devoted to you._  
 _I'll be around to help protect you, and I will not sneak up to you since it is something you don't need._  
 _You love Arnold just like he loves you._  
 _I saw that hug in the hallway, and I'm glad you trusted another to do it._  
 _Please know that my never ending love for you will always grow._  
 _You are strength._  
 _You are love._  
 _I knew you were the most sweetest girl in the world._  
 _The most creative._  
 _Just know that I never minded the punches you landed on me._  
 _It was attention._  
 _Sometimes it helped clean up the sinus's._  
 _I still remember when you kissed my cheek in the 4th grade._  
 _I went to bed thinking about it._  
 _I'm here for you. This I always promise you._

 _Never ending love and devotion,_  
 _Brainy_

"That was awfully sweet of him to say." Bliss smiled at the letter as she tapped her pencil against her finger. "He never hated you for all those punches. I really should of spoke to him about all of that."

"Yep! You should of asked him before I was hauled in here to speak to you about my behavior." Helga told her in mock condensation before becoming serious. "Really though, I'm glad I did it in the end. It became worth it after all these years." Helga ended up with a therapist that she trusted. That she loved. Someone she even considered a friend.

"I'm happy too." Bliss studied her patient whom she never could stop thinking as an younger version of herself. "What will you do for your sixteenth birthday?"

"Quiet dinner, if you can call it quiet with Olga squealing around. I'm fine with her now. At times. She does know what happened to me so I hope she doesn't break down crying again. I don't need that."

"No you don't." Closing her notebook, Dr Bliss rose up from her chair. "Well Helga that is the end of this session. Will there be anyone taking you home?"

"Football Head offered. I already told my dad." Getting up, Helga went up to her for a hug. "Thanks Doc."

"Oh that is really no problem, Helga. I'm glad to be here for you."

Pulling away from her, Helga left her office just giving a casual wave at the receptionist. Leaving the office all together, Helga went down the stairs to find, Arnold patiently waiting. Reaching his side, she boldly took his hand in hers. "Do you mind?"

"Never." Squeezing her hand lightly, Arnold and her waited for the bus to arrive. "Good session?"

"Yes. She's happy with some of the things with the positives of what happened. I even showed her some of the notes. The letter was from Brainy."

"Oh." Was it wrong of him to feel jealous about that? Brainy told him how he felt about her a year back, and while he was acting cool about it, he felt jealous.

Helga didn't feel the need for him to read the letter. She can tell him briefly what it was, but she wasn't blind, she saw him appear a tiny bit jealous. "Just telling me that I'm strong and he's glad for the support."

"He also confessed to you that he loves you. I already know he does. He told me before."

"I've always had my eyes on you." Sitting at the bench beside him, Helga kissed him on the side of the mouth. "You have been my first and only love."

Fingers touching the very area she kissed, Arnold blushed. "I give you permission to do that anytime you wish."

Bus pulling up, they both boarded taking a seat mid-way to the back. Leaning against him, Helga enjoyed him in comfortable silence.

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks for the support guys. 3**


	6. Chapter 6

It was getting closer to her birthday, and in truth, she didn't want to celebrate it. In school, people slowed down on showing her too much attention, which was fine with her. Though it didn't slow down the girls from gaining Arnold's attention like he was the last man on Earth. He continued telling them he wasn't interested and Helga hadn't tried to kiss him since that day after her appointment. She wanted to, but stopped herself when something inside her would lurk back up to give her that feeling of that guy's hands on her.

Stopping at her locker, Helga had to take several cleansing breaths in and out. She only did that when her nerves were about to tangle up. Opening up her locker, she spotted a small bouquet of pink and white flowers in there. Seeing a card, she took it reading it was from Arnold. Glancing to the other side of the hall at his locker, Arnold was smiling away at her. He had to of gotten the combination from, Phoebe.

Crossing the busy hallway to her locker, Arnold still had that strong urge to kiss her. "I have a proposal for you."

"Well seeing as we are still young, I don't think our parental figures will take kindly to us marrying now."

Arnold adored her sense of humor as she shut her locker to face him. "I wish, but no. Not now. My proposal is different. I know you said it will be a sorta quiet dinner at your house, but I'm wondering if you want it at the boarding house. Your family could come."

"My sister will take over the entire event with her, 'Look at me,' act." Shaking her head, Helga placed her hand on his shoulder. "You know what. It might not be such a bad idea. She'll divert all the male attention away from me."

Placing his hand on her shoulder, Arnold noticed she wasn't being all mocking about it. Just more lighthearted. "Just think about it. It would be on your birthday, and we want to make you happy."

"I will and I will give you plenty of time for my answer." Taking his hand, they both walked towards their classes.

When she arrived home later after school, Helga spotted her dad on the couch watching television. Walking over towards him, she greeted him quietly as she went to sit down herself. Sometimes she was still amazed that he recorded the soap operas just to watch them when he came home. When the show was finally over, she asked him about his day.

"Uh fine. Just got a new supply of laptops in today. Planning sell for the next two weekends."

Helga could plainly see that he was drained. "You going in on my birthday too?"

Bob turned his head to regard his daughter. "No. I'll go in the day after though. Don't worry, but I'll be here."

Helga was happy about that at least. "That's great. So it will be whole family then."

Even though he could see his daughter was pleased, he sensed something more to her. "Is there anything you want to bring up?'

"Well Arnold and my friends wanted to throw a birthday party at the Sunset Arms. We want the family to come and have fun there. What do you say? They'd be worrying about the food and refreshments."

Smirking at her, Bob had another idea in his head as he leaned against the arm rest to keep all his focus on her. "How about this instead. Friday is your birthday so let's have a quiet family celebration here. You do know that Olga will want to cook for you. Also, wouldn't it be best not to have her take over that one party? The reason why I'm suggesting this is because I want you to have fun with your friends and those nutty boarders on Saturday. No Olga taking over the entire thing."

Listening to his suggestion, Helga wasn't too surprised he wanted to exclude Olga at that party since he started getting clued in about her wanting to be the center of attention. "So two parties for me. Why?"

Placing his leg rest down on his recliner, Bob left his seat to sit next to her to place his arm around her shoulder. "Because you deserve it for all you have accomplished. You deserve it for what you been through. You deserve it because you made a whole school admire you for standing up to that guy."

Helga was floored by this making her hug him. "Oh thank you, thank you. I know Arnold will insist on driving me home."

"Good, but just in case he can't I want you to call me." Bob smiled at his daughters excitement level. She still would go back into that original stage after she came home that day. Bob was informed by, Dr Bliss that it is only natural she would have up and down days, with more down days. He decided to be patient with her. Never force her to do something she wasn't ready for. He wanted her to go at her own pace.

"I will. Promise." Getting up, Helga promised to make dinner tonight as she ran upstairs to call, Arnold.

"Hello?"

"Hey. Miss me?"

Arnold smiled into the phone while leaning back at his desk. "Always."

Blushing at his tone, Helga had to pace the room so she can stay on task. "I spoke with my dad, and he came up with an idea of two parties. A family private one here on my actual birthday, and on Saturday a party at your place. He figures it would be best not to have, Olga come and attend."

Confused, Arnold chuckled a little wondering what brought that on. "Why would he want no Olga here?"

"Well a couple years back my parents saw how much, Olga loved being the center of attention. He doesn't want it to draw away from me on my day."

"Wow, that's progress, Helga. He does realize that they are the one who instilled that her?" Listening to her cute giggle over the line had him grinning. He loved her laughs.

"Yeah they do, but she won't stop herself. It is all about the me, me, me."

Knowing he would talk it over with his grandparents, Arnold didn't think it was no problem. "I have no problem having it on that Saturday."

"Just let me know if truly isn't a problem since I don't want to put you out."

"It isn't an issue. I could pick you up if you would like."

Walking up to her window to glance out, she spotted a couple making out in front of the stoop across the street. "Planning on acting like my date or something?"

"Only if you so desire."

Closing her curtains, Helga leaned against the wall in deep thought. "Actually I would like that."

"Then I'll be your date."

"Well glad that's settled. Now don't forget the bendy straws." Hearing his laughter had her sitting down on her bed now.

"You have an addiction to those things, don't you?"

"I just love playing with them. There's nothing wrong with that." Glancing over at the time, Helga stood back up. "Hey I told my dad I'm making dinner tonight so I better get hopping."

"All right. Have a good night, Helga." Looking at an old photo of Helga over his computer, Arnold did spot the difference in her eyes now. They had more darkness behind them. More sorrow.

"You too, Arnoldo." Listening to him snickering, Helga hung up her phone as a tiny smile played up on her face.

* * *

 _The sickening smile playing upon that smug face. The sickening pain she was being put through. She kept trying to push him away, but all she received for her struggles was more pain. More darkness._

 _Her eyes widened more seeing the devils face form. She believed she screamed, but all she heard was evil laughter._

 _Tears weren't normal. It was blood. Blood draining from between her legs. Tears coming from her own tear ducts. She prayed for someone to come. Someone to help her. It felt like forever since this has been happening._

 _"Come on, don't you like it? I knew you wanted it." He would say._

 _Helga knew his name well enough. It was now written inside of her. Inside her brain. Now he is someone without a name. He didn't earn it in her opinion. He's evil incarnate. He's here to take your soul. You very life essence to leave you empty._

 _She gritted her teeth to the pain till she felt herself let go, and hit the ground hard. She thought she heard someone. Her blurry eyes focused on her savior who finally came. His beautiful distinct head. His big heart._

 _She watched as he fought the demon. Saw how he hit the demon's chest. She watched at how Arnold was digging into the flesh. She wasn't horrified at what she saw. Helga was fascinated to find him pulling the demons heart out of his chest._

 _"Kill it, Helga. It is time for you to live again." Arnold bade her._

 _Slowly she ascended up to try to support herself on shaky limbs. Helga examined the still pumping black heart in front of her before she raised her eyes to look into, Arnold's imploring ones. Knocking the heart out of his hand, Helga stomped on it thus making the monster screech out, and disappear._

 _Arnold smiled at her with love clearly shown in his eyes. She watched at how he went behind her. She noticed her friends slowly enter to watch the scene aptly. Kissing her cheek, Arnold told her to look. Helga did slowly just to see that she appeared to be glowing. Her complexion was far more healthier. Her hair shining. Approaching the mirror she noticed life in her eyes. A large smile played up on her face while she touched her face gingerly._

 _"What is in your heart will never go away. What he did does change things, but know this, your life is still here. You have the ability to take your life back." Arnold stood behind her as Phoebe took, Helga's hand._

 _"He is correct, Helga. Family." Phoebe squeezes her hand to indicate her in that definition. "And friends, the ones who love you, will be here for you always."_

Hearing her alarm going off, Helga turned it off. What a horrible dream that at least ended nicely. Helga felt a bit more lighter.

Getting ready for school, Helga took her typical hot shower. Scrubbed more epidermal off her body it seemed. Leaving the bathroom, she put a pink beanie on, dressed in loose jeans, and a pink t-shirt with a white long sleeve underneath. Seeing her dowdiness, Helga grabbed her book bag, and left her room to find Olga in the living room in her usual show off level.

"Oh and the director wants to expand my scene. Oh I know this will be my big break." Olga was cooing off happily. Helga thought she reminded her of a bird with how she would extend her arms out while hopping, and flapping before bringing them in clasping under her chin for her big finish. "Isn't it the most?"

"Yeah, Olga, that's great." Miriam drawled out slowly. Spotting Helga heading down the steps slowly, Miriam decided to distract her older daughter. "Oh Olga, weren't you about to show me a neat new trick in the kitchen?"

"Oh yes mummy."

Seeing his older daughter's eyes shut, Bob indicated that Helga should run out now for her own safety. When Olga surprised them early this morning, she was going on and on about another private school. The last thing, Helga needed was that.

Helga thought that to be interesting watching her father's eyes tell her to move faster. Yeah she wished. Sometimes the stairs didn't creak unless, Olga was around. It was like this great big conspiracy out to get her. The stairs cry out for her attention, and Helga is wrapped in her strong strangulating hold. Just as she was near to the end step, the stair creaked. Helga clamped her eyes shut. It always sounded like a whole building was toppling over in her own ears when the staircase did that.

"BABY SISTER!" Olga cried out.

"Oh criminey." Helga muttered as she jumped down to quickly wrap her hand around the doorknob. "Oh I gotta go, Olga. I'll catch you lat-" Too late, Olga clamped down on her with those surprisingly strong arms of hers. Does anyone have the jaws of life to help her out of this nightmare. "Can't breath."

Releasing her, Olga apologized to her. "Oh I'm sorry baby sis. I just miss you oh so much." Helga spotted the water works happening. The first mascara started to drip. It must be a nightmare in make-up dealing with this woman. "Oh Helga! Who would dare do that to you? I bet it felt oh so frightening having someone do that to you."

Getting on her knees, Olga continued to cry and say things that made her feel violated all over again. Feeling revulsion all over again, Helga began to tremble openly. She pushed Olga away. How could she do this to her? Seeing Olga approach again, Helga screamed at her.

"What is your problem?!" Helga pushed her again reaching the doorknob, twisting it, and running off.

Helga felt that gnawing heat reach inside her system. She ignored those catcalls while she breezed past to head to, Phoebe's. Seeing her house in view, tears were streaming down more heavily to the point of her doubling over in a hunched position on her stoop. Her arms were wrapped tightly around her body. Feeling someone touch her shoulder, Helga reeled back hitting the side of the wall with her back.

"Helga, it's me. It's Phoebe."

She could hear her, but couldn't make her out past all her tears. She faintly heard the sounds of two more people speaking. "Why did she come now?"

"Who are you talking about?" Each time Phoebe reached out to try to calm her, Helga tried pressing herself more against the wall. She glanced up at her parents for help, but decided it was best if she tried to do this. "Please calm down. You are safe with my parents and me."

"Olga was supposed to be here for two days. Now she's here for more." Covering her eyes over to continue crying, Helga recounted to Phoebe what her sister said to her.

Reba was in shock. "Why would she say something so horrible to you? That is positively monstrous." Shaking her head, she wanted to console the poor child herself. "I'd be horn swaddled."

Phoebe had to think what would be best for Helga right now. She was breaking down all over again. "Helga, what do you want to do right now? What will be best in your opinion?"

"To die."

"No, Helga, that isn't the best way to solve your problems. Do you want to talk to, Dr Bliss? Do you want to hide out here?"

Helga saw her parents for the first time right now. What a way to start a morning off. "I don't want to put anyone out."

Coming down to the frightened teenager, Reba crouched down to at least be at her level. "It truly isn't a problem, sugar. I want you to come inside. I'll be home all day long." Extending her hand out, Helga studied her hand as if it was a spider inside of it. Without pressuring her, Reba was relieved when she accepted it. Helping her up, she was surprised at the young lady wrapping her arms around her waist. "Things will get better. You'll see."

Phoebe watched as her mother and Helga stepped inside the house. She was so incensed that she marched herself over to the Pataki's to give, Olga a piece of her mind. Reaching her home, Phoebe could hear the sounds of shouting in there. Olga set off a firestorm. Stomping up the stoop she found the door to be slightly open, and for Phoebe not to want diplomacy right now, she stepped inside. There Olga was crying her heart out as her parents were telling her how wrong she was.

"I just want her in another school where she will be safe." Olga whined out fully while more tears fell.

She was beyond sickened by this display. "You want the best for her and yet you done the least helpful thing around." That got everyone's attention, most of all Olga's who tried again to speak, but that made Phoebe stomp her foot down to the ground. "You will listen while I communicate to you on how wrong you were. Helga is at my house, she had a nervous breakdown because of you. You are as worse as that asshole who did that to her. Are you proud of yourself? I know I'm not. It is fairly obvious your own parents aren't. You want to send her to private school when the best thing for her is to be around her friends. Friends that love her and want to help her. To me they are more of the type of siblings that she needs right now. You, should be forever ashamed of yourself, Olga. You aren't perfect. The one to me that is perfect is your own sister. Now if you'll excuse me I must go back to the one I call my sister." Diverting her attention to Bob and Miriam, Phoebe gave her customary bow for respect. "I'll call, Dr Bliss on her behalf when I reach home, Mr and Mrs Pataki."

Bob stepped forward with a slight smile on his face. "Why don't you get some clothes for her to bring to your house if you don't mind. Perhaps she should stay there for now. At least we know she's in good hands."

"I'll talk to Helga about it, Sir. I think perhaps it is best for her to reach these decisions on her own. You know how proud she is." Phoebe placed a pleasant facade for him at least.

Bob could respect that decision. "We might stop by if that isn't too much trouble."

"That would be most acceptable, Mr Pataki. I'll let her know." Giving off another tiny bow of her head, Phoebe left their house to head back home. On the way there she texted, Rhonda that Helga won't be coming in today. She also let her know if there are any assignments for them both to let them know so as not to fall behind. Rhonda's text back informed her she'll tell the others who shared classes they were in to do so. Putting her phone away, Phoebe reached her home.

Entering her place her mom told her that Helga went upstairs to her room. Going up, Phoebe found her passed out on the floor curled up with a pillow under her head. Gently she placed her book bag down to sit down on her own bed to watch out for her friend. She never felt such a role reversal in all her life till now.

"Rest up, Helga. I'll be here when you wake up." Whispered Phoebe as she went to curl up on her own bed. When she gets up she'll discuss what her father said. Maybe talk to, Dr Bliss.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thank you, Everclear70, Guest, and Diamonddiva for your reviews. I appreciate them a lot.**

* * *

Olga decided to leave early instead of apologize for her actions. As Miriam mentioned it was simply out of guilt that she ran off. Helga didn't care. She'll have it out with her one day, but for now she simply wanted to remain with the peace of having no Olga around. Helga did have a private dinner with her folks which turned out to be a pleasant experience. Helga managed to laugh at her dad's old stories of when he was younger. Miriam even pulled out an old album of her past accomplishments that she made. Helga did know about a couple, but on the whole, her mom was pretty damn impressive.

The next evening it was the party being held for her at the Sunset Arms. Upstairs, Helga tried to put some effort in her clothing with a nicer pair of jeans, and a dark long sleeve. Seeing herself in the mirror, she felt exposed even if the only skin she was showing was her face, neck, and hands. Tugging at the shirt she almost changed into something far more baggier.

Miriam stepped through the door to watch her daughter fussing about her outfit. It was highly casual for a party, but she understood her daughter's uncomfortableness. "Anything I can help you with dear?"

Hearing her mom's kind offer, Helga shook her head in defeat. "I just feel." She ended that sentence as quickly as it started. "I hate looking at myself."

"Tell me the exact issue, and maybe I could help you."

Looking down, Helga then looked up to see her mom standing behind her. "Maybe I should meet, Rhonda's cousin one day. I think it's time to. I want to see how she feels from then to now."

Placing her hands gently on Helga's arm, Miriam put her head on her shoulder. "That sounds like a good idea. Sounds healthy for both of you. I know this will be a long road for you, but we both believe in what is in you. Maybe in the long run you can help out others in this situation."

"It would be cathartic. I know." Hearing the doorbell downstairs, Helga knew that was Arnold. "Thanks for everything that you are doing for me even if I am a burden right now."

"You aren't." Kissing her on the forehead, Miriam hugged her. "I want you to have a wonderful time tonight."

"I'll try mom." Pulling away from her, Helga reached for her keys and her phone. Taking a huge breath in, she slowly exhaled before leaving her room. Downstairs, Arnold was speaking to her father noticing her out of the corner of his eye.

Seeing how, Arnold's attention was slightly waylaid, Bob glanced over at his daughter coming down. "Now I know she'll be in safe hands with you."

"She will, Mr Pataki. Is there a time you want her to be home at?" Arnold questioned with respect.

"12 is fine." Having Helga next to them both, Bob brought her in for a hug. "Call us just in case."

"I will, Dad. I know I'll be fine with them." Separating from her dad, her attention went towards, Arnold. "I'm ready as I'll ever be." Turns back to Bob. "Love you." Hearing him tell the same thing back, Helga left the house.

In the Packard over to his place, Helga was silent while her hand rubbed up and down her arm. How can he be this patient with someone? There are some times that she wanted to kiss him. Other times she didn't want the physical contact. This just felt like madness to her. How can people cope like this?

Pulling up into the driveway, Arnold parked the car inside the garage. On the ride over he spotted her apprehension. She was dressed pretty casually which was perfectly fine with him. Even in a burlap sack she would still be beautiful. "Helga, anytime you want to leave just let me know."

"Arnold I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. Stop apologizing to me. You aren't like this because you enjoy it. Everyone that cares about you wants only the best for you." He had to keep assuring her to try to stop being so negative.

"You know that there are times I want to kiss you. Other times I just need my distance. I've loved you for so long, and even I feel like I can't control my own actions. I feel like I'm hurting others." Stepping out of the car, Helga went slowly around to meet up with him. "You really should move on from me."

Offering her a sweet smile, Arnold shook his head at that. "I'm firm in my decision, Helga. I'll always be here for you."

The same assurance, the same guilt flooded through her. Why does he have to be so sweet and understanding? "Guess I should be happy that Olga junior isn't here." Mocked Helga.

"She won't be coming back after all. She's happy where she is. I did, however, fall asleep during her mass email to all of us about that. I counted 50 ever so's in a two paragraph email." Arnold remembered how kissing her was a snoozefest.

"So she's a regular old Snoozapoolza then."

Listening to the slightest bit of laughter from her, warmed him. "Heh, good one, Helga." Feeling her hand slide into his own he felt that this was a reward. She didn't take his hand often, but when she did, Arnold felt this is better than any gift he had been given. "You ready?"

She gave off a nervous smile. "This is as good as it will get."

Wishing to argue that point, Arnold escorted her in. The party was on the roof so minus Abner about to bowl them over as he ran downstairs, Arnold led her up the rest of the way with no further issue. Helga squeezed his hand when everyone shouted at her a happy birthday. He felt her shake slightly prompting him to whisper out that no harm will happen there.

"I'm trying." Helga whispered back. Her knees felt weak and in her mind she remembered a party he thrown here when she was 9. Her laughing and dancing with their friends. She was fearless for the most part. She only feared showing the real her. That was small in comparison to this new feeling. A feeling she constantly hated.

During the party, Helga would cut mostly remain on the side watching everyone have fun. The guys would ask her to dance, but she would politely decline. While she trusted the guys in this group for the most part, there was one thing they still couldn't stop themselves from doing: Flirt.

Sid was the biggest serial flirter towards her to the point he got extremely crude. While the old her would brush it off, the new her shrunk back.

Harold even started his hand with flirting with her. His flirting attempts always had him comparing food to her. Not exactly the greatest seeing how it tended to get gross too.

Stinky had a much clumsier way of flirting. She guessed there was a certain charm to it, but he took it too far once when it came to her breasts.

Brainy never flirted, but his shy blushing glances her way told her enough. She did trust him, but there was the problem with the breathing. It wasn't his fault entirely. It was a health thing he has experienced for a long time. It just happened to remind her of that guy breathing on her.

Curly was just a twisted little freak. He didn't flirt but he was brash in what he said.

She tried to dance with Gerald once, but after feeling odd, he at least wasn't insulted by her bowing out. He was understanding. She couldn't dance with Arnold in fear of accidently going off.

She did dance with the girls. It was safe to her. She told Rhonda that she would like to meet her cousin. Rhonda smiled at her before going to the side to speak. "I would of brought her but with the pain medication she takes it makes her sleep very early."

Helga figured the pain medication was due to what happened to her. "Does she get any nightmares while on that?"

"No, she says she gets a dreamless sleep. She told me that once she ran out of it, and it was the worse night of her life." Rhonda replied while a frown played on her face. "From time to time she breaks down still. Her doctor suggested she talk to others in a group about what happened, but she has social anxiety. It takes a lot for her to attend school. In a way, she has to be numb for that." Rhonda remembered the other day, Victoria requested she sleep in the same room just because each time she closed her eyes she saw him.

Helga placed her hand on hers. "I'm glad that we are finally getting along after all this time. I guess, in a way, you all are my drug."

Rhonda's mouth quirked up a bit at that. "Do you take anti-depressants?"

"Yeah. Had to try a few of them till I got the one I liked the best. Doesn't stop it when I get truly anxious, but at least I'm not numb." Looking across the way at, Arnold's gaze, Helga sighed. "Some days I want to kiss him and other days I can't bare to do it."

"At least you are thinking about it. You trust him at least. He is patient."

Helga fell back into shyness even as she watched everyone have fun. At some point during the party she found Stinky coming back up from where ever he disappeared to. She watched as Sheena soon followed just giggling away before Arnold emerged wearing a stern face on him. Helga sat on the sidelines feeling a bit of moisture in her eyes. She was sitting there for so long that she had a slight revolving door happening around her as some would talk to her. It may be her birthday, but right now it felt like a party for them. She did get presents, but in truth she could of done without them. She just wanted one present.

After the party dispersed, Arnold found Helga in his room sitting on the floor. Watching him look here and there in there for things, Helga smirked at him. "They were in here doing something naughty weren't they?" Helga questioned. "I can tell by Stinky and Sheena's faces."

"It is one thing when we were nine and I wouldn't find people doing that in my room, now as teenagers I have to see my room turned into a den." Arnold scolded his stupidity in not taking a necessary measure. "Well the bed looks untouched at least."

Spotting the bed not being as pristine as he may think it is from his angle, Helga hooked her thumb in that direction. "Look under the covers, Football Head."

Afraid to do so, but knowing he had to, Arnold flipped down his bed sheets to find a pile of condom wrappers there. Angry at this violation of his own bed by someone else, he began stripping his bed quickly while muttering curses out. "They could of waited, but no! They use my room."

Cocking her head, she almost felt like a dog in how she was regarding his behavior. Yes, it was highly rude of them to do that, and in truth the old her would of laughed at it before falling into disgust. "Need help?"

"No. I have it handled. But Stinky will need help after I get a hold of him." Putting the sheets in his hamper in the closet, Arnold went to grab some more sheets in the linen closet.

Spotting some fabric refresher, Helga got up to help spray his mattress. No need to smell someone else's sweat on his bed. Pity it wasn't Lysol or something. Hearing him heading back up, Helga placed the spray back down. "I sprayed your mattress down. You know we can just burn the mattress now and get a new one."

Smiling at the slight joke in that, Arnold thanked her for that. "As much as I would love to replace the mattress, I think it would be far easier to replace Stinky."

Helping him put his bed together, Helga could never stop herself from taking in the scent of even his clean linens. He'll be the only guy she'll know with a smell that had the ability to make her happy. Or in this case, calmer. "Arnold, I'm sorry if I was a kill joy at my own party. I really do appreciate the trouble you did."

Folding his sheet under, Arnold straightened up to examine her. "Helga, I understand. Did you at least have some fun?"

"I had some fun. I won't lie to you there. I really didn't want the presents, just the one that can't be gift wrapped. Still it is the gesture that counts." Helga knew if she did lie he would know.

Studying him under the full moon, Helga felt herself drawn up to him. Moving her hands up, Helga cupped his face gently to guide him down to her mouth. Placing some small pressure against his lips, Helga moved hers slowly against his loving how smooth they felt. Almost timidly, she moved her tongue along his seam. She wanted permission. Helga heard his shuddering breath as his mouth opened up slightly to allow her in. Her tongue meeting his own, Helga felt a weakness that wasn't scary.

Helga moved her hands down to help guide his arms to wrap around her waist. He was so patient and understanding with her that she was none too surprised in how he just wanted her permission to proceed. It was one of the many things she loved about him so she pressed herself more against him while her arms wrapped around his neck.

Both pulling back for air, Arnold pressed his forehead against hers gently. "You know how to define what a kiss should really be." Arnold felt bliss in this moment. "Happy Birthday again, Helga."

"That is the second thing that can't be gift wrapped." Helga wanted to get another kiss in. She made a bit more progress tonight, and it all started with a kiss she initiated herself.

* * *

 **A/N 2: The guys flirting with Helga is not just to her alone. I was just throwing examples out. These are guys just acting like flirts.**

 **Kissing someone so soon after isn't really strange. I did that with my own Arnold like guy in high school. I trusted him and didn't do it too often. I just kissed when I felt comfortable to do so.**


	8. Chapter 8

On monday, she was sitting across from, Dr Bliss telling her about the weekend. "I kissed him." Helga ended up keeping that for last. "After the party, we were alone in his room. When that moon fell on him just right I was compelled. I initiated it and I enjoyed it."

"That's excellent to hear, Helga. How did he take it?" Dr Bliss was proud of her patient in doing something so bold for a person in her state.

Thinking back on that night, Helga smiled shyly. "Well he didn't know what to do with his hands. I know he didn't want to frighten me cause he is so patient. I guided his hands to go to my waist, and-" Blushing, she squirmed in her contained excitement. "It lasted for a while before we pulled apart. He told me that is how a kiss should be."

Closing her eyes, Dr Bliss gave a half closed mouth smirk before opening her eyes up to look at her slyly. "The boy continues to surprise me."

"I know! Same here."

Watching her smile disappear before a lull hit her, Bliss was curious about the sudden change. "What are you thinking right now?"

"You know I love him, but it would be far too soon for this to happen, right? Getting into a relationship."

"Well Helga, I could only tell you what I told you before when you asked about kissing. You'll know when you will know."

Getting up, Helga went over to the window to sit at the ledge. "Perhaps. I'll be meeting with my friend's cousin tomorrow. She was attacked herself by a stranger. I felt it was time to."

"It does certainly help to talk to others who have been in the same situation. There are usually groups dedicated to this, but some feel a one on one is more comfortable at first."

"The thing with a group is that I'm afraid of the same thing happening like in that damned conference I had to attend. The other day I heard that song playing and I shouted to turn the radio off or at least switch channels." Pressing her heel at the edge to feel some pressure, Helga continued. "Maybe it isn't like that, but I hate when people fire off questions at the same time. I start to sweat. I start to panic. This is just plain tiresome."

"Do you think that you are trying to push yourself into trying to get better?"

"Yes. I just don't want to be that burden. It is a fear that everyone will leave me for being this way." Glancing at the time, Helga turned her head to see that Arnold was standing there for her.

Dr Bliss stood up to come over to the window to look out also spotting, Arnold. "I will say this about those people who decide to leave. It simply means that they didn't care about you the way that they claimed."

"Yeah." She said in a tone of voice that was heavily distracted. "I know that he has been one of them. Phoebe too. Both have stuck by me in my good and bad moods."

"Then that means they passed the test. If the others can't, then you know what to do."

Helga caught her drift. "I move on to the next."

"Exactly." Checking the time, Dr Bliss sometimes hated ending a session. "That's the time for now."

Getting off the ledge to stand, Helga gave her a customary hug. "It's been a slice as usual, Doc."

Bliss chuckled lightly at her sometimes usual good bye to her. "It has. You know where I am if you need me, Helga."

"Always. Bye, Doc." Waving good bye to her, Helga left the office, and headed downstairs. Leaving the building she went into his arms.

Kissing the top of her head, Arnold loved this closeness. "A good session I assume."

"You assume correctly." Slipping her hand into his, Helga and him went to the bus stop. As they waited for the bus, Helga brought her lips to his to give him a light kiss. "Thanks for everything."

"You're welcome." Taking a chance, Arnold kissed her back. Pulling back he had been wanting to ask her a question since after the party. "Would you like to go to a dinner date with me?"

"Uh, sure. Where?"

Arnold got nervous at how she answered the question. "Helga you don't have to go if you don't want to."

Helga panicked knowing that her hesitance in how she replied made him say that. "No, Arnold! I want to go. The reason why I ask where is because I know at the boarding house the tenants would fire off questions at once. I am not ready for that, and in truth, I don't think I ever will be."

He knew he was acting like he was on pins and needles with her. Arnold scolded himself wondering if that was the best way of going around things with her. Perhaps he needed a session with, Dr Bliss. "I know you aren't. The place I had in mind was our first Valentines date."

Smiling shyly and hating the bus for pulling up just then, Helga nodded her head. "I would love that. Hopefully we can get the same table."

"I could request it." Taking her hand, they both walked up the few steps to show their bus pass. Going to the back, Arnold let her sit by the window.

Helga couldn't help herself when she saw him turn his head towards her, she caught him in a kiss. A deep one to the point of them almost missing her stop. Blushing, Helga and him got off the bus to walk up to her house. "You want to come in for a little while? My dad and mom have been wanting to say their thanks personally for the party."

Arnold loved how she could act so shy at times. It gave off the sweetest aura from her. "Sure, I'd like that."

Opening the door, Helga stepped in to hear her parents talking in the living room. No television was on. Stepping into the living room she was greeted by them with soft expressions on her face. She remembered wishing, when she was a child, that they would greet her in a loving way. Guess some things do come true.

"Mom. Dad. I brought, Arnold with me."

Stepping into the living room, Arnold greeted them with the usual respect while, Bob got up to shake his hand. "Thanks for giving our daughter a party."

"Yes, Arnold, that was really sweet of you." Miriam chimed in happily as she brought him in for a hug. "She deserved it."

Surprised about the affection he was receiving from them along with the respect, Arnold now knew for sure that things turned around with, Helga in this respect. It was one thing for him to hear about it from her, but to see it was another. It was nothing fake. "It was no problem. Everyone at the boarding house loves her." He loves her.

"Also thank you for punching that guy out." Bob slapped his hand down on Arnold's shoulder.

Arnold's face gave way to livid. "He deserved it."

To hear the venom in his voice was always foreign to, Helga's ears. "He deserves to be castrated. No he deserves to be tied up in a tree, upside down, naked, and shocked repeatedly in the balls."

The room became quiet as they heard the pure anger in her voice. Helga knew how they all looked at her. Knew that she had just reason for such torture. Feeling a hand in hers, Helga snapped out of her thoughts to gaze lovingly at, Arnold.

Bob and Miriam spotted that there was one boy in her life that would never harm her. "Arnold, would you like to join us for dinner? I made chicken, roasted potato's and veggies." Miriam inquired hoping he would stick around. "The chicken is almost done, but I need my special sous chef to do the potato's."

"Are the potato's at least half way cooked?" Helga wondered. At her nod, Helga headed off into the kitchen.

"Let me call my grandparents to tell them I'm eating here." Arnold said as he began to pull out his phone. Seeing the nods on their heads, Arnold stepped outside briefly calling them before calling, Dr Bliss for an appointment with her. Hearing she had an available for tomorrow, he accepted it.

Helga was slicing the potato's, and laying them out on a pan. Seeing Arnold come in to offer to help, she told him what else she needed. "This normally tastes better on the barbeque. I like to make them ahead of time and let the flavors cook in. This is a quicker method."

Seeing the rosemary next to her, Arnold watched her take the sprigs off to lay on it. "You like it this way?"

"I love it. I got addicted to it. Still am." Putting it all together, Helga placed it in the broiler. "Won't be too long now."

Half hour later they were all around the table eating and talking. Arnold noticed that Miriam wasn't slurring her words anymore so it was more than obvious she was still sober after all this time. Bob was a little more friendlier now than before. He didn't boast, Olga's reputation like he use to. She was mentioned, but never in what he did a long time back. It was something deserved for, Helga.

After dinner, Arnold nervously went upstairs per, Helga's request. First he thought he was heading into her bedroom, but found himself on her roof instead. Having brought out a couple of lawn chairs out, Helga set them up so they can look at the stars. "I loved those potato's." Arnold complimented.

"Well if you loved that then I can pour a mean bowl of cereal."

Laughing softly at her sarcasm, Arnold wanted to hold her hand. "I bet you do."

Having put her chair purposely closer to him, Helga brought her hand up to run it through his hair. "You really have the softest hair."

Closing his eyes to fully enjoy her touch, Arnold felt he could of fell asleep just like this. "So do you."

"Hmm." Helga felt relaxed just by doing this. No need for a massage if this could feel good. "When I need to calm down can I do this with your hair?"

"You have my permission." He really felt like he was in another Universe with her hands doing this.

Studying the night sky, Helga felt content right now. "Your roof is far more homier than on top of this roof."

"It's not so bad up here. Just imagine a garden environment up here. I'm sure it would help increase the value in this home more than it currently is."

"I'm not Bob, but I do enjoy how you think. We have a vegetable garden, but it would be great to have that type of garden up here. I wonder what my parents would think." Getting up, she wandered towards the edge. "Just imagine flowers of every variety. Well at least the ones that could survive this environment. Lining the edges. A gazebo in the middle with a couples bench in the middle. Oh a pathway leading up to the gazebo, or perhaps different stones in different shades of color making a pattern." There were so many colors going through her mind.

Arnold observed how she looked right now. She had excitement from thinking about creative ideas. The way she danced around to show what will go where was so beautiful to see.

"Arnold, do you still love to draw like before?"

Even in the darkness, he saw her eyes twinkling. "I do. Would you like me to draw up your many visions?"

She felt like a kid coming back up to him, repositioning her chair in front of him to take his hands. "I would love it! Please do this. At least I know you know what types of plants would do well up here."

"I would love to do that for you."

Smiling, Helga kissed him. "Thank you and if my parents give it a go I'll have something to do up here. It might be therapeutic." As fast as her smile came it went as she went to settle back on her chair. "I wanted you to be my first." Her tone became so sad. So hated to herself.

Seeing her crumbling down again, Arnold brought his chair to her side just so they can still see one another face to face. Hugging her, Helga didn't yell at him, didn't demand he let her go, she hugged him back. "I'm your first love. First kiss. You are my first love and kiss. I experienced a lot of firsts with you that I'm happy with."

"My first compliment." She sniffed.

"I'm your first tickle." He reminded.

"First person to bean me in the head with a baseball."

"Ouch! You had to remind me of that." Cringing, he moved to kiss the side of her face. "My first song along with many that I wrote."

"First and only guy I've ever jumped myself into your arms."

"First guy to obviously see you with your hair down." Pulling back from her a little, Arnold moved some of her hair in front of her eye. "Such beautiful hair. You looked so sweet and pretty that night."

"I'd do anything to be with you. I had to fake my identity to be with you. You wouldn't of said yes to me."

Kissing her cheek softly, Arnold continued to run his hand through her hair. "I didn't know any better back then. Now I do for the most part. I still get confused, but not about us."

"I'm only confused about myself now, but I'm not confused about wanting this." Moving forward their lips met in a soft sweet kiss. This will be her kiss good night. She'll play his song to her tonight to get a restful sleep. She hoped.

After they said their good nights, Helga went up to her room to play that song softly so as not to disturb her parents. As always, she stood taking deep cleansing breaths before sliding into bed. She wished for that night with a dreamless sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

After Rhonda took Helga over to her place to meet her cousin, Arnold went directly to, Dr Bliss's practice for his appointment. After he checked in, Dr Bliss immediately brought him in before he could take a seat in the waiting room. Stepping into her office, Arnold somehow didn't know where to sit while his mind remained cluttered. Soon he just sat in another chair that was almost adjacent to her own.

With her pad of paper in hand, Dr Bliss took in the young man in front of her. She knew why he was here. "So Arnold, how have you been?"

"I don't know where to begin." What a standard answer, that much he knew. "Home life is still the same. Most of my friends are good. Well with the exception of a male friend that ticked me off at, Helga's party."

"Oh? What did he do?"

"Use my bed for sex."

"Well I can see why that would irritate you, but that is not the reason why you're here." She figured patiently.

Running his hands in his scalp, Arnold put his hands down to rest on the arm rests. "It's Helga. At times I'm lost in what to do with her. I wonder if I'm doing enough for her. She's in pain all the time, and I feel helpless. I don't know what to say most of the time. I know to allow her to make the first move. I'll always listen to her and love her. It just hurts to see the person you love in this much pain."

Eyes softening, Dr Bliss wished everyone was this sweet to someone in Helga's circumstance. With female's it is one thing, but most males always act like that the woman should get over it in a matter of minutes. "I can tell you one thing, Arnold. You are saying the right things right now. I can't divulge much in my sessions with her." He nods in understanding. "You are patient with her. You are letting her make the first move. You are listening to her. I know you love her very much. You always have. It is understandable you are feeling helpless in this situation. You want to make this all go away for her. You want that very spirited girl back. I'm sure this hasn't lessened your feelings for her."

"No. Never. Helga is still there, she just changed because of something that wasn't her fault. I just know what is in that heart. In that mind. When I first felt that hug in school, I delirious. To feel her kiss me, I was over the moon. When she takes my hand, I feel privileged. She's amazing."

"I can see why she's crazy about you. You have that old world romantic in your heart." Dr Bliss scribbled on her paper. "I looked out the window yesterday and spotted you both at the bus stop. You looked like a couple. Is that what you want to be?"

"I asked her out for this friday. I'm questioning it if it is too soon to ask her. Is it?"

Watching him wring his hands, Bliss's eye's flickered up to his waiting form. "You can ask her, but remember it is her choice. Would you still be around her if she says to wait a while longer?"

"Yes. I'll always be there for her. I'll just keep waiting."

"What would happen if she keeps saying no?"

Arnold knew she was just testing him. "I'll still be there for her. I love her and only her."

* * *

Meanwhile at Rhonda's, Helga was being shown to her cousin's bedroom. Knocking on the door, Rhonda opened the door to let them both in. "Roxanne, this is Helga." Rhonda introduced with no dramatic flair.

Helga looked over to Roxanne who was sitting on her bed with her back against the headboard. Helga noticed that the girl appeared pretty skinny with limp brown hair. She was attractive, but even Helga could plainly see how she obviously didn't care for her appearance. "Hi."

"Hi." Roxanne greeted back. "You can leave us be, Rhonda, thank you."

"Sure. Call if you need anything." Rhonda requested kindly. Gentleness marked her tone.

Waiting for the door to close behind her, Roxanne requested Helga to come over and sit down. Seeing a chair already set up near the bed, Helga chose that. From close up, she could see the amazing paleness of her skin. The deep sadness and pain marred her eyes.

"Helga, you can call me Roxie. I hate when they get too formal around here." Her voice was husky sounding. Tired. "I'm sorry for what has happened to you."

"I'm sorry it happened to you. What did Rhonda say about me?"

"She didn't give me details feeling that is for you to tell. I know she gave you a little about me." Roxie noticed how Helga looked down. "Would you like me to tell you?"

Helga could only nod. She felt unable to verbalize the answer. She can tell this girl was in pain.

Roxie noticed her apprehension knowing it was best not to get into every single detail of this story. "I was coming home from school. It was getting late. I remember getting grabbed and being knocked out. When I came to during it, he was in the middle of the act. It was horrible. I kept repeating in my head that this has to be a nightmare and that I'm still asleep. It wasn't. When he saw my eyes looking at him, he hit me knocking me out. When I came to again, he was doing more. I don't know how long this lasted. I still don't. I just know he beat me harder and harder." Tears came out of her thinking of every which way he had his way with her.

Handing her a tissue, Helga's heart went out to her as tears came slowly out of her own eyes.

"He left me there to die in freezing cold weather. Naked. Bleeding. I was found by a cop. In my passed out state I was crying. He broke my collar bone, broke a few ribs, and split my head in the back. I almost died and I wish I did. Be better than how I'm feeling now. I have to take heavy doses of medication. I have another surgery scheduled to get rid of the build up happening to my collar bone." Roxie didn't want to further say much more, but she did notice a look come over Helga. "What's the matter? Do you feel like what happened to you should be less traumatic?" Helga nodded. "Don't. A violation happened against your will. It is all bad. Do you mind sharing what happened to you?"

Sharing what happened to her, Helga really didn't want to look at her face as she recounted that day then the additional one with the faculty. "No one believes me. Once in a while I still get phone calls just because they publicly humiliated me."

Roxie felt disgust. She knew some sick fucks often make up stories, but to believe the guy over her. To treat her like this. "You never thought of filing charges against him or the school?"

"If a whole school sided with him over me, then what chance do I have?" Helga's dead firm tone was nearly spat out. She felt the tension forming in her spine. "That guy was in my current school. Rhonda and Phoebe knew what happened to me. No one else did. I walk in and there he was chatting up with another friend of mines. I yelled in the hallway. I screamed it out. I didn't care. They had to see the monster for himself. The one that killed me. What does that guy do? He acts smug and then he slams me into the locker."

Roxie listened to that. Saw Helga bare her teeth as she said that. Roxie was beginning to give up on herself, and this girl seemed to not be. "What happened after he did that?"

"Arnold, he is my oldest friend, and someone that I've loved for so long, he came out of nowhere practically to deck out that bastard." Closing her eyes, Helga took in several deep breaths to calm herself. "I ran out of school and Arnold came running after me. When I fell, I didn't know it was him at first. My eyes were blurry from crying. Also it was raining. I didn't want to touch any male. I only recognized him after his grandma calmed me enough."

"It's good he did that. Punched the guy. I do understand about not wanting to be touched by any male. It's hard after that. You can't breath most of the time. As you said, it felt like you died that day. I didn't know how to describe it myself, but you did perfectly. At school now, I don't care how I look. I'm there for an education. I don't have any friends. I avoid guys. I don't care if they think I'm a bitch." Pausing in her thoughts, Roxie frowned. "I don't have any professional help at all. I don't trust anyone. I met with one shortly after my attack, and I told my parents I don't like the person."

"I'm seeing this great psychologist. I've known her since I was nine. I trust her completely. She makes me feel so safe. She has come to see me since this has happened. I've only gone to her office recently. Would you like to talk to her? Tell her the situation and I'm certain she will come here. Her name is, Dr Bliss." Helga suggested nicely.

Nodding her head, Roxie's eyes were misting up. "I would really appreciate it, Helga. I love my family, but I can't keep feeling this way. I mean it is nice to talk to someone who understands. I just wish it never happens to another girl, let alone us."

"I hear you."

Yawning, this was the most she had spoken in a long time. "You are a fighter. I can see your strength even if you are doubting it yourself. You are just knocked down right now. I can see you are trying."

"Sometimes I just feel like giving up. Sometimes I wish I was really dead instead of feeling like this all the damned time. I know you feel the same way too. I wish I could freely be with, Arnold, instead of me being three quarters of the way there." Seeing the obvious pain in, Roxie's eyes, Helga felt worried. "Is there anything I can get you?"

"No. I'll be due for my medication soon. We have a few more minutes at least. I appreciate the concern." Roxie sent her a weak smile. "What do you mean by three quarters of the way there?"

Getting slightly red faced, Helga glanced away for a second. "I already said I love him. Rhonda knows him too. I hugged him and we kissed. He never presses anything and allows me to take the lead."

"Guess you are very lucky there." Seeing the Butler come in with her pills, Roxie accepted it with the water. "Thank you, Roger."

"You are quite welcome, Miss." Roger did a slight bow before exiting the room gracefully.

Watching her take her meds, Helga wished she didn't have to go through all this pain. "Can I leave you my number? I would like to be your friend if you want. Also I will leave, Dr Bliss's number. I'll make sure to give her a heads up. The rest will be up to you to say what you wish."

Settling into her bed, Roxie smiled weakly while pointing to a pad of paper. "I would like to have a friend. Leave both those numbers."

Grabbing the pad of paper with the pen, Helga scribbled the information down before placing it down. "When is your surgery?"

"Next week on Saturday. They promise me that I'll be there overnight, but even I doubt that stuff. I get sick really bad after each one." She was feeling sleep edge its way inside of her. "I hate to cut this short, but I need to drift off."

Standing up, Helga did a silent wish for this girl. "Well I hope you have a good night. Also, it was really good to finally meet you."

"Same here. You're nice. Have a good evening."

Seeing her eyes close, Helga left her room silently so as not to disturb her. Closing the door softly, Helga went to speak to, Rhonda before she had to head back home.

* * *

Still at the tail end of his session with, Bliss, they were interrupted by her telephone. Excusing herself, she picked it up to speak. "Hello Helga."

"Hey, Doc. Sorry if I'm interrupting anything there, but I needed to give you a heads up about someone." Helga said on the other end.

Giving Arnold a knowing look seeing how anxious he was, Dr Bliss spoke. "Who is that?"

"Her name is Roxanne Lloyd, she is the cousin I told you about. I recommended your name. The thing is this, she doesn't want to leave the house."

"So it will need to be a home session." Penciling the girls name down, Bliss straightened up. "I know I will be able to do that for her."

Helga smiled at her coolness. "Thanks, Doc! You rock."

Laughing politely, Bliss spoke to her a little bit more before hanging up. "Nothing to worry about, Arnold, she just wanted to tell me to expect a call from someone." Sitting back down, Dr Bliss glanced at the time. "We have at least ten minutes left here. Is there anything else you would want to add?"

"I know I've spoken to you about Helga in quite a few sessions. I won't ask what she says about me exactly, but I get this feeling you are rooting for our relationship."

Seeing how his eyes looked like a hawk as he tried to seek the truth, Bliss couldn't help give out a friendly chuckle. "Whatever do you mean, Arnold? I'm a Psychologist not a matchmaker."

Raising his eyebrow up, Arnold highly doubted it right now. "I don't know. You do spend an awfully huge amount of time hinting at it, and throwing these suggestions out."

Standing up abruptly, Dr Bliss told him the session is over. Her little act didn't fool him there. Yes she saw them as both perfect together. So sue her.

Raising himself up, Arnold could only admire the older woman. She is very clever to do this. He doubted she did this for anyone else. "Alright, Dr Bliss. I appreciate you seeing me on short notice. Thank you for the help."

Shaking his hand, she then led him towards the door. "It really is no problem, Arnold. If you ever need me again, don't hesitate to call me."

"I won't. I'm glad she has you. Have a good evening."

After he left, Dr Bliss shut the office door just shaking her head. "I need to cover myself better between those two teenagers. They can see right through me." After admonishing herself, she thought a nice cup of coffee would be a nice prize for herself after a full day.

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks for the support everyone. I greatly appreciate it.**


	10. Chapter 10

Helga jerked herself awake in the middle of the night. She felt sweat dripping down her. A bad dream based on a real life nightmare. Getting out of bed, Helga went to the bathroom to wash her face with cold water. Shutting the faucet off, she remained hunched over on the sink breathing hard.

"Breath in and out. In and out. You are safe in your house. Just breath in and out." Helga reminded herself before sitting down on the sink. "You are safe. No one will harm you here. Just keep breathing."

Will no one harm her here? Well the stairs may harm her and the bathtub might. Her parents won't harm her. Wiping her face off, Helga stepped out of the bathroom to look over at her parents bedroom. Funny how she wanted to go in there and crawl in between them as if she was a small little girl. She never did that when she was, so to think that now almost made it a little interesting. She guessed this experience does make you feel small to the point of reverting back to a childhood she never had. Although in truth, with how they are being protective of her now that is why she was going through that in her mind.

"Mom. Dad. I'm scared of my own shadow." She whispered out. "When will that stop?"

It was an answer she already knew about. She will never stop thinking about it, she would have to cope. She would have to keep living. She wanted to keep going, but was afraid to do so at times. Silently she went back to her bedroom to lay back down hoping for no dreams.

* * *

At school, Helga felt herself shaking. She felt touched without being touched. Today she didn't hold Arnold's hand. She couldn't even kiss him. It was so bad feeling that she couldn't bare the touch of her best friend. She didn't want to feel human skin on her. Helga wasn't even thinking when she asked to go to use the restroom. She didn't ask for anyone to accompany her as she went to the nearest one like a zombie. No one was in there as she went into one of the stalls.

Phoebe checked her phone to see if she sent a text to see if one of the girls wanted to tag along, but none was sent. Catching the eyes of Gerald and Arnold, Phoebe decided to text the girls to see if she asked one of them. The mass reply was no from each. Phoebe wondered if Helga was trying to be bold today, but the way she wasn't truly responding to anyone today led her to believe that this is one of her bad days.

Helga was in the stall when she heard a pair of footsteps coming in. Heart pounding she tried to see them from the slits in the door. She then tried to determine if it was female shoes or male shoes. Seeing if she had a weapon in the stall, Helga swallowed hard as she flushed the toilet. Hand on the latch, she slid it slowly away to open the door up.

Phoebe, Arnold, and Gerald were waiting anxiously for Helga to come back when they heard a loud scream making all three get up and run out of the room. Opening up the door to girls bathroom, Phoebe saw Helga on the ground covering her face with her hands begging for it all to stop. Phoebe called out to her as she ran to her side to hold her.

"Shhh, it's me Phoebe. I'm here. I'm here." Her voice had to remain calm even if her nerves were tangled.

"Breath in and out. In and out. He's not here. He's not here." Helga wrapped her arms around her friends petite frame. "Keep breathing. Keep breathing."

Arnold felt hopeless as did Gerald as they watched her breaking down again. Stepping out of the bathroom, Arnold ignored half the student body while he pulled out his phone. "Dr Bliss. It's Arnold. Please come to the school for Helga's sake." Hearing her say she will, Arnold hung up to call her father. "Hello, Mr Pataki. Helga is at school. I already called Dr Bliss. Yeah, she is in the bathroom right now with Phoebe. Alright, I'll see you soon." Ignoring everyone, Arnold stepped back inside. "Dr Bliss and your father are coming down to the school."

"You hear that, Helga?" Phoebe asked her friend.

Nodding her head, Helga tried to move to get up, but felt weak. "Arnold? Help me up." Feeling his familiar hands on her hands, Helga clasped him to get up only to have her knees buckle under her. Feeling his arm circle around her waist, Helga tried to hide her face against him.

With Phoebe on one side of her and Arnold on the other, Gerald opened the door up for them to bring her out. Walking in front of them through the crowd of people, Gerald, Phoebe, and Arnold made sure no one would ask her any questions.

At the nurses after her session with, Dr Bliss, she felt it was best that Helga took the day off. Bob agreed with that so he could bring her home, but Helga stopped him. "I wanna look through the skylight."

"Skylight? We don't have one. Tell me what you mean, Helga." Bob wondered gently.

"Arnold has a skylight in his room. It's big. I'm happy looking through it as I lay on the ground." Helga said.

Unhappy to see his daughter's eyes look void of emotion, Bob nodded his head. "Is Arnold still around?"

Getting up from her seat, Dr Bliss opened the door to find all three of them still around. "Arnold, could you come in here for a minute."

"Sure." Standing up he followed behind her to see Helga looking almost frozen where she sat.

Bob addressed him. "She says she wants to look through the skylight. Is it possible if she could?"

"Grandma and Grandpa are at home all day so I know it won't be a problem. Let me call them up. I'll be right back." Leaving them, Arnold went to call the boarding house.

"Does this happen doc? The good and bad days? I'm constantly worried about her." Bob ran his hand against his daughter's expressionless face. It was killing him to see her like this. "I want to kill that bastard who did this to her."

"I won't sugarcoat it, but it will. They told me what she was saying when they found her, and at least she is trying the methods. It will be a long road still for her." Dr Bliss placed her hand on her back. "She just needs to remember to at least talk about it ahead of time before it reaches this again. I know she doesn't want to be a burden, but she has to do this for herself."

Walking back in, Arnold wanted to wrap his arms around her. "My grandparents are fine with it. They'll make sure that no one else disturbs her. Let me come with you."

Needing someone along to help her out, Dr Bliss, Arnold, Helga, and Bob left the school to head to the Sunset Arms. When they arrived there, Arnold led them inside where he escorted them upstairs to his bedroom. From there after he opened the door, Helga went to the spot she always enjoyed to be at, and laid down. All three of them examined her even as Bob couldn't help admit to himself that his room was impressive.

"I could see why she wanted this skylight. I never seen one like this in any bedroom." Remarked Bob.

"It seems to make her peaceful." Arnold told him as they decided to head back down to speak to his grandparents about things.

Dr Bliss laid everything out on what to expect and how to handle things when it came to Helga's situation. She answered every question that they had as she handed them her card. "Please call me just in case it occurs again."

"We will. When Arnold told us what happened to her our hearts went out to her. We've known her since she was a small child." Gertie told her.

Arnold listened not comfortable with leaving her alone to go back to school. Knowing his grades were good, and that there wasn't any important tests that needed to be done, he decided to announce that he was staying home for the rest of the day. "I've been pretty educated about what to do, and I won't be at all comfortable heading back to school just thinking about her all day. I'll text my friends about any homework if it is assigned to the class."

"Are you absolutely sure? I trust you around her, but I just want you to be positive." Bob wondered to the young man.

"I'm more than sure, Mr Pataki. Your daughter means so much to me."

"When Arnold is determined he hardly ever changes his mind." Phil informed him as he looked at his grandson with pride.

Uncomfortable about leaving her, but knowing she was in good hands, Bob slapped a hand down on his shoulder. "You really are fine young man. Miriam will pick her up at 4 if that isn't a problem."

"No problem at all, Sir."

Bob wondered if he would ever call him by his first name if he requested it. Looking up, Bob gave a silent good bye to his daughter before slowly leaving the home. Finding Dr Bliss beside him, he asked her some questions as he showed her to her vehicle.

For Arnold he slowly made it back upstairs with a few things in his hand just in case she wanted it. Going into his bedroom she had a pillow now under her head while still staring up towards the sky. "I brought something to drink and also something to eat if you wanted it." He was met with silence. "I texted Phoebe to say that I was staying with you."

"Are you getting tired of dealing with this already?" Came her deadened question.

"Helga, no. I know you are." Going over to his desk, he brought out a sketch book. Sitting down on the ground, Arnold thought to distract her. "I drew some sketches of your vision. Several of them."

Curious, Helga craned her neck to see the first one he had out for her inspection. Pulled in by the detail, she sat up to study it. "Beautiful. Is there any more?"

Taking a chance, Arnold adjusted himself so he was sitting beside her. Giving her sketchpad he watched as she turned to the next page. "I did write in the back of each one which plants would be great in this environment up there. Also I did price some stuff even though we can build it."

Helga studied each detail of the drawing even looking in the back to see how much research he did. "All this for me?"

"Yes. Helga, never doubt me when it comes to things. I want you to know that you'll never be a burden to me. You are more of a blessing to me."

"I know. I'm afraid." Turning the page, Helga found herself leaning against him. "I know that everyone was staring at me in the hallway. It makes me feel like a freak even if they all know what happened to me."

Placing a hand gently under her chin, Arnold directed her to face him. "My love, you aren't a freak. None of them were looking at you like that."

Putting the sketchpad down, Helga moved to kiss him softly. "Why are you always so sweet to me?"

Kissing him again, she enjoyed the slight intake of air which caused him to open his lips slightly. Slowly she ran her tongue slowly against his lips. Feeling his tongue against hers, Helga didn't waste time to allow him entrance. She needed him far too much making her not realize she was sitting on his lap till she felt arm press against her back to support her. Feeling her chest beginning to press more against him, Helga knew she was drinking him in like water. Was she pressing her luck doing this? What if she suddenly began to panic? Will he really be this understanding?

Enjoying the taste of her, even Arnold wondered if she will suddenly freak out. He prayed that she didn't. Prayed he would be allowed to hold her for longer. Prayed to kiss her for a very long time. Feeling her hand run down the length of his arm, Arnold was curious of what she was wanting to do as he soon felt her hand guiding his arm up to touch her breast. His eyes opened to find her eyes still closed. They were relaxed.

"Please." She begged.

Gently, Arnold fondled her softly both enjoying the roundness of them, but also nervous of what this might do to her. Feeling her hand once again on him, Arnold felt his hand being guided to move under her shirt. Opening his eyes up again, Helga was now looking at him.

"I need your touch on me, Arnold. I trust you. I love you."

Helga's voice was so soft in tone that Arnold did as she wanted to first brush against her silky texture of her skin to where he was now touching her lacy bra. With her nipple now erect, Arnold continued to love her up gently. Watching those blue eyes close slowly and her head tip back a bit, Helga released a shuttering breath against the feeling. She felt safe with him. Felt so loved. Bringing her head back up, Helga kissed him again.

Arnold heard footsteps drawing near making him move back his head. "Someone is coming upstairs." He whispered out. Allowing her leave his lap, he had to bring his legs up to try to hide his problem from appearing. Hearing a knock he allowed whomever to step inside.

Opening the door, Gertie looked between Arnold and Helga as they sat there with Helga looking at the sketchpad in her lap. "Arnold. Helga. We could order a pizza for you both if you want that for lunch. It wouldn't be a problem."

"Sure. I like pretty much anything on my pizza. Thank you." Helga said softly.

"You know what I love, Grandma. Thanks." Arnold hoped his tone of voice wasn't portraying anything far too telling right now.

"Alright dears. I'll order it right now."

Leaving the room, Arnold was grateful that she at least closed the door making him lay his legs out straight. "Whoa."

Giving off a tiny smirk, Helga examined him. "I know. You really are a great kisser. How much time does the pizza get here?"

"Thirty minutes. Why?"

Moving to get back on his lap, Helga hugged him. "I know you were afraid of doing that for me."

"I don't want to set you off. I care so much about you, Helga."

Loving the feel of his arms around her, Helga kissed him. "I know you do." Giving him another kiss, Helga then removed herself off his lap to walk over to his couch to sit there with the sketches in her hand. Patting the space next to her, Helga went back to the drawings. "Did you enjoy feeling my breast at least?"

Clearing his throat, Arnold nodded his head while pointing at something on the drawing she had displayed. "Tell me if you remember where this is from?"

Seeing a familiar animal on there, Helga began to laugh. "Oh you put that there as a joke."

"Yep. Fourth grade before you spilled that paint on me."

Putting the pad down again, Helga tackled him on the couch to lay him down on it. "Brat." She giggled.

"You love it."

She did. "Close your eyes please."

Doing as she instructed, Arnold heard some rustling before he felt his hands be brought up to something very soft, and pliable. Opening his eyes he found his hands on her naked breasts. "Helga?"

"I still want to feel you, Arnold. Please."

Touching her lovingly, Arnold only saw breasts in the movies or on the computer, this was his first time seeing them in person, and while he was happy it was hers, he was still nervous. Watching her do the same thing she did on the floor, Arnold was pulled into a dream. Her breasts, to him, are perfect. Sitting up, Arnold gently kissed them adoring how she looked at him before tilting her head back in almost uneven breathing now.

Hearing Arnold's name called, Helga moved to get off him. "They're calling you."

Pressing his hand against his front, Arnold had to think of the most unattractive things while moving to stand up. "Coming!" He called back making his way slowly to his door to head down.

Clasping her bra back on, and moving her shirt back into place, Helga sat back happy she did something so bold. She was pushing herself into something. She hoped she didn't have the type of relapse that might end her up in an asylum.

As they ate their food, they were watching some independent film on television. Informing them that his grandparents were going shopping, they settled in comfortable silence before Arnold went to grab another tinier sketchpad to show her pictures he drew of her. They ranged from when she was much younger till now. Smiling at the soft lines that he used, Helga felt the love in what he did.

"It's weird to say it when these are me, but these are remarkable." Helga was tempted in running her fingers along the lines to trace it all. "You are a beautiful artist."

"It's easy when you inspire me."

Placing the sketchpad gently down, Helga turned to him for a kiss. "Is the door locked?"

"Yes. Why?"

Removing her top, she soon got rid of her bra. "Not unless you don't like this."

"Are you kidding me? You realize how much I wanted to see you like this. Well you know what I mean. Helga you are like this fantasy come to life. Do you want me to just touch you?"

Nodding her head, Helga moved to straddle his lap. "Yes please."

Doing as she wanted again, Arnold soon found himself lost again. "You are so sexy." He breathed out before placing a mouth on her.

Helga noticed he was a bit bolder in his attentions. The way his hands were fondling her to the way his mouth became a bit bolder. It was strange how she was losing herself with him as her own hands brushed down her body to move towards his own. Feeling so heated she wondered if she should really be doing this. Was she violating her own health this way? Glancing down to his face she couldn't help but smile in the way he looked. It was so endearing for someone just paying attention to her breasts.

"This feels good actually."

He thought her voice sounded like she just woke up from a pleasant dream. "Does it?"

Running a finger along the outline of his face, Helga couldn't help herself from falling deeper for him. "Yes. Please keep touching me."

"Where?"

Somehow something snapped in her as she stood up. She felt in a haze. Was this really proper for her to do now? Just this morning she was feeling horrible and now she is undressed in front of the boy she loved for so long. It felt really safe in his arms. Felt so right with him touching her, but she did feel that fear.

"Helga?" It was hard to discern what she could possibly be thinking. Standing up, Arnold didn't wish to touch her in case something was being triggered.

Helga wanted herself back. She didn't want to be this stranger anymore. Approaching him, Helga remained silent as she undid his pants. "Please let me."

The way she begged him in such a sweet pleading way let him stay remaining where he was. Helga had to take the lead in all things in this relationship. He did hope that when he asks her she will accept freely with her own mind, and not the mind wishing to rush things. "Always anything for you." Feeling his pants fall down he remained there for her inspection.

Her breath caught. Her throat felt dry just peering at him. She was nervous about pulling down his boxers so listening to her brain, Helga moved her hand through the slit in front to touch him. Listening to his now shuddering breath, Helga slowly went to his face to see the excitement there. Testing herself out she moved her hand.

"Oh." It was such a strangled sound coming from him as he enjoyed her there. "My Helga."

Her mouth opened slightly hearing him declare that as she brought her hand out to slip his boxers down. Helga brought her eyes down to his manhood finding it daunting to look at, but not in that frightening way. "Am I really?" She asked sweetly.

"I always thought so." He moved his hand to touch her hair. "I've been wanting to ask you to by my girlfriend for some time now." Moving to kiss her, Arnold needed to ask his question. "I'm not pressuring you, Helga. Can I be your boyfriend?"

"In spite of all this?" She was so unsure of his own question. "We may be doing this right now, but who knows when we'll ever get any further."

"Helga, that doesn't matter in the whole scope of things. What I want is the girl that I love. I've always taken the good and the bad when it came to us." Kissing her again, Arnold loved the feel of her lips against him. "I'm still here aren't I? I haven't ran off."

"That just shows me that you are a sucker for punishment then." She joked lightly. "I would love to have you as my boyfriend, but does that mean you are canceling our date?"

"Nope. That is still on unless you change your mind." Feeling her hand back down there, Arnold gasped.

Seeing him looking almost like putty, Helga guided his hand up to her again. "I'm not changing my mind about our date."

It was 4 when Miriam stopped by to pick up Helga. Saying her thank you's and good nights, Helga got in the car with her mom sliding into the passenger seat. Before Helga put her seat belt on she leaned over to kiss her mom on the cheek as her way of thanking her. Miriam didn't say much as she reached out to touch her daughters cheek with her hand. She understood her more now than she ever did before.

* * *

 **A/N: Yes it may seem strange to go from one extreme to another, but it happens. It makes for one crappy roller coaster.**

 **Appreciate the reviews I have been given here and the support.**


	11. Chapter 11

"I know lunch is far more exciting when you are in the cafeteria isn't it?"

Helga's mouth quirked a bit at Dr Bliss's sense of humor. It was the day after her breakdown and rather then head to her office, Dr Bliss came to the school to chat with her. Right now Helga was trying to munch on her sandwich as the tried to remain not so gross doing it. You know, the possibility of lip smacking or being a slob while eating in front of a dignified person, kind of deal.

"Oh yeah. The smells and the cheerleader talk always does it for me doc." Helga shot back with a slight wink. "Mostly cafeteria food smells like a chicken coop at times."

Dr Bliss's head jerked at that disgusting image. "Hmmm. Tell me more about yesterday. I know you told me about those drawings Arnold did for you, is there anything more?"

Shyly, Helga's just turned completely red as she started to pick her sandwich. "Maybe."

The dragging out of that word clued her in that there were a lot of details she hadn't spoke of yet. "Would you care to share them with me?"

She knew she had to. Knew it was part of her recovery. "There is." Studying the mostly unused office, Helga took in a deep breath. "I kissed him a lot. I also had this urge for him to touch me."

Dr Bliss paused over her notebook to listen to her. To stop for a question would result in Helga pulling back.

"I placed his hand on my breast just to feel something good." Releases a short expanse of air. "I trust him. Love him. I just wanted to feel his hands on me when all I felt that night and in the bathroom was that assholes. I didn't panic."

"Mmm hmmm."

"We stopped for a bit because we were interrupted by, Gertie to ask about pizza." Somehow she felt like she was doing something bad though, Helga knew that she was listening to her. "After pizza and us watching a movie, well I took off my bra. He didn't just grab me, I guided him to touch me again, and we went further. We mostly did that and one other thing. I took his pants off." Hesitating, Helga felt like she was sweating. "Of course it is daunting to see a penis. Well for me it is as much as it is his penis. First I touched him through his boxers and then I took them off. I didn't scream or anything of the such. We talked and he did ask if he could be my boyfriend to which I answered yes."

Examining her patient, Bliss did note her being very nervous naturally on telling this to her, but it was a different type of state of hesitancy. "Were there any thoughts as it was happening?"

"I mostly had this one thought. Am I being healthy with myself by pushing it? Will this manifest itself to the point of me rushing myself into something far more disturbing? I trust Arnold's thoughts. It is me that wasn't sure."

Clasping her hands together, Bliss leaned back in her chair to place her hands on her lap. "When this all was happening, did you not like it truthfully?"

Glancing down to her feet, Helga twisted them some. "Actually him touching me felt exhilarating. Even touching him felt the same. I am just worried that I'm rushing myself."

Raising her well manicured hand up, Bliss smiled with the utmost sincerity. "You are one of the lucky few who has friends that support her. Also family. You have a boyfriend that you can trust and loves you back very deeply. True you'll have setbacks and you have a long road ahead of you. Some who don't have all of that take a far more longer road into another relationship. There are some that are so extreme that they rush into something with someone who doesn't care a lick about them. Those are also the ones that don't often have people who care for them."

A thought sprang up as she told her all of that. "I won't ask about anything more, but has Roxie called you?"

"Indeed she has. I had one session at her home already. She really is a lovely young lady. It is good that you care enough to ask."

"I want her better too. Thanks for seeing her."

It was never a problem for her to do those things. "She is one of them that will take a long time to heal. You are a very caring young lady."

Almost guffawing at that last remark since no one dared think that years ago. "I'll visit her in the hospital next weekend."

"I'm sure she'll like that. Also Helga, the ones that rush themselves are the ones who have that nervousness as a whole. You are pretty certain of your feelings. It is only a part of you that is scared. I believe you are mostly scared of losing him."

Watching how she was fiddling with the tip of her pen, Helga could only give her a sly sideways smile. That woman should stop being so brilliant half the time so the rest of them could catch up.

* * *

When it came to going out with Arnold later on, Helga thought to wear a dress instead of pants knowing where he was taking her. She hadn't wore a skirt or a dress since that day always opting to be completely covered up, and appear unattractive. Not like she thinks she is attractive. She never thought that finding the attention of males weird even now.

When Arnold was at the door he was wearing a dark suit leaving her a little breathless. Also it continued to leave her that way as he drove to the restaurant that was the scene of their now infamous Valentines date all those many years ago now. Being brought in, they were showed the same table they sat at then. Helga wasn't surprised when he pulled her chair out for her to help her sit. Her consummate gentleman.

Arnold loved the fact she was wearing a dress. She wasn't wearing a colorful dress, but a black one. It was rather strange for him to see, but lately all her clothes she was dressing in were dark in nature. "You look beautiful tonight."

Blushing, Helga could only smile at that compliment before she told him her observations. "You aren't used to me dressing in such drab colors. You are use to me in pink mostly."

Eyes shooting wide open he knew not to deny it. "True, but I'm certain it is because of what happened."

"Yeah. I'd rather remain unnoticed by the opposite sex pretty much. You are an exception of course, but other than that, I wouldn't mind the cloak of invisibility." Watching him fidget with his water glass, Helga reached out to touch his hand. "Regretting this?"

Taking her hand in his, Arnold shook his head as his jaw was set to make sure she listens. "Never and I understand why you need to ask this question, but Helga I told you that I am firm in my decision to be with you. What I was thinking was this; I wish I could invent a time machine that could let us go back in time to stop that thing from ever happening to you. I just want you to stop hurting so much. This is what I was thinking."

Wanting to say something they were interrupted by a greying waiter asking them what they wished to have. Embarrassed they both told him that they hadn't the time to look over the menu just yet. Hearing a very audible sniff in the air from him the waiter vanished. "I guess he loves his job so much here that he can't leave it."

Snickering as silently as possible, Arnold failed when he snorted out. "He does provide that perfect ambiance for a French restaurant."

"Too true, Monsieur. Nose in the air. The haughty attitude. I bet he stuffs the smelly cheese on his person too." Winking at him, Helga enjoyed his not so silent giggling as they both raised up their menus. "Arnold, it really is a nice sentiment. I love you for it."

After ordering, they chatted some more as the food arrived, and they ate. Helga enjoyed his company. She informed him next week she'll visit Roxie in the hospital. She won't invite him with her since Roxie might be unhappy by it. She wanted Roxie to feel better too.

After dinner ended, they were driving for a pretty long time making Helga wonder where he was taking her. Seeing the old FTi building that was now a hotel, Helga and him went inside to head up to the balcony where she confessed her love to him when they were nine. Helga's heart was going off as they went through the door and she literally heard his younger voice calling out to her as her alias. Then she heard her highly passionate confession to him. Wandering to the very spot she landed on her behind, Helga leaned against it.

"This takes me back." She breathed out as she looked over the landscape which was far more done up now than before.

Arnold loved watching the breeze play with her hair. Loved how she sounded right now. "If you confess to me all over again, I guarantee you that I won't duck that kiss."

He sounded so adorable as she turned towards him. "Oh kiss me you big lug." Helga spoke in a far more seductive tone.

Closing the gap, Arnold pressed her against him. "Whatever you say Helga."

"Exactly. Whatever I say, Arnoldo." Feeling his lips pressing against her, Helga fell into him more.

Man he should of kissed her back then too. Arnold was filled with regrets of all the things he should of done with her. When he realized his feelings he should of said something right from the start. She never would of been raped. Well maybe it would of happened if they still made her go to that school. Damn, he hated not having her around in the same building as him. She made life exciting even if she was just sitting in one position. Those facial expressions she offered always held such a promise of more. The more that always ended up with more exciting things. He stopped minding the arguments a long while back. Helga always had such a way of jump starting his brain.

Pulling away from her slightly, Arnold rested his forehead against hers. "I really should of kissed you back then."

Helga could only giggle back. At least this other part of her dreams came true. It is still horrible in how she lost the one thing she wanted to share with him. Feeling moisture tick her eyes, Helga went back to kissing him. At least he gets her heart. No one stole that away from her.

On the way back home, Arnold noticed she was quiet again. He tried to touch her, but she shrank away. "Helga you know you can't hide whatever it is that is on your mind."

"He was in the lobby checking in with a girl."

Her voice was so low that he had to strain his ears to listen. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I felt that memory again." Maybe getting into a relationship was too soon.

"My angel." Was all he could say for the moment when he felt her thoughts. "You are regretting this, aren't you?"

Closing her eyes, Helga was letting him down. "I love you so much Arnold, but I'm not being fair here. I have such a long road ahead of me."

"You know you aren't letting me go that easily."

Helga smiled just a little as she requested that he pull over. Finding themselves at some type of look out point, Helga moved closer to him to straddle him just to wrap her arms around him. He might find someone not so damaged to deal with. She couldn't be selfish even if she wanted to. This was being done with such a heavy heart.

"I love you so much, Helga." Arnold wanted to cry himself, but he couldn't. She was probably thinking that he will find someone. That is very hard to do when you know the perfect person for you is right there. He'll wait. There are some things that was worth the wait. Feeling her tears, Arnold continued to comfort her.

* * *

"So you broke it off with him just when you got together. I know what you are thinking, Helga, and it is the right thing to do for now." Phoebe comforted her the next day. "Are you afraid he'll find someone else?"

"Naturally I am, but I don't want him to deal with so much of this. Will it hurt me to see? Yes. I love him so much and I would do so much for him. I know he would for me too. The thing is, as much as I see his support, and see his strength, I see him hurting so much inside." Brushing her finger along the windowsill she knew her frown was much bigger than before.

"As your friend he'll still be in that boat. Didn't you think about that?"

"Yes so that is why I'm so confused. I hate how my mind has become. I thought I was unsure of so much before, but now it makes me want to scream everyday. How am I living when I still feel so dead?" There was that question being brought forth. She still felt so dead inside in spite of the love she feels for one guy.

* * *

 **A/N: Triggers suck. She isn't being a tease and she isn't being selfish. You often go back and forth in this whole deal.**


	12. Chapter 12

*1 Year Later*

"How am I living when I feel so dead?" Helga asked out loud to the half sea of people in front of her in the auditorium. "It has been one year since it happened, and there are times that I'm still questioning it. Am I lucky? Am I not? How can I be lucky to survive such an attack on my being when I feel so dead inside? The only answer I could still give is this; I don't know."

"I'm not great anymore with public speaking because I get so overwhelmed. Not only was I attacked by this guy, I was attacked by the very people who were supposed to be there to protect me. Since that day I had the support of my family. My friends. I met another who was also attacked and while our recovery times are vastly different, we still have a lot in common. Am I brave? I don't know. There are times I feel so brave. Other times I'm scared of my own shadow. Thank goodness for the support I have that brings me strength to carry on." Helga paused to look at everyone, including her family and friends. Pausing momentarily more to smile at Arnold, she felt her heart lift.

"Right now I feel like running off this stage and crying, but the way I see those who support me, I feel strong enough to carry on. The only thing sad about this journey is the fact that he is still out there. He is out there because no one believed me. I know this is why my wound is still as large as that one day. I wish a punch in the face from the one person I still love was enough. If people believed me at that school, I believe that the closure will help. Right now there is none. Right now it is just me talking. Trying to help others little by little." Taking the mic in her hand, Helga decided to walk past her torment.

"I'm not writing still. This is something that I know that halted because of the block I received that day." She paused to take a deep breath. "I don't want any more women to suffer this, and I hope no one else has been attacked by that thing. I pray it. I just know that if it does happen and they need the support, I'll be there for them. For myself. For others. This won't be the last you hear from me, and if he truly thinks he has defeated me, he has another thing coming to him. I'm not going to off myself. I once wanted to, but nevermore. I'm curious with what my life will become. Maybe I'll marry the guy of my dreams." Smiles over to Arnold. "Maybe I'll write again and dance around after to celebrate. Maybe all this horrible thing called rape will come to an end. I can dream. All of us can. My name is, Helga Pataki, and I'm here to tell my story."

Hearing the clapping, Helga waved at them as she shyly handed over the mic to the host before leaving the stage. In the back her skin became flushed before becoming red. Drinking down some offered water, Helga watched as her family came backstage to hug her. Olga was there too. After that one day, Olga called to apologize for her actions and what she said to her. Helga thought it was better to forgive and give a second chance.

"Oh Helga, that was wonderful. I'm so proud of you." Olga gushed as her mascara started to run. Helga had to applaud her for not squeaking so much.

Helga could only smile shyly still as she continued to drink water. Who knew that much speaking would do this to you? Seeing Phoebe, Gerald, and Arnold come back. She received her hug from her best friend while giving Gerald a fist bump. With Arnold, she stepped into his arms for a hug.

"You were fantastic, Helga." Arnold commended happily. "So you still love me, eh?"

Helga snickered against him. "Of course I do and you know this. We did talk last night remember." Pulling back she kissed his cheek.

"Pity Roxie couldn't come." Arnold said as he held her hand.

Arnold and Helga didn't get back together, but there a lot of times they acted more like a couple then just friends. He would tell her how much he loves her and so does she. Helga did ask him why didn't he go out with other girls when they asked him out, and he kept telling her that even though she ended it for health reasons, he didn't. It was hard to argue with him.

"The medicine got her sick. It sucks with how much she has to take. At least one thing she is comfortable around you." Helga said before kissing his cheek. "Anyone can tell that you are a very trustworthy man."

"Hey! What about me, Pataki?" Gerald blurted out as he held Phoebe's hand. They began to date during the summer.

Helga decided to wait to answer him before his question repeated. "She likes you Gerald. She likes hearing your urban tales."

"I have a question for you." Arnold whispered in her ear. "Would you like to be my date for the dance?"

Blushing, Helga pulled back to nod her head. Kissing him on the cheek again she had a feeling what Phoebe would say later on.

"Baby sister." Olga called out gently with her twinkling voice. "Are you sure you don't want to come with us to Alaska?"

"I'm sure. Thanks for asking, but I don't want to miss school. Remember that I'm staying at Phoebe's." Helga smiled as kindly as possible to her.

"Oh alright." Bringing her in for a tight squeeze, Olga then pulled back to give her a sloppy kiss on the forehead. "I love you."

Resisting the urge to wipe off her forehead in her presence, Helga smiled out her own response before being brought into her parents arms. "Have a safe flight. Love ya guys."

"We love you too honey. Be good." Miriam said as they pulled back.

"Darn, and I was about to get a tattoo too. Shucks." Doing her best to slap her knee, she heard her friends snickering behind her.

Bob kissed her temple. "You and that sense of humor. Have fun at Phoebe's."

"I will dad. Bye." Watching her parents drift off slowly from her waving still, Helga turned around to face her three friends. "I could so use some ice cream."

Taking her hand, Arnold grinned wildly. "Then let's go hunt some down."

Arnold and Helga strolled away hand in hand while the two remaining friends walking a little away from them just so they could converse about their friend's relationship. They both agreed it was strange that the both of them aren't a couple anymore, but always clearly acted like it in public.

"I heard her speech, but is she really not serious about a relationship? Look at them! They are obviously a couple. When he turns down chicks he tells them he's taken. What do you think?" Gerald spotted how now Arnold wrapped his arm around her waist as Helga leaned her head against him.

"If I say this it remains between us. I mean it Gerald. Do you want no kisses for an entire week?"

Eyes wide, Gerald couldn't do that. "I swear! Anything to keep getting sugar from my honey."

"Helga does think about it from time to time, but when she is close to asking she chickens out. The reason for this is because she still experiences nightmares from time to time. It still isn't as bad as Roxie's, but it gets there at times." Phoebe explained as best as she could without going through too much detail. "I do know that Arnold is healthy for her."

At Slauson's, Arnold and Helga sat to one side of the table while Phoebe and Gerald sat on the other. Saying they both needed to use the bathroom, Helga took that opportunity to kiss, Arnold. Yes there were plenty of moments like this making her wonder what is her damn deal besides the painfully obvious. Feeling his tongue slip inside her mouth, she couldn't help but smile.

"There's an elephant in the room." Arnold whispered out since he was afraid of losing contact with her lips.

"No, they are both in the bathroom." Helga joked before turning serious. "About us?"

"Yes. We act like a couple all the time. When you are alone in my room we are constantly petting. I'm not rushing you, I'm curious what you have been thinking lately." Pulling back slightly, Arnold had that strong urge to pull her against him to continue kissing.

Helga had to briefly pause the constant churning of the other gears in her head. The one that thinks of academics or other items that would be considered frivolous. "It is going to be the strangest thing to say to you perhaps." She hoped he didn't think she was crazy. "I'm not using this as an excuse, but I need that voice in my head to tell me when will it be the right time. I'm sorry if it looks like I'm wasting your time."

"You aren't though. I'm curious. You are looking for that sign." Touching her hair, Arnold marveled at the sparkle in her eyes as he always often did. That once heavy darkness in the beginning after all that happened to her, he noticed some light coming right back. It wasn't fully there, but it was enough for some hope. "I love you, Helga. I don't want anyone else. I look forward to everything wonderful about you. Whether if I just hear your voice, to see you simply standing there, it is everything about you. I hope you are finally seeing it."

Enjoying the feeling of his hands going through her hair, Helga loved how he already did so much for her. They built that garden on top of her parents house. He's been incredibly patient with her. He has been so loving. He is her everything. "I am. I am still scared, but I am." Seeing Gerald and Phoebe coming towards them, Helga pressed her forehead against his. "Maybe I'll surprise you with something for the dance."

"I look forward to it." Watching their friends slide into the booth, Arnold resumed his previous sitting position next to her. Facing forward with his hand in hers under the table.

* * *

Roxie was out in the garden in a lounge chair when Helga stopped by. Waiting for her to settle in the chair next to her, Roxie needed to know. "How often do those nightmares come for you?"

Helga knew that if she is asking this then it means she is having them way too much. "It has become once or twice a week now. More if something sets me off. Have you been telling, Dr Bliss any of this?"

"Yeah, and she keeps at those techniques. They aren't working for me so I wonder what you do."

"I talk about it like you are. Before I use to lay on the hard ground to get rid of them as you know. I listen to Arnold's songs to me. That one really calms me down. I also have been drawing." Turning her head to study her, Helga saw how short she cut her hair after she began to lose it from one type of medication she was taking. "Enlist one of your hobbies and if that doesn't help, find a new one. I'm sure she suggested this."

Trying to place her hand through her hair, Roxie forgot what a pixie cut she now held on the top of her head. "She has, but once again I was curious about you."

"I know Rhonda has comforted you at night when you can't sleep. At least that is a good thing."

"It is, but I don't like doing that to them. None of them have complained but it feels to be too much."

Helga not only heard this complaint from herself, but others she has also met. No one wanted to be a burden. Also the hurt they see in someone's eyes seemed to kill them more. "Your whole family is here for you. They love you. I'm also here for you as is, Dr Bliss. This is a tough situation so many have to understand that this isn't an overnight fix."

Chewing at her nail, Roxie enjoyed the breeze that flowed gently in. While she hated the medication, at least she had been able to stay up an hour past the previous times. "Still contemplating, Arnold?"

"We act like we are in this complete relationship right now, but we don't label it, well Arnold labels it as us being a couple. I label it as friends." Staring at a daisy, Helga remembered when Arnold was taking care of her because he felt so guilty beaning her on the head. "I know the sign I'm looking for, and when I receive it, I'll go to him. I've been crazy about him all my life, and when I tried to forget about him, I couldn't."

"He's your limb." Roxie figured out softly. "Arnold is a really nice guy. Even I had a easy time trusting him. It was strange to feel that way. To me, he reminds me of a brother. With Gerald, I feel like he is this walking storybook." She smiles at that comparison.

Helga heard that before too, mostly from Arnold and Phoebe. "Not the first time I heard that, and I'm certain not the last time either."

"I still wonder if I'll ever have a normal relationship in my entire life."

Reaching out to take her hand, Helga gave it a very encouraging, but gentle, squeeze. "You will, but keep this in mind, what is normal?"

Roxie couldn't help but bring back a little laugh while her head jerked back. "Too true. What is normal?"

Roxie examined Helga's profile just taking a chance in doing so since her eyes were closed. If anyone else saw her right now they would see it as unreadable, but Roxie's thoughts were beginning to scream at her. Tracing down from her face down to her arm to her hand, she examined Helga's hand in hers.

"This also is a really nice garden to spend time in." Helga's remark sounded so dreamy.

It was and Roxie enjoyed it instead of being in the concrete jungle. Yes there was Central Park, but in truth you wanted a little garden oasis of your own. She remembered being at her Grandmother's house when she was seven just playing around in her gorgeous garden. A smile played up on her face as that memory took up her entire thoughts. She guessed it was the mentioning of the garden. She had her happy memory of that garden where her Grandmother would bring out cookies and lemonade. Brushing her finger against Helga's hand, Roxie wanted to share.

"I found my happy memory."

Helga was noticing how she was touching her hand. It didn't disturb her, it just had her examining the very relaxed expression on Roxie's face. "Then keep it and hold on to it."

"I will. Thanks for helping me bring that memory up. You triggered it." Opening her eyes, Roxie stared right into, Helga's.

There were some triggers that were good having.

* * *

 **A/N: I really appreciate the reviews everyone. Also talking in front of anyone is a huge AHHHHH to me. :/**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Oops! I almost went a little crazy deleting things earlier in my saved documents. Thank you for the reviews. :)**

* * *

Running over to her locker during lunch time, Helga slid up to it immediately grasping the combination lock. Dialing up her numbers, she opened it up to get the book to give to Phoebe. Grabbing it she spotted a letter in there. It had been a while since she received any notes so to find one again had her bringing it up to read.

Dear Helga,

I watch you every day wishing I could ask you to the dance. A dance that Arnold is taking you to. He has been always far too lucky to be the keeper of your heart while I stay in the shadows admiring you from afar. I've always been shy with you until your poetry that you recite brings me to you. I'm hypnotized by your words. Your passion. It is a passion that will never die just like my admiration will never cease. Do I love you? Yes I do. Can I have you? That is a no. You belong with one and he is the one that has finally returned your heart.

Love forever,  
Brainy.

Hearing heavy breathing, Helga whirled around in fright. Her eyes were wide as she found Brainy with his hands up in the air issuing out silently that he isn't there to harm her. Releasing a very deep and long sigh, Helga placed a hand to her heart.

"Sorry. I am sure the breathing triggers something in you." Brainy spoke more than a couple of words. She knew he had before, but it still came as a shock. "I even used my inhaler before approaching you, but it is always bad."

Her smile was very shaky as she tried to find the words to speak to him as she pointed to her heart to indicate the wild beating of it. Her knees felt weak. Closing her eyes for a moment had that guy right at her face slamming her against the wall. This prompted her to gasp for air as she lurched forward towards him. To safety as she held him. She noticed that Brainy wasn't breathing as hard as usual with this action. It was either this or she was in her own world being attacked. Being ripped open from the inside.

Brainy was worried as he held on to her. He tried to soothe her. Tried to say the right things, but found his shirt becoming more wet where her head laid. She needed someone with far more experience than him. Lifting his phone up he texted Arnold that Helga had an episode by her locker. He would of texted Phoebe, but he didn't have her number. He did hang out with Arnold more when it came to male activities than Phoebe.

"What can I do, Helga?" Brainy requested quietly.

"There are times I want to never close my eyes, Brainy." Was all she could say as they both heard a pair of feet approaching them. She sensed Phoebe and Arnold coming towards them. "Thanks, Brainy."

Brainy watched as she latched onto Arnold now. Watched in his own helplessness as he carried Helga away in his arms into an empty classroom with Phoebe beside them. He felt guilt feeling he was the main cause this time for the trigger. When he heard that she still hears his breathing in her face, he was careful in never approaching her. Why did he think that after a year, she would be fine finely with him doing so? Feeling a hand clasp down on his shoulder, he turned his head to Gerald.

Gerald spotted the sorrow in his eyes. "Don't blame yourself. Blame that bastard."

"I love her and she is hurting. I wish I can help." Brainy admitted his feelings. He wasn't ashamed of them now. He didn't think after all these years anyone would pick on him for them. Gerald squeezed his shoulder gently.

"Well it wasn't a big surprise to us that you love her. As for helping, you are. You are still her friend. If you didn't care, you wouldn't of texted us. You wouldn't of comforted her." Gerald saw how his attention was drawn to the classroom they went in. "She went into your arms. She trusts you. If you were a stranger or some random in this school, she wouldn't of done that. You helped her just now. Understand that."

Brainy took a step away from him. "Please make sure to tell her that I hope her nightmares end."

It was depressing to hear him and see him act like that. Gerald's mouth thinned as he watched him slink off with his head hanging low. Turning back to the room he watched them go into, he followed inside to see Helga sitting on one of the desktops swinging her legs. She appeared like a little kid right then.

"I hope Brainy doesn't feel too bad." Helga had such a low voice.

Gerald couldn't say how exactly Brainy felt knowing she would be feeling guilty herself. "He told me to tell you that he hopes that your nightmares end."

A slight smile appeared on her face as he watched, Phoebe now rub her back. "I hope so too, Gerald. I hope so too." Lifting her head up, her eyes found Arnold's. "Doesn't seem to matter with how much time passes that the son of a bitch still can rule your life as much as you fight it."

"Wouldn't mind putting his feet in concrete and throwing him into the water so he can suffer." Arnold's voice was so cold and so foreign to them still when he spoke with such hatred. It was always when it came to this subject. Anything else he would be Mr Brightside.

"I wish that too, Football Head." That seemed to calm Arnold down a little as he approached her to cup her face in his hands. "Want to put that in an American Greetings card?"

Arnold snickered at her weakly as he leaned down to kiss her on the lips. Phoebe and Gerald knew what was happening between them. "Maybe I will, Angel."

* * *

As the week passed, Helga found herself in her room with their homework forgotten on the floor now scattered. In his lap they were both kissing becoming much more heavier than that one time or previous moments where they just mostly petted. Feeling intensely from their feelings, Helga lifted herself from him to move away from the bed. They were alone in her house with her mom working overtime and her father working overtime himself due to a blow out sale.

She watched his eyes following her wondering what she could possibly be thinking right now. She decided to head to her closet to remove her clothing and to slip her robe on. When she came out, she headed to her door turning the handle slowly. "Coming?"

The invitation was so soft sounding prompting him to scan those eyes to see she was filled with confidence. She was sure. Nodding dumbly, Arnold followed her to the bathroom where he locked the door behind him as she turned on the shower. He knew she was still scrubbing herself almost to death at times so he wondered if it was recently. Observing her walking towards him, Arnold kept his eyes where her hands were as she slowly removed the tie to reveal what lied underneath. He already knew half of it, but not completely. She is perfection with how toned she was making him wonder how often did she really work out to bring forth such a body.

Robe now removed and placed on the hook behind him, Helga walked back to climb in the tub. Arnold removed his clothing feeling almost robotic till he walked over to the door to slide it open to climb in. He was met with a kiss. He wasn't dreaming, this is real. It felt even more intimate with the water hitting and gliding down their bodies while their skin touched. It was erotic to the point he felt he was about to release right then. This was the bathroom. It was a place she feared even in her own house, and she brought him in there. Was this her therapy for herself? Was he part of it?

Feeling her hand brush down his body, Arnold couldn't breath at feeling where her hand was going. His head tilted down to meet those azure eyes. She was as aroused as him.

"Do you feel confused by us?" Her question was begging for a truthful answer.

"No." He answered honestly as he felt her hand move. "I know how you feel about me still, just like how you know how I feel about you." It almost was too hard to concentrate. "Can I do something?"

"I trust you, so yes."

He loved when her voice was soft like that. He also loved when she used her more powerful voice. He did have to look at her eyes for assurance before moving himself slowly down to his knees making sure to kiss her all the way down. When he reached the area he had thought about, Arnold kissed her once more. He guided his hand up to support her knowing how hesitant she still was with walls. He wanted to help her. He was strong enough to hold her up and to keep her steady.

It was the strangest feeling to have him do what he was doing, but it was such an elation. Her knees weakened and loved how he supported her. The man knew how to really love someone. He was the man she wanted to think about constantly and not that creature. Bringing him in here was a good thing all around.

"Oh Arnold." Her head tilted back feeling him enter her in another way. She dared not to close her eyes even as she released. It was a hard thing to do, and feeling her knees buckled and him support her, she saw how he was leaning against the wall. "I love you so much."

"I love you too."

"Is there anything else I can do for you?" Helga felt like this was him giving everything to her with her not doing anything in return. His smile was far too sweet for her almost to bare.

"You've done everything for me, Helga. You returned my heart."

He really had to say that to her? Doesn't he know how he weakens her at times? The second he gets this mushy with her, her bones feel like noodles. Her heart beats like crazy feeling like her being the sole use of every percussion that existed. He was perfect to her and all she wanted to do was get better so she can shower him with even more love.

* * *

Brsiny was surprised when Helga sat next to him in the quad area. He had been sitting alone for a long time since her telling others about what happened to her. Well screamed out in the middle of the hallway. Since then, he picked a spot to keep himself as far from her as possible. Also since that other time in the hallway, he felt it was best to just keep away.

"You know that I'm sorry for acting the way I did in the hallway." Helga spoke in earnest to him. "It really wasn't you, it was me. Closing my eyes can scare me since his image shows up."

He appreciated her coming to him to speak. Lifting up his inhaler, he took in the medicine just so he could speak. "Maybe, but I'm still so unhappy that happened. I've been keeping my distance afraid of scaring you."

She felt guilty for that. It wasn't his fault and here he was taking the brunt of something onto himself. "In the beginning I was afraid of having you too close. Afraid of hearing you breathing against me, but honestly Brainy, I don't want you staying away from me. I don't want you sneaking up to me." Taking his hand, Helga squeezed it. "You would never hurt me. I know how much you care for me."

"I love you and I wish that I can help you feel better." He loved the feeling of comfort she was offering him just with her words and those soft hands.

"Brainy, you are helping me by being a friend. I need that a lot. I also need you to stop segregating yourself from us." Standing up, Helga pulled him up. "You have a lot of friends wanting you to come back and this includes me."

Looking between her hand to her face, Brainy held a strong desire to hold her. "You really want your stalker back in the mix?"

One hand still holding his, she took her other to place on his shoulder. It was an eternity that she last punched him in the face, and though he was a stalker, he was her stalker. "It wouldn't be the same without you." Removing her hand from his shoulder she pulled him along.

"It I went that school you were in I would of stopped him from doing that to you."

Stopping, Helga kissed him on the cheek. "I know you would of. Now come on stalker, as you can see from their faces over there, they are expecting you back over."

Glancing up, Brainy spotted some happy faces beckoning him over while the others patiently waited. He felt it funny how he always was the outsider of the group. Well he was, but they seemed to accept him anyway. Strolling over there with her holding his hand, Brainy fantasized many pleasant things if she was with him instead of Arnold. Not that he hated Arnold, he just felt envy of him sometimes.

"Hey guys! Guess who's back?"

It was a rhetorical question from her as she released his hand to show a flick of her hand where he could sit next to Phoebe on the other side of the table. Sitting back down next to Arnold, she felt his hand go in hers. It felt like this crew didn't part ways at one time or another. Everyone sat at the same long table together with all their different personalities meshing together as one. Helga smiled a little thinking of it.


	14. Chapter 14

It was the night of the dance with her surprising Arnold wearing a pink dress for the evening. It had been some time since she wore anything that held any color and figuring how Arnold has been to her, she thought it would be a good thing to reward him in some small way. She had to admit that it was a great reward in how he couldn't stop holding her hand or having it securely around her waist. She did hate most of the songs they were playing, but danced to some of them anyhow just to have some fun.

At the table, Gerald, Phoebe, Arnold and herself were laughing at how Curly was dancing with Rhonda. They would be dancing very well together till she turned his back to him making him dance like a crazy maniac till she turned around. They knew he wasn't mocking her since it was his way of simply cutting to his craziness just to keep her happy for the rest of the night.

"You enjoying yourself tonight?"

He should know not to breath in her ear like that. With others she freaked out, but with Arnold she felt those moments alone with him take center stage. The way he held her. Touched her. Kiss her. It made her tremble in such a pleasurable way. "Yes. How about you?"

Taking a not so simple scan from her face to her lap, Arnold smiled almost too goofily. "Yes. Did I tell you how much I love that dress on you?"

"Since you first saw me." Giggling, she leaned in close to him for a kiss. "Did I tell you how handsome you look?"

Moving even closer to her, he kissed the corner of her mouth. "Since we first sat in the car."

Gerald and Phoebe were staring at their friends not acting like friends at all. Giving his girlfriend a silent signal, they both left the table to catch another dance. Wrapping his arms around her back, Gerald felt at immediate ease at how she rested her head against his chest.

"They are confusing me." Gerald mentioned.

Phoebe decided to dismiss his thoughts on that by nipping it in the bud. "Just go with the flow, Gerald. Let whatever will happen, happen."

"But."

"Just let it happen." Phoebe interrupted.

Helga giggled against Arnold as they both stood up to wave good bye to their friends. They had enough of the dance. Walking hand in hand out of the gym, they headed almost too slowly to the car as they spoke of the past when they were just kids.

"Harold even had that appetite at three. Remember when he took apart the macaroni that was already glued down to the house?" Helga asked as she practically leaned against him.

"He was always complaining that he was hungry."

In a voice as close to mimicking Harold she bellowed out, "But I'm hungry!"

Chuckling he hoped that Harold wasn't around to hear them. "I still remember the sweet little girl I met before you turned bully."

Rolling her eyes, she poked him. "I was sitting at my table swooning over you when Harold teased me making the others laugh in my face. I was so upset from that in combination with my family that I lost it. I thought it was the only way."

"I knew you weren't that bad, but unfortunately that reputation stuck."

"Unlike you, I was teased relentlessly for showing a bit of my true side. I tried not to let it bother me, but it did." Bowing her head down, she felt his arms wrap around her body.

"I'm sorry."

Pulling away from him, Helga began to walk again. "That is always getting tossed to me. I'm still sick of feeling like a damn charity."

"You know you aren't though, right?" Taking her hand again, Arnold squeezed it lovingly. "I know you aren't fond of it, but it does show that people care for you."

Still hating it, Helga continued on in silence as they reached the car to climb in. Hearing him ask if she wanted to head for ice cream she just told him that she was rather tired, and wanted to head home. Arnold didn't argue with her, but he was concerned. While he hated the pity, she felt that someone was just around the bend for them.

* * *

The next week, Dr Bliss had Roxie spend time at the park. Between home and school, Roxie never went out so Dr Bliss thought it was time for her to spread her wings. Roxie felt strange out in the open like this. Felt very exposed as if left naked for all the world to see. When a guy glanced in her direction, she would not only shy away, she would move as if that will take care of the problem.

"You know you cannot act like that towards all males. Not all will hurt you." Bliss declared easily as she watched another jogger look in the young girls direction. "You didn't think that of Arnold or Gerald."

Walking along the pathway, Roxie took in the scenery as they continued on in a very easy manner. "I found it easy with them. I thought of Arnold as my brother. With Gerald I began to think of him the same way. I can't think of every guy that way."

"No, but there will come a time when you will want more someday. I'm no saying now, but it will happen." Smiling at a monarch butterfly landing on some nearby flowers, Bliss turned her attention back to her to see her looking at someone. "Tell me what you are thinking right now."

Roxie knew she couldn't hide anything from the perceptive woman. "There are times I think it will be safer to be with my own sex. I never thought this way before. Lately I have whenever the girls are around." She looked away when another male jogger came past. "I never experienced these thoughts before until recently. When I see a guy I think of that guy doing that to me. Is this normal?"

Bliss nodded her head. "It is for some. There isn't anything wrong with that, but you need to be really sure or else you, and someone else might get hurt in the process. Some just attack sex again as if that will immediately cure them, but end up hurting more in the end."

"And in the case of Helga, she isn't doing that with Arnold. This much I know. If I knew someone like him in that way, then maybe I won't be so horrible." Running her teeth along her lower lip in thought, she blinked rapidly. "Then again, possibly not."

"Helga is different from yourself. Yes she is very lucky to have someone like him around. I even known him a long time to see a very trustworthy young man. He was pretty mature when he was nine. You don't see that too often."

Roxie had to agree with it as they continued to walk down the pathway during her entire therapy session. She wondered how many Psychiatrists would do this.

* * *

His morning was unexpected. Arnold was woken up very early in the morning by his Grandfather saying that there was someone there to see him downstairs. Confused to why they weren't sent up, Arnold went down to find himself face to face with his parent's old friend. It was something he was angry at as he accused this person for taking away his parents in the first place. It took plenty for his Grandparents to quiet his mood down so he could listen to, Eduardo. It was what he was listening to that made him sit in his room now in complete contemplation. Hearing the door, he bid whomever to come in. Glancing up, he found Helga standing there. She sensed his noisy mind as she went to him to sit by his side as he rehashed everything.

"So they requested for you to come personally to see you." Helga was leaning back to stare through the skylight. "You are afraid to go because of your Grandparents."

"And you." He added thoughtfully. "Couldn't they of sent me a message? No, they had to do it the hard way."

Watching him get up, she saw his anger making her prop herself up to examine him looking like a caged tiger. "Aren't you at least curious?"

"Well yeah, but it doesn't mean I should just drop everything to head over there. Why now? Why not before?" Turning around, Arnold found her in front of him. The way her eyes appeared seemed to be at so much peace. Why was she being like this right now?

"You haven't shut the door. There are still so many unanswered things right now. This is a way to help move on." Helga was afraid herself that he won't come back like his own parents, but she did have a point. "Even I have unanswered questions to why this happened to me."

Arnold quickly hugged her. "I'm afraid of leaving you and them behind. You are my life, Helga."

"Your mines too, but Arnold it is time to close the door."

"What if the same fate that happened to my parents happen to me?" He wasn't meaning to voice it at first, but he had to. Arnold could never lie very well.

Helga couldn't lie either. Not to him. "The thought crossed my mind too."

They fell into silence as he took her hand to lead her over to the couch to sit down. He did have a passport, but never thought it would come to use now. Arnold didn't want to leave her behind so what should he do?

"Come with me." Was his request. It sounded plain and simple, but he knew it wasn't truly the case. Arnold wanted her with him. Always will.

Time stopped for her as the gears in her head began to work as she thought of so much at the same time.


	15. Chapter 15

She knew it had been so much time since he spoke those words. He hadn't even said anything more while he waited patiently. She might lose him the same way he lost his own parents. Still, he had to do this due to the fact that he still questions so many things. Helga slumped a little against the cushions.

"My parents." Were the first words out of her mouth as she spoke in some sort of awe of the whole situation. "They still worry so much. I know I have to go out on my own instead of acting so frightened. I want to go with you too."

He knew that was the case. She loves him. She also loves her family. Maybe he is asking out of selfish reasons, but felt he couldn't live without his heart. It may of sounded corny to so many else, but he thought this. "We can talk to your parents together."

Helga finally turned her head to study his kind face. "You know what they'll say, but it needs to be done."

"Are they home?" She nods her head as he stands up to extend his hand. "Then shall we?"

Taking his hand, Helga stood up so they can leave the boarding house. She was afraid of losing him.

* * *

Bob and Miriam listened to everything Arnold was saying while their daughter sat beside him almost silently. Her parents spotted the worry in her own face, but can she sense their own? Helga did offer valid points in why he needed to go. Bob knew of what happened to Arnold's parents, and that worry was sitting in his mind.

"I do want to go with him." Helga's large eyes watched them with such hope. It was a hope that they were too afraid to squash.

"I'm sorry, but I can't let this happen." Bob honestly hated saying those words out of his own selfishness. The way Miriam held onto his own hand tightly showed she was sharing those same exact thoughts. "I know you want to go. I do respect that, but we're afraid."

Helga felt herself deflate. "You have to let me go some time. Dr Bliss won't think it's healthy if you keep me tied down."

Miriam tried to keep any type of tear to escape. "We know, sweetheart, but it still is there. That fear. We know that you want to grow past this." She waves her hand between herself and Bob. "We respect that, but still we fear another breakdown. What happens if you are in that jungle and something happens that could be worse?"

Arnold sat silently listening to them talk. They were very afraid. It was an understandable fear. "I'll protect her."

"We know you will, Son, but you need to understand." Bob didn't want to sound insulting to him. "You are mature enough to place yourself in our shoes to see what we are thinking. What happens if this happened to your own child? What happens when the boy she's with wants to do this? It's difficult."

"Yes. We know you need to close this chapter of your life in order to move on, but the fear we have with our own daughter is still heavily there. It is hard to close it when we saw her first hand after it occurred." Miriam paused to think of her daughter still huddled there in the corner. "It was hard."

Seeing her mom begin to cry, Helga got up from her seat to comfort her. "Mom, I love you. It takes more than that to knock me down. I was weak before, but now with everyone around me, I'm starting to get stronger."

"I know, but I'm not ready." Miriam almost squeaked out as she thought of so many bad scenario's that could happen if she left to a place she truly has no clue about.

Arnold could see the decision that she made. It was done with so much of a heavy heart. He couldn't convince them knowing that they had their minds set. The thing that was so hard was to see that it was Helga who was truly in the middle.

* * *

It had been such a full day of speaking with their friends about Arnold having to leave by the end of the week. It was a bit rushed, and so many argued with him trying to force him to stay. Arnold was getting more tired by the second as guilt piled up on him to the point Helga stepped in. She told them why he needed to do this. Many were in fear, and Helga agreed that she was afraid to let him do this, but it needed to be done. Gerald grabbed him to give him a full on brotherly hug making him promise to write. Arnold did. He was tired emotionally so after he walked Helga home, he left just to get some sleep. But he couldn't. Neither could she.

Helga took a chance to leave the confines of her room to rush to the boarding house. She knew it was chancy, but the fact she did it as a woman possessed helped to protect her in some way. It was the love that drove her to climb up his fire escape, tap his window, and to wrap herself in his arms.

They kissed their exposed skin in a slow deliberate way. They wanted to savor one another. Was she desperate for him in this way? No. It was an odd way to know how ready you are with the one person you love and trust the most. He may be leaving for however long, but it was her soul crying out to him. She wanted to be joined with him in so many ways that when they finally connected, she put her head back, and stayed still as a moan was brought forth. She stayed on top of him with her eyes open. Their eyes connected in so many loving moments that she felt reborn with just this. She prayed to God that he will be granted his return back to Hillwood.

"I love you, Helga." Arnold loved saying this every chance he could. The way she looked with that moon shining down on her made him grow more in his love. She is his other half.

Moving down to kiss him, Helga smiled against his lips. "I love you too, Arnold. Come back to me Football Head."

"I will. I promise I will."

They cried out unafraid. They didn't care if anyone else heard them. This was their moment. This was them declaring a future together.

* * *

She was held in Gertie's arms shortly after Arnold disappeared through the first check point. Helga cried heavily hating the fact they had to be separated. She also wanted to rush through those gates to hold him all over again to beg for him to stay. She hated conflicting feelings. She hated having to leave the airport because she knew he was still in there waiting to board. She felt her heart dull in its aching pain. He was her other half. It may of been so plain and simple for those who couldn't understand the concept of true love.

Helga promised his Grandparents that she will visit. Of course she will. She loved them too. She knew she would crawl into his bed at times to try to feel him.

Knocking on her friends door, Phoebe didn't say anything as she went to hold her best friend. Was it the puffiness she spotted in Helga's face? No she felt her heart crying out for attention from very far away. She was expecting Helga to drop by. She set up everything for her to welcome her friend in to know that she isn't alone.

"I'm so afraid he won't come back." Helga weeped heavily. Those were the first words she spoke since leaving Gertie and Phil. Helga wanted to crawl back into the corner to wrap herself in a cocoon. Her love was going off to another country.

'Please return,'she begged within her mind. She hoped he could sense her thoughts right now.

Late at night, Helga put another disc into her player. This one held many of his other songs he written for her. Putting her earplugs in, she laid in her bed to cry.

"Please bring him back to me." She begged again out loud. "Please." She started to squeak out as the crying became harder. She kept repeating the same word over and over again. She didn't know what time it was when her parents came in to try to comfort her. They were obviously feeling guilt for their own feelings, but even she couldn't blame them. It was no ones fault but the very one who originally taken Arnold's parents away.

* * *

It was eight months since his departure with still no word from him. Helga sat across from Dr Bliss in her misery. Helga was very tempted to run out of the country to find him to the point that she applied for a passport just that week. She couldn't take it anymore. She never could feel or hear her own heartbeat. She was crying every night still. She would always visit the Sunset Arms every day. After her visit, she would head upstairs to crawl into his bed to speak to him. Can he truly hear her? Another thing happened since his departure.

"I had a miscarriage." She tried to keep her voice stony to prevent another breakdown. "I wasn't even allowed to keep it. It was like a big kick to my heart. I lost something that was sharing the same body. It was a part of him and myself. I lost him all over again."

"I felt the pain. It was horrible. I didn't think something could be as horrible, but it is. When it left my body I nearly passed out. When I saw what happened, I was in shock. My mom tried to hold me, but here I am holding something in my hands. I lost our baby."

Dr Bliss didn't care to simply place her pad of paper down as she quickly left her chair to comfort the girl in front of her. Bringing her into her arms, she let her cry.

"I'm so sorry, Arnold. I'm so sorry." Helga was clutching a fistful of Bliss's jacket in her hand. "We didn't go to the hospital after because my mom didn't want them placing it down as an abortion. Even she felt that would insult us. I didn't care that I kept bleeding. All I cared about was our baby being lost."

Bliss continued to listen to the poor girl having to suffer a different type of loss. "He'll come back, Helga. Arnold will come back. Even I have to believe that. You'll have another child."

Pulling back, Helga stared directly into her eyes as if she wanted to reach into her own heart. "What if I don't? I know I'm young, but I wanted it. I wanted our baby. I would of been a good mother to it. I would of."

She felt the young woman wrap her arms around her making even Bliss's eyes moisten. "I know you would of."

She was eighteen losing two of her loves in two different ways. Helga prayed to Arnold to come back. She wanted to wrap her arms around him to soak him in, and never let him go.

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry that she didn't go with him, Diamonddiva. I had to be realistic there.**

 **Starfictionwriter - Thank you for that review. I really appreciate it.**

 **I did have a miscarriage and it happened to be from a guy I was really crazy about. Besides talking about me being violated, me having a miscarriage is incredibly hard so I included that. Seriously this was a really hard chapter to write out.**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews. I greatly appreciate them. Alright there will be a fair bit of warning here on here. I have been very depressed for the past week so it is obviously reflected a lot in my writing. I guess this is why I'm writing another story at the same time to save my mind from going completely under. Something far more light hearted than this one based on another cartoon. I must save my sanity once in a while.**

* * *

She still felt numb while she listened to everyone gobble about the prom. It was so close to graduation and yet, she just didn't care. Still nothing at all from Arnold. She felt that emptiness inside of her grow more and more. She tried to always put her best foot forward around his Grandparents, but never could. She always spent so much time there or on her rooftop. She remembered working for hours doing this, and every thing she saw was him.

The reason why she thought up the word, 'Gobble' is to do the fact that while she sits around anywheres on school grounds, everyones voices mesh together to the point of them sounding like crazy chickens. Well that was a nice run on sentence in her mind. She declined guys asking her to prom. The only person she wanted to go with is, Arnold. Closing her eyes, Helga imagined having a conversation with him in her head, but stopped when she asked if he was safe. The reply was never coming. She was held in limbo by something else.

Sensing another presence, Helga didn't bother to open her eyes. "Hi Brainy."

"Uh, hi." His breathing was far more controlled then ever before. He was still in fear of setting her off.

"Come to ask me a question?" She knew he wanted to ask her to prom.

Brainy knew it was such a futile question to ask, but he still hoped. How could he just give up? Where ever Arnold was right now, he was sure he wasn't giving up. "Will you go to prom with me?"

Now this is when it gets tough to let someone down. Brainy cared for her deeply, and he was a very good friend to her. Helga's eyes opened up very slowly just so she can give him her attention. "I'm really sorry, Brainy."

There was his answer. "No one is Arnold. I understand." His attention diverted to his hands in his lap. No jealousy. No malice was in him. He loved her fully. "What does your doctor say about all this?"

"She understands why it isn't time for me to move on. Even she is holding out on hope that he will return soon. You wouldn't think a Psychiatrist would say that, but she has. I lost myself in one act, I then lose Arnold, and now my baby. I feel like I keep getting punched. So here I am going to school still. I visit his Grandparents every day. I visit the garden we built together. No word and I'm not even angry at him. Whatever is happening I hope that he is alright. Thing is, I don't feel like he is dead. He is lost somewheres."

Brainy thought her tone of voice was heavily thoughtful. Poignant. It was a lot less then her past monologues he loved catching her harmoniously reciting. "Do you think he has." He cut off his question hating himself for the possibility of hurting her.

Helga knew what he was getting at. "He hasn't. Arnold loves me still. I believe him when he told me that. At first I didn't because I hated to be a burden, but he still stuck by me. He knows I'm here."

There was no denial in her. Even he knew she was correct. Arnold boasted about his love for her with something extra underneath. It was a secret. A very good secret. "How's Roxie?"

"She is her own emptiness in the field of light. Always swaying. Always praying. Still she is here to keep living on when she wanted to die not so long ago." Was her answer cryptic? She knew not to Brainy.

"She realizes it is better to beat him at his own game then. She must of learned it from you."

Helga smiled a little at that, but needed to deny. "Anyone can say anything to anyone, Brainy, but it is up to them to change. Roxie is a lot more stronger than she gives herself credit for. Thank goodness she has Rhonda acting as a best friend along with being her cousin. Rhonda has done an excellent job with her."

"Glad to hear that." Watching the breeze play with her hair, Brainy was caught up in how ethereal she appeared right now. "Mind if I continue to sit next to you?"

"Sure." What a simple answer as she slowly closed her eyes again just to daydream. She couldn't wait for this school year to end. "I'm taking a year off of school. After everything I need to recharge my batteries since I'm so close to breaking down."

* * *

Phoebe appreciated Helga for coming with her to pick out prom dresses with her. Phoebe tried to get her to agree to go to prom, but she felt guilt within her own head as if someone was warning her not to force her. What was strange was that the inner voice sounded too much like Arnold. She almost gulped at him possibly being dead, but held back knowing how silly she was being just then.

"How's this?" Phoebe inquired turning herself to Helga's full view.

The coral wasn't even her. "The color clashes with your skin tone. I do like the style on you."

Turning to look at herself in the mirror again, Phoebe wasn't fond of the color herself as she unzipped the dress to go for another one next to her. Behind her shoulder she spotted Helga's saddened expression once more. Slipping into the next dress, Phoebe didn't bother to ask her opinion as she surprised her friend by wrapping her up in a hug.

Helga may of responded back but it was so half hearted. "I know I have a cloud following me around all the time. I know even Gerald feels sad that Arnold is gone."

"He does. I know after all these years he returned your feelings and you share a night together."

She raised her hand up to stop her from finishing her thought out. "At least I have no regrets there. I just hate that I lost our child."

It was so hard to come up with any new thoughts to say. Phoebe was at a loss, but her loss will never stop her from being by her side. She loved her like a sister. She is her best friend. She always internalized on what more to say, but all she could do is to be at her side.

* * *

Bob was none to surprised to find his daughter up on the roof. Seeing her on the lawn chair laying on her stomach with her feet in the air, he watched how she kept her attention in front of her. Frowning, he felt his guilt all over again as he approached her to make the usual comments on the garden and what a remarkable job they did.

"Dad, stop feeling guilty." Helga's eyes went up to his own. "Once every two weeks you do this."

"Yeah well I know, but I can't help it. It hurts us to see you like this."

"Well at least you care." Her gaze fell back to the area she always focused on. The one area that Arnold and herself butted heads literally. They were so into what they were doing that they bent at the same time hitting their heads against the other. They laughed after it happened. Only they could do that. "I never asked you why you weren't upset at me for being pregnant."

Bob won't lie to her. "To find out you were was hard at first, but at least it was with him."

Helga nodded her head simply. "I really wanted it."

"I know. We would never have you give it up in spite of how hard it might be for you."

Her eyes met with his. "I love you, but I do wish I was with him. I miss him so badly."

"I know you do. He was a really good guy to you."

Helga granted him a very small smile before it disappeared. Arnold is the love of her life.

* * *

Graduation came and went. So many thrilled about it while one breathed a sigh of relief. So many seemed to understand her need to walk away from there as she felt her feet feel like led weights. Helga only paused briefly to look behind her at the celebrating peers. She grew up far too quickly in a short amount of time. She was tired. She was far more depressed then before as she trudged along. Going home will be a welcome relief.

At home, she went to her room to sleep. She slept for more than twelve hours. Every dream had to do with Arnold from when she first met him to the moment he left. There were tear stains on her cheeks from her crying. She knew she needed more help, but for now her therapy was her pillow.

 _Helga you know I will never leave you in the way you may think. I'm still here. I'm still alive. I'm just temporarily unavailable. Oh I see the doubts written in those blue eyes of yours, Helga. Don't doubt. I'm stronger than I look. I'll be back one day. I made that promise. I love you._

Helga opened her eyes up just to cringe at the light filtering in through her window. Groaning out, she turned onto her back. "I love you too, Arnold. I made my promise to you."

She felt that was his message to her again. Something more added to it. She had to believe it. This was her Arnold after all.


	17. Chapter 17

**_A/N: In this it is fairly obvious that TJM never happened. This flashback is to show that moment when they finally got really close._**

* * *

 _*Flashback 13 years old*_

 _"Hello?" Hearing a faint clicking on the phone along with a sniffle, Helga cursed the phone downstairs for not having caller i.d. "Who is this?"_

 _"H-Helga." More sobbing was heard before a final click on the line._

 _"Arnold?" She never heard him that upset. Calling his name out again she was met with a busy signal. Feeling that it was best not to call back, Helga went to grab her coat before rushing out into the rain._

 _Running all the way to the boarding house, Helga ran up the stoop to knock on the door. Seeing it answered by Ernie, Helga thanked him as she instinctively ran upstairs to his room. Not bothering to knock on the door, she went inside to find him huddled in his bed crying away. Removing her coat, she placed it on the ground next to the door._

 _"They're dead Helga. Dead." Arnold knew it was her just like she knew it was always him when he tried to sneak up to her._

 _Her heart went out to him as she rushed over to his side just to crawl in bed next to him. Helga wrapped her arms around him to allow him to cry. To allow him to speak. Did he call Gerald or even Lila? She was sure his Grandparents knew. She wasn't one to say a simple sorry to him. She was the one who always offered him the truth._

 _"I've been wanting to go down there to search for them, but now it is all gone. The remains were theirs. I will never see them. I don't remember them. I was so young and all I have is this picture and a map."_

 _"Who told you?" It was time to speak._

 _"The authorities there. We issued out a request for them. DNA and all. It's them Helga." Arnold looked up just to fix on the photograph next to his bed. "How could I miss them when I don't know them."_

 _Moving her hand up she brought it through his hair. "You know them. Your Grandparents are your dad. The love in your heart is all of them. Look at their faces. I've seen you look like them on many occasions. I may not know them, but I feel I do through you and your Grandparents."_

 _Arnold almost squeaked out between his sobs and talking. "This is why I called you. Gerald is like my brother and I may be seeing Lila right now, but they won't say anything else but I'm sorry."_

 _"You forgetting that Lila would tell you that she is ever so sorry. You must add those extra two words between those two words." Helga teased._

 _Laughing in spite of his sorrow, Arnold turned around to face her. "I'm so sorry I ever called you a bitch that one time. You aren't."_

 _"I am and it is all fine." Feeling him wrap his arms around her with such a force, Helga squeaked out this time. "Arnold, it is fine. I forgave you for that two years ago. We are fine. We are still friends in spite of me being in another school."_

 _"I hate that you are in that school. I hate not seeing you in the hallways."_

" _You are sick since you miss me tormenting you." She teased._

 _He kissed her cheek. "You haven't done that in a long time, Helga. Remember that I did call you because I knew I can depend on you here."_

 _While she tried to make her feelings lay down for him in the way of obsession, she knew they were still there lingering. She wasn't too fond of Lila, but will let him have this relationship knowing it won't be forever. Maybe she'll have a chance one day, but for now she'll be his friend before entertaining the thought of another guy._

 _"I'll always be there for you, Arnold."_

 _"I'll always be there for you too."_

 _She found him asleep as soon as those words were out of his mouth. Being thirteen in the arms of the boy she always wanted to lay next to. She was offering him comfort. Offering him her friendship. He was truly the first guy she ever trusted even if she hardly shared as much to him. She was ashamed of her past._

After that day they got into a habit of calling one another every week. In truth she loved it as much as he professed to her. They became even more closer than before and even though she claimed to have put her feelings of him aside, she thought deep down if he gave her a chance she would take it in a heartbeat.

Pity that heartbeat was broken after her attack. The guy of her dreams admits to his feelings to her and she was trying to run away at first. Arnold was so patient with her. That was a story too many were already treated to.

* * *

Helga's year off consisted of helping his Grandparents out even when they were both really ill. She helped them get better while helping to run the Sunset Arms. She seemed to get any frustration off her chest whenever she hit Oskar on the top of his head with either her hand or a ladle. When she wanted to rest she ended up in Arnold's room laying in his bed. She was surprised he never brought the picture with him so occasionally she found herself talking to it.

"I miss you." She whispered to baby Arnold.

When his Grandparents got better she still helped out to the point that they brought her aside to tell her something. They told her they updated their will to include her name in getting the boarding house in case of their deaths. Helga refused this saying it didn't belong at all to her. When they added that in case Arnold does happen to return it will be automatically placed in his name. She felt relief there. She wasn't a Shortman.

"To us you are an honorary Shortman." Phil informed her a day later. "Even Arnold will agree with us."

Tears pinpricked her eyes prompting her to hug him. She felt it to be a huge compliment. A huge honor. She loved his family. She loved their large hearts.

In time, she found herself enrolling in college opting for business management instead of her first love of the literary. She still had her writers block. On the way home, she bought some paints and a canvas. She tried to paint a flower, but in her frustration she grabbed a fistful of paint in both her hands to begin painting like that. Reds, blues, greens, and yellow were smeared on the canvas bringing forth an eye staring back at her. Breathing hard, Helga felt this huge floodgate open up as she began to cry heavily before she laughed. Many would think you are insane like this, but with a smile that formed on her face she went to clean her hands up. She came back to grab her dusty pink journal and wrote.

Poem after poem dedicated to her Football Head.

Poem after poem dedicated to other things.

She looked at the words that stared back up to her. Bringing the journal up to her chest to clutch at it she kept saying, "Thank you. Thank you." Opening it back up she smiled once more. She heard the door opening below with her dad announcing he was home. Leaping on her feet, she ran out of her room with excitement. "I'm writing again! I'm writing!" She ran into his arms. "Oh god."

Bob held her in his arms only releasing it just she can show him what she wrote. His little girl broke through her block some how. There was hope. "I'm proud of you."

She was too. It was another step in the right direction.

Two weeks later she went to the doctors for a check up. It was just a standard one with nothing to worry about. When she left the office to step back into the waiting room she was met up with the guy who caused her more harm than anyone. Their eyes met, and she noticed he was with someone. Not wishing for any drama she left the office. Outside the building she headed to the parking lot to get to her car. She froze when she heard her name being called. She did not need this as she continued to walk only to be grabbed by him. Removing herself from his grip she turned around quickly to face him.

"Do you have any idea what you've done to me bitch?" He yelled out.

Helga couldn't believe the audacity that he had. "Excuse me?"

"Not only did your little boyfriend punch me but I have to work extra hard to get a girl to be with me. It is all because of you." He accused.

Helga saw that many were starting to gather around to watch the drama including the girl he was with. "Why because I spoke the truth?"

The guy laughed mockingly at her. "Truth? You wanted it. You begged me for it. I just did you a favor in giving it to you."

Her mouth went wide at how delusional he was. "I begged for it?" He nods his head in affirmation. "You flirted with me and I mocked you. I never once invited you to surprise me in the bathroom to force yourself onto me." She steps a bit closer to him. "There is only one guy I will ever allow myself to be with and you certainly wasn't him."

"You opened your legs up pretty wide for me."

Helga punched him hard in the face landing him on the ground. She noticed security was there, but not moving to grab her. "You came into the bathroom while I was using it. When I was about to leave the stall you slammed that door open slamming into the wall hard. You made me black out, you forced my legs open, ripped my panties off, and took my virginity away. You killed me that day. Ripped what I most valued away."

"Lying bitch." Turning his head to look at the girl he was with he pleaded with her. "Janine she's lying. She's just jealous."

Janine stepped forward to go up to Helga to surprise her with a hug. Separating from her, Janine turned her attention back to him. "I was raped myself and I know when someone isn't lying." Points to Helga. "She isn't lying. I never want to see you again." Looks back to Helga. "I'm really sorry that happened to you."

Redemption. This felt like redemption making Helga hug her back. "Thank you. Oh god thank you. I'm really sorry that happened to you too."

"We have to stick together." Pulling away Janine stepped back seeming to know the look on satisfaction settling on Helga's face. "Do it for all of us."

Seeing the jerk get up, Helga stepped forward to kick him hard right at his groin before laying in another punch to the face. "Redemption never felt so good." She hissed out.

It was strange to see people clapping for her. So she got her writing back and now these people supported her in what she did. She knew proof will be hard to do in this case after so long especially with how that school believed him. This was her court right now.

"If another girl comes forward saying you raped her, I will stand by her side." Helga promised before taking her keys out to head to her car. The girl rushed over to give her a number to contact her in case she wanted to meet up. Taking it, Helga had a feeling that even Roxie will get a new friend out of this too.

On the way home, she spotted Gerald with Phoebe walking hand in hand down the street. Stopping the car, she ran out to hug Phoebe telling them how she punched and kicked the guy in the groin. She spoke of how great it felt to have support from others. From his ex-girlfriend who gave Helga her number.

"I know he isn't in jail, but it felt so good to do that. God I hope I damaged him so good that he can't have kids." Helga declared almost hopping up and down. "I have to tell my parents." Hugging her best friend, she went back to her car to rush home.

Reaching her house, Helga parked the car doing the same thing in excitement as she ran up her stoop to go in to hug them both on the couch. The excitement only died down when she didn't have her Football Head to tell this to. She knew Arnold would be happy for her.

* * *

 **A/N: I am a much better painter than a writer. I did have writers block for a much longer time then what I'm writing in this story. While on leave from work I took out my canvas and paints and did exactly what I described in this chapter. It broke through my block and since then I write far more than before and I paint even more. Am I famous? Nope. As for the whole redemption deal, that happened as well. It felt so damn good to do that. I came home practically dancing. When I was with my boyfriend at the time I didn't have thoughts of that guy when I closed my eyes.**

 **If anyone questions why I didn't tell this to the cops, the whole damn school believed him over me. Even when I had to take a deposition for another case I was involved in I was reamed pretty hard there. They didn't believe me and it felt like I was experiencing it all over again. I only say this out loud to that one troll that left a guest review. Unless you experienced something like this then you have no right to judge me. I'm strong, but I am sensitive.**

 **Thanks to everyone else for their very kind reviews. :)**


	18. Chapter 18

It had been a few months in college where she finally settled in some sort of groove. Receiving a paper back on her stance on social economics, Helga started to read the note the teacher placed on it when she was far from the class heading down the pathway to where her car was parked. Getting accidently hit by a guy who apologized for his clumsiness, Helga dismissed it quickly to continue reading the note. Thinking that the teacher needed some grammar lessons on how to construct a note, she had to re-read it at least ten times for it to make sense.

"Crazy teacher." She murmured with some derision. While the teacher was good at explaining himself in class it just didn't translate to his notes.

Putting the paper into her book bag, she lifted her head to slow her pace down when she spotted a dream in front of her. He stood there with faded blue jeans and a short sleeve red plaid shirt. Saying his name in a whisper, she squinted her eyes before pinching herself. Feeling tears slowly move down her cheeks, Helga had no clue she was crying till she felt that. She didn't feel herself running till she ran into his arms. Between crying and laughing, Helga loved how those arms enveloped her. So long of waiting to hear from him. So long in seeing his face. The worry. The fear. The loss of their child piled up.

"Arnold is that really you?" Her voice was in awe.

"Yes Helga, it's me. I'm so sorry I've been gone for so long. I'm so sorry."

Helga could hear his voice choking down sobs of his own. Pulling away from him just a bit, Helga cupped his face in her hands. "I missed you so much." Crushing her lips to him, Helga loved the smile that played on his lips against her own. Pulling back a little, she had to take in his face. "Don't leave me again. Don't."

"If I do, I'm taking you with me." He promised. "I have already seen my Grandparents. Thank you for taking care of them."

"I love them, Arnold. Of course I will always do that." Feeling his arms wrap around her he swung her around in a circle making her laugh. "You know you have to tell me what happened to make you not send letters to us." Feeling dread from him stopping suddenly, she was let down. "Arnold?"

His face looked dark. "Let's go to the boarding house and I'll tell you everything."

Feeling him take her hand, Helga led him to her vehicle so they could use that. He held such sadness in those eyes that she feared so much.

In his bedroom, they both sat down on the couch as she listened to him tell her what happened shortly after he got there. The Green Eyes were discovered by La Sombra's men leading many to be captured including himself. When they found out who he was and who he was related to, Arnold was being forced to tell La Sombra what he wanted to know. Refusing to say anything, Arnold was either beaten or one of the Green Eyes were tortured. It didn't help that he was considered special to the Green Eyes for what he did during his birth. It made things worse. When the Shaman was brought in, he was instructed to never give in no matter what. There is many ways of fighting and that is what he must do. He was told that he lost something very special some time after he left his home. Arnold was confused by that even when it was mentioned that even though that life wasn't meant to happen, it does have meaning. That meaning is what you must fight for. While still not understanding, Arnold did understand the need to fight.

For months he began to do the teachings of Gertie. Proper breathing techniques. Full meditation. It taught him when was the right time and when he finally reached it, Arnold made his move. It seemed that the captured Green Eyes needed him to finally be in sync with them. To fight against the fear and also to use it to your benefit. When it happened, La Sombra didn't know what happened nor his men. While the Green Eyes are a peaceful group they will fight to the end if need be, and that end was La Sombra falling off the steepest waterfall.

"When it was clear that he was truly gone, I left soon after. Now I'm here thankfully where I belong." Arnold finished enjoying her hand in his. "Helga you have no idea how truly glad to see you again."

"I'm so happy to have you back." Helga fought against her tears. "You are a sight for sore eyes."

"So are you. I dreamed about you every night. I carried on conversations with you in my head. I couldn't wait to see your beautiful face again." Kissing her temple, Arnold wrapped his arm around her. "What has been going on with you? Grandma and Grandpa told me that you were at school after they said you came to visit them every day."

"I'm writing again. I broke through my block. One day I painted something and it snapped back into me. I was crying and laughing." Helga will leave the other thing for last. "I got some redemption one day after a doctors visit. That asshole was in the office with his then girlfriend. He confronted me accusing me of such lies. I spoke the truth and as he continued to accuse me, I punched him hard." She laughs at that. "Security didn't do anything to me and he was telling his girlfriend how I'm lying, and she believed me. She was raped to so she knew I wasn't lying. The girl hugged me and I kicked the guy in the balls. Then I punched him for good measure. It felt like redemption. When I told him that if a girl comes up to accuse him of rape I will support her. I was so happy doing that."

Wrapping her up in his arms, Arnold kissed her. "I love your smile on your face. I guess you took that as a bit of justice."

"I did. Karma is a bitch and I hope it attacks back forcefully on his ass."

Seeing a cloud pass her eyes, Arnold brushed some hair from her face. "Angel, what is wrong?"

Sucking her lip between her teeth, Helga knew this was going to be very hard. "It is what the Shaman said to you. I know what he meant." A tear drop escaped her eye. "We made a baby and I lost it." Covering her eyes up with her hands, Helga broke down afraid of what he might think till she felt him bring her on his lap to wrap her up even more in his arms as his head rested against her. Feeling tears from him, Helga released her hands to wrap around him. "I'm so sorry. I wanted it so badly."

"Oh my Helga. Don't apologize." Choking, Arnold lifted her up in his arms to carry her over to his bed. Laying down next to her, Arnold and her continued to hold one another as if their lives depended on it. "The Shaman told me that the one I'm going back to is very special and important to my life. Someone who breathes with me. Helga, I know that is you. You kept me alive. He said my angel awaits for my return."

"I never ever stopped thinking about you. I had conversations with you hoping you can somehow hear my voice. Whenever I visited here I would often rest on your bed. Talk to your picture right next to you."

Pressing his lips against hers, Arnold felt new life build up. She always had the ability to make him feel so alive. "I drew your face in the sand of the place they held me at. Of course I had to remove it so they wouldn't get any ideas, but every night I would draw you."

For a while they just kept themselves cocooned within their space even as a bird landed on top of the skylight to look in on them. They smiled towards the male Oriole in its splendid color before a female joined it. They watched till they both flew away to their own destination. Arnold took in her fragrance even as he went and dug into his pocket to pull out her ribbon.

"I kept it safe on me."

Helga examined it noticing it was still as pink as can be. "I knew I was in safe hands with you."

Arnold kissed her forehead. "Did you go to prom?"

"No. There was only one person I wanted to go with and that was you."

Moving to get off the bed, Arnold went to his stereo to turn it on. Selecting the perfect music for them, he went back to her extending his hand out. "May I?"

Helga thrilled as she placed her hand in his, and slid off the bed. "Yes you may, Sir."

Taking her ribbon out, Arnold attached it to her hair. "Perfect." Loving the blush forming on her cheeks, Arnold took her in his arms to begin a slow dance.

He finally achieved freedom and came back to the ones he loves. To the girl of his dreams.

Helga lifted her mouth to his ear to whisper, "I love you just the way you are."

Don't go changing, to try and please me  
You never let me down before  
Don't imagine you're too familiar  
And I don't see you anymore

I wouldn't leave you in times of trouble  
We never could have come this far  
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times  
I'll take you just the way you are

Don't go trying some new fashion  
Don't change the color of your hair  
You always have my unspoken passion  
Although I might not seem to care

I don't want clever conversation  
I never want to work that hard  
I just want someone that I can talk to  
I want you just the way you are.

I need to know that you will always be  
The same old someone that I knew  
What will it take till you believe in me  
The way that I believe in you.

I said I love you and that's forever  
And this I promise from the heart  
I could not love you any better  
I love you just the way you are.

Tomorrow they will go to their friends. Tomorrow they will hear what happened to him. Today and tonight was just for them alone.

* * *

 **A/N: The song is "Just the way you are" by Billy Joel**

 **I wasn't about to let Arnold stay away forever.**


	19. Epilogue

Their friends naturally rejoiced to having Arnold back. Helga more than others as they all gathered at the boarding house for his welcome back party. Shortly after he came back, he called her one night to say that he had a nightmare of what happened to the point that he was audibly crying over the phone. Changing into her clothes, Helga grabbed her keys, knocked on her parents door to inform them that she was heading over to Arnold's due to him being upset. When she rushed over, Helga was let in by Susie before rushing upstairs to his room. From there she held him all night letting him talk as long as he wanted and to cry. Helga experienced her own traumas while he experienced his own. She understood completely what he was going through.

Standing on the sidelines just observing him, Helga watched him smile and laugh with their friends. Seeing Brainy approach with a drink in hand, he stood next to her in silence. "You are a sweet guy, Brainy. I hope Ms Right comes to you very soon so I can see you really happy."

"Clone yourself and I will."

His sure tone made her blush. "You wouldn't want a carbon copy of me. Would you be happy with a complete duplicate around?"

Brainy looked to her blue eyes focusing on him. "No, but I can't have the original. The original is reserved for one only."

"I admit to how true that always is. I knew I wasn't meant for someone else. I did try to move past him, but he has this power over me that is very welcoming. It is a power that won't necessarily take mines away, but gives me more. We feed off one another and to me that makes for a perfect relationship." Bringing her eyes back to focus on her love, Helga smiled at him as he smiled back at her. They held a private conversation that no one else will know of.

"He's been victimized like yourself. He helped you cope. I know you are doing the same for him." Scanning all their friends, Brainy always continued his observations. "Gerald and Phoebe may be the other couple who are just like you both. They both understand and they both compliment. The others hoped for that lifelong relationship with whom they are with, but in truth it won't be as strong."

"But they can always keep striving for it. It is the same when something traumatic happens. You either lie down to let it take you down or you fight. First I wanted to lie down and die. I just wanted to give up." Helga didn't want to mist up, but she knew how that wouldn't be. Talking like this is both emotional and powerful. The power is to that strength to keep going. The power is wanting to help others. "I'm grateful for everyone standing by my side. I know it was hard, but they did. It makes me appreciate them even more. They helped to show I can dust myself off and fight. Everyone is a fighter, they just need that motivation. That inner strength."

Brainy noticed Arnold approaching her. Feeling misty eyed himself, Brainy smiled at her words. "You gave so many it yourself. I hope you realize it. I see Roxie also on the rooftop speaking to Eugene and Gerald."

Roxie admitted to feeling still hesitant with men, but at least she was growing her trust with all their friends. Roxie realized herself that not all men are horrible. Oh she still had her occasional nightmares, but to know she was growing gave hope for more. Her pains have lessened significantly while she alternated from the heavy medication to things that were more natural to your diet. Rhonda attributed to that one more than anything. Watching Rhonda approach Roxie from behind to hug her, Helga couldn't help how they were more than just cousins. They acted like best friends.

"She's amazing." Helga may of said that simply, but it held a lot of meaning.

"Hey Angel." Arnold greeted her sweetly.

"Hey Football Head." She greeted back in the same manner.

Flashing a look to Brainy, Arnold asked him in a gentlemanly way. "May I steal her away so I may dance with my girlfriend?"

"Uh sure, but have her home here by ten." Brainy answered in a rare joking manner.

"Too cute, Brainy." Giving him a casual wink, Helga took Arnold's hand as he guided her over to the middle of their dance floor for a slow dance.

"You are my purest Angel even if you did steal my baseball cap a long time ago." He half teased.

Kissing his cheek, Helga shook her head. "A little impossible given the fact that the wind swept it away only to land right in my grasp."

Chuckling softly, Arnold kissed her on the lips. "Then that is fate I guess. You were nice enough to return it back to me."

"Because I hate seeing you so upset. It tore me apart all the time when you were like that. I want my Football Head happy."

"Helga, you make me happy all the time." Stopping mid-dance, he kissed her for the remainder of the song.

* * *

"Tonight I have heard so many enpowering stories from many from different walks of life with such common things. We all want justice. We all want kindness. Understanding. Strength. Love. We all want to wake up feeling like what happened in our past will no longer affect us, even though it will. Oh I wish I can say that it will be easily forgotten, but we know it won't. We have to learn our own strengths. Our weaknesses. We have to keep growing. Keep striving for what is best for us. Many may think you are selfish to think this way, but you aren't. It is all about self-love. Oh it is true we all forget after it happens. It is true that many have thought to end it in many different ways." Helga scanned the room to find many nodding their heads.

"I wanted to die. I prayed for that end thinking it was the only way out. It is hard to admit to that at times. The love and support from my parents helped me get up. My friends kept me walking after I stood up. It is me that finally found some strength again to keep moving forward." Taking a breath, Helga had to calm herself. Focusing on Arnold's face she smiled warmly to him.

"I want to tell everyone about this girl who fell in love with a boy at the age of three. He showed her kindness. He shielded her from the rain even though she was muddy and wet already. It was the kindness from within his heart that had her falling deeply in love. The boy with the jelly bean green eyes and cornflower hair. Sometime after she became his personal tormentor. She was afraid of showing her true self after being so teased and ridiculed for showing her true side. It did hurt her to do this to a very kind boy she fell in love with, but when you are a child you don't know the difference. You hide your true feelings behind a mask that you built. In time this boy and girl became friends, then closer friends when he called her one night. He knew she would say what he needed to hear. He knew he could always count on her from things she done in the past. It was always the same in how she felt for him." Helga paused again to let the words sift in. Also she took her time to look at Arnold.

"This girl went to a different school. This girl tried to move past this kind boy, but she knew the truth. It is hard to deny such a strong love. While she was in this school a boy took notice of her. He flirted. He tried to go on dates with her, but she never accepted. She mocked in the way she knew how. She mocked from her own insecurity. While she was in this school this boy snuck up to her and attacked her. Attacked her being. Attacked her body. He tore something away from her shattering her in the process. When he was done and was gone she was left in shambles. She felt dead. She realized that day that there is a new way of killing you. In her humiliation she didn't breath a word of it till she couldn't take it no more. She spoke to someone she thought she could trust, but they believed the boy over the girl. Extra humiliation was bestowed to her making her run. Run to the buses only to have security take her away. The humiliation of the whole school bares down to her. How much more can she take? Call her parents, and the mother yells not understanding till she finally explains. The mom understands. The father says words not understanding making her run away. When she gets back, he tries to apologize, but she tries to duck away. When she explained everything to him, her father said the words that made the girl break down to the true reality. It was a reality she already knew, but to have it voiced by another was so much. You were raped, he said."

A tear drop rolled down her cheek. Helga doesn't bother to wipe it away even as she hears so many others crying in the audience now. "Uh." Closing her eyes, Helga feels that tear running slowly down her neck now. "For days she couldn't leave the hard corner of her room. The bed was so soft that it offered many nightmares of that day. The hard floor didn't. Her parents comforted. Her friend came over and she shared to her best friend what happened. Her Psychiatrist was awesome coming to her because she was afraid to leave the house. The boy that she loves didn't know what was happening to her and she wondered if she'll ever be the same." Looking away slightly Helga released a huff of air. It was so much harder telling the story this way. It made her remember how truly innocent she once was.

"She did go to school again with her old friends. She didn't want to have guys talk to her or touch her. She only had her best friend to keep her company till another friend came up to say she knows what happened to her. She knew because of the signs she exhibited. She knew because a family member of hers suffered too. A family member who will eventually became her friend. The boy of her dreams wanted to approach but couldn't. She knew it broke his heart when he witnessed her breaking down in front of his eyes. He was always this sensitive. Eventually she had the others girls gathering around her. Friends she has known since preschool. They didn't know what was happening, they just knew to help another out. One day the monster was at that school and seeing him there broke her. She screamed to a friend of hers to get away from him. She announced to the whole school that he raped her. The boy was smug and attacked her in front of others. The boy that she loves came out of nowheres to not only shove him away, but punch him. The girl ran out of school only to be followed by the boy she loves."

Arnold continued looking up to her helping give his support. Mouthing to her that he loves her. Whenever Helga looked at him she give him a tiny smile before continuing.

"He ran after her. Wanting to help her. She ran into his grandmother who held her in her arms and brought her inside to get warm. Said boy was so upset that he went to his room to begin playing guitar and sing. The girl approached him deciding to stay his room to look up at the sky through his skylight. It comforted her. They talked. He confessed his feelings for her. She wanted him to forget about her since she was broken and didn't want to be a burden. He was determined. That was him. When the girl went to school again she found more of her old friends surrounding her. She found notes in her locker telling her how proud they were. While one school shunned her and called her a liar, she had another believing her and having pride. It felt good to her. It helped. Oh she still had bad days."

"As time passed she kissed her dream guy on the lips. He always wanted her to call the shots. Wanted her comfortable. He is beautiful in how patient and understanding he was. Still is. One day he wanted to be her boyfriend and she accepted. It didn't last long due to she say that monster the same night as their date. She ended it, but they still remained together like they have a relationship still. One day the boy had to leave. It was a temporary thing and it was the first time she made love to him. To the boy she always wanted to give herself to alone. Sometime after he left she found she was pregnant, then she wasn't. It is still something they both haven't gotten over yet, but they will keep moving on still loving the baby they haven't met."

"During the time her love was away, she helped with his family. Visited them. During all that time the girl picked up paint and a canvas with the intention of painting that day. She couldn't paint what she wanted so she took all this paint in her hands and smeared it all over this canvas. It broke a wall. You see she loves to write but couldn't after that other school attacked her. In the finished product of that canvas, she began to write again." Sniffles. She really needed tissues. "She was so happy to get something she loves back."

"Then some redemption happened. After a doctors visit that monster came to accuse her of such lies to the point she punched him in front of others. He continued to say she was wrong and tried to get his girlfriend on his side. She believed the girl because she knows how it is since she lived it. The girl kicked the monster where it counts and laid in another punch. She told that monster that if a girl comes forward to say what he did to her, that she'll support her. In the end, not only did she gain another friend, she gained some redemption. Not long after that, her love returned. During all this time they didn't label themselves as boyfriend and girlfriend. That day they did."

Taking a drink of water, Helga took in a cleansing breath. "We all know that girl is me. All my loved ones are here in the audience. All my new friends are here too. Am I the lucky one to have my monster in jail? No. I know karma is a bitch and I hope he understands the first part of it when I did that to him. I still find it hard to say his actual name. It is something I'm still working on. I know something I am lucky for is to know so many wonderful people in my life. It amazes me in how many more I'm meeting. I'm here because I want to share my story. I'm here because I want to help in one way or another. I'll keep talking about this because you can't let this be bottled up. Please continue to share your stories. You have no idea who you are helping in the end. Thank you so much for listening to me."

Hearing the applause, Helga felt more tears going down as pride mixed in. Feeling very familiar arms wrap themselves around her, Helga had to wonder how truly fast Arnold is. She didn't know how long this will last between them, but she was hopeful that it truly will be forever.

"I'm proud of you, Arnold." She whispered in his ear.

"Isn't that my line, Helga?" Arnold inquired giving her a very loving kiss on the cheek.

Smiling at his sweet tone, Helga knew that this will always make him smile. "Whatever you say, Football Head."

Yes he loved it by how he lifted her up in his arms to twirl her around. Yeah they were still on stage doing this. No they didn't care who saw. They were always one another's pillars of strength. Isn't that the way it is supposed to be?

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you to everyone for reading this and supporting me with your reviews. I'm leaving this as the final chapter hoping to bring something across from my own personal experience. The rape is real. What that other school did to me is real. I also love to paint. I have written stories whether short, a poem, or something like this for others to read. Please if you or someone you knows has been a victim please share. Please help. You have no idea what it truly does to someone.**

 **Once again, thank you reading and reviewing.**


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